Strip club!

[everythinghappensforareason]

So dh has been kicked out back to his Mothers following a night out Saturday, that ended at a strip club, not only that but also paying for a lap dance from a young girl in nothing but a thong. Ive never been so mad, there was 3 of them. It makes me feel sick, he has apologised + claimed he didn't enjoy it one bit, it was worse than he imagined etc. but i just feel like people around me ( his family) Probably think im over reacting, so my question is, what would u do?

[everythinghappensforareason]

Thanks for that hopefloats. Sorry if I havent put out enough, we have a newborn.

I just wanted to know what people thought on this, I asked for opinions and got them. I don't blame the girl btw she was "doing her job" he is all to blame.

[Lessthanaballpark]

I don't see anything being "hysterical" except for you, hopefloats. Regardless of whether the lapdancer was happy or not, the OP's DH was still doing something he knew he shouldn't. Can't see how it makes it any better from his point of view.

[YouTheCat]

He had the option of saying 'no'.

[ENormaSnob]

It's awful hoho.

My friends sister started in that industry at the age of 16

[countrykitten]

There was a poster on here not so long ago who DID lapdance for her husband because he liked going to them and she wanted to 'keep' him. Bloody grim.

hopefloats you really are not getting it are you? Hard to believe that women actually think like this.

[pinkyredrose]

Of course he's not 5! It's just that these threads on strip clubs often explode into hysteria.

He saw some womans boobs big wow. He didn't shag her.

I know quite a few strippers and they're as far away from exploited as you can get. I actually think the men are the fools in this situation, paying through the nose to see female flesh when they've got perfectly good partners at home. More fool them.

[YouTheCat]

Yes, but Pinky, it's more about the utter lack of respect for his wife.

[countrykitten]

Enorma that is appalling and sad.

[aldiwhore]

And Enorma I gave my ex lots of lovely blow jobs, yet he still shagged about

hope the maths doesn't add up.

Basically whatever your opinion on strip clubs (and against the grain I really do not have much of an issue with them if their not exploiting known addicts, paying fairly and all the women are of age) it's the customer's responsibility to behave in a way that i appropriate for whatever promises they've made back home... and the op's DH is a liar either way. He either DID enjoy it and is sorry in the light of day (most likely) or he was forced into it by peer pressure and hated every living moment (highly unlikely, most of the women in these clubs have great bodies and know how to use them). If it's the latter he would have come home guilt ridden and upset. If it's the former he should at least man up and admit he enjoyed it BUT knows it was wrong and is sorry.

More than the act I loathe the bullshit.

BUT marriage is a unit, your bed is his bed, your house is his house, no one has the right to 'kick the other out'. (I'd personally be checking into an expensive hotel, with the children and using our joint savings card/credit card, which HE would then pay for).

[countrykitten]

And yes to what YouTheCat said.

[RatPants]

Dear Men, strippers don't really like you. Neither do prostitutes. When you leave they laugh at / pity you. Hope this clears things up. Love Rat

[everythinghappensforareason]

thanks Hope, oh we have a newborn so sorry about not putting out not feeling all that sexy right now not to mention the tiredness. we had some food drinks at home with family and friends for his birthday, family left and him and friends continued drinking I had 1 glass of wine as i had our baby to mind, and a friend suggested going to the bar and i thought this was fine as he nevr goes out and it was his birthday so i stayed behind and he went, thats how it came about.

[ENormaSnob]

Why is that to me aldiwhore?

I never mentioned bjs or cheating.

[Iwantmybed]

It wouldn't be an issue for me but what's important is that it is a dealbreaker for you. It's about where your line is crossed. I feel for you OP and I'm sorry you're having to deal with this with having a newborn.

[HoHoHoNoYouDont]

Rat. So true. Unfortunately the men don't care if they're liked. They just want tits and fanny in their face and a dry hump. Classy.

[Sallystyle]

Deal breaker here too.

We both know the deal, if he was to break it then I assume he doesn't care much for our marriage.

[eatyouwithaspoon]

Paying a girl to wave her boobs in your face and grind around is sexual - it would be cheating if it was a girl he met in a bar so not sure why its different? My DP knows it would be a deal breaker for me. Its your relationship though and only you can decide if it is a deal breaker for you, I hope that you can get though it if thats what you want

[HollyBerryBush]

Oh god! Should I divorce DH???? he sent me a Chippendale-o-gram on my very raucous hen night with his and my mother, assorted old family dears in a pleasant restaurant.

clasps hand to brow< I abused a very short Australian... OMG he must have been coerced into it, colonial slave labour, I wonder who was pimping him?

[countrykitten]

That is a really dumb post HollyBerryBush - don't belittle the OP's concerns in this way.

[RatPants]

P.S. And now your wife is angry with you. Nobody wants to sleep with you.



I think that's the part I don't get HoHo. Surely they know these girls aren't attracted to them? I'd be mortified to pay some man who didn't fancy me to wave his willy in my face and simulate sex with me. Why is it different?

Sorry for the tangent op. I would not be happy at all, especially with a newborn at home. I hope this isn't the end of your marriage and he is genuinely sorry and you two manage to find a way through this.

[NumericalMum]

I hate the places and wish my DH wouldn't go, but he is a pathetic 5 year old when it comes to peer pressure and I knew that when I married him.

I seriously couldn't imagine taking my children from their father over a trip to a strip club though. [buhmm]