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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DH is a patronising tosser?

188 replies

Mawgatron · 21/02/2013 07:43

I'm pregnant and on half term. I have always had a sweet tooth, but not excessively. I've always hd a healthy weight, way within normal bmi, eat regular, home cooked healthy meals etc

On Monday, popped into school to pick some stuff up. Immediately he starts rummaging in my classroom for sweets. Found a single double decker that had been sitting there for a fortnight.

Yesterday, a friend came over to watch movies for the day. She bought pic n mix which we barely touched, and had a can of lilt with lunch (which I probably have once each school holiday.) he had a massive go at me last night, then apologised.

This morning, he has printed off 20 pages of bullshit from 'the natural pregnancy website' about how horrendous sugar is, and left them where he knew I would sit and drink my tea in the morning.

Aibu to wish he would piss off? I know he is trying to look out for me but he is really winding me up...

OP posts:
Thisisaeuphemism · 21/02/2013 07:46

I think he's worse than patronising.

What a twunt.

Petsinmypudenda · 21/02/2013 07:47

Go get a bag of sugar and a serving spoon and sit an eat it next to him

DreamingOfTheMaldives · 21/02/2013 07:49

I am pregnant and would do unspeakable things to my husband if he started having a go at me about what I was eating!

YANBU

Sugarice · 21/02/2013 07:49

He's an idiot, tell him to back off.

BuntyCollocks · 21/02/2013 07:50

Cunt. Smear chocolate cake all over your face and give him the finger.

HecateWhoopass · 21/02/2013 07:51

tell him that stress in pregnancy is FAR worse than a few sweets and ask him how he thinks you feel about him constantly attacking you and just how good he thinks that is for the baby.

he is being an ARSE.

munchkinmaster · 21/02/2013 07:52

I take DH has given up booze, pâté, cheese, caffeine, sugar for the duration? Thought not.

Tee2072 · 21/02/2013 07:53

Tell him to fuck off. Sheesh, you're making a whole person in there!

ScarletLady02 · 21/02/2013 07:54

Agree with all the others, he sounds like a (maybe well meaning but probably not) arse.

When I was pregnant I lived on milkshakes and cereal as it was all I could eat. DD was very healthy and weighed 10lbs. I put on a bit of weight but no more than is normal. I'm not saying pregnancy is an excuse to be majorly unhealthy, but as long as you eat well most of the time there really is NOTHING wrong with a few sweets.

Original poster
Mawgatron · 21/02/2013 07:57

Thanks ladies, keep em coming. I plan to show him this when he can be arsed to get out of bed.

And he is definitely not getting his usual cup of tea from me this morning...

OP posts:
Sugarice · 21/02/2013 07:59

When you say 'rummaging' in your classroom do you mean as in checking up on whether you have a stash of prohibited chocolate or wanting it for himself?

Littleturkish · 21/02/2013 08:01

WTF???

I would be fuming. Absolutely fuming.

Can't quite believe anyone has the audacity to do that.

Can you imagine the reaction if it sent you into a panic, cutting back all food, hardly eating, weighing yourself daily to check you haven't over gained during pregnancy?

What would he do then?

What a fucking prick.

Original poster
Mawgatron · 21/02/2013 08:01

Checking to see if I had a stash. Looking in desk drawers, cupboards etc. when I asked what he was doing he said 'checking'

And no, he hasn't given up ANYTHING in support if me. Despite me suggesting that he might like to try that before lecturing me.

OP posts:
Littleturkish · 21/02/2013 08:01

I wondered the same thing, sugar rice!

Yakshemash · 21/02/2013 08:04

Replace your toothpaste with golden syrup and tell him you prefer the taste.

Cheeky fucker.

Pourquoimoi · 21/02/2013 08:04

YANBU - he is. How patronising. You clearly know how to eat sensibly so does he really think you'd put your baby at risk?? Ridiculous and you need to tell him to piss off and trust you to do the sensible thing (that you already are).

Original poster
Mawgatron · 21/02/2013 08:04

He wouldn't want it for himself, because his diet is so perfect blah bla blah. And he didn't try and eat the double decker when he found it. Definitely checking to spy and be a dick...

OP posts:
Littleturkish · 21/02/2013 08:04

I think you've raised my blood pressure with that last bit of information.

Has he ever been like this before??

I can't imagine what is going through his head to behave like this.

It's probably just touched a nerve for me, but I cannot fathom why he thinks lecturing you over a can of lilt and pick and mix is helpful.

HecateWhoopass · 21/02/2013 08:04

Checking? Hmm

Tell me, what was he like before you got pregnant?

Has he changed into this person or were you getting little checks and little comments before?

It's not his place to lecture you.

And has he any idea just how damaging stressing the mother out can be? He needs to think about that before attempting to police and control you.

imnotmymum · 21/02/2013 08:05

Sorry but in my experience being pregnant gives you the god damn right to eat whatever you want!! In fact being a human being gives you the right to eat whatever you want!!
"checking" HE WAS "CHECKING!!!" I am beyond furious for you. BiscuitBiscuitBiscuit 1 to eat, one for your DH and one to throw at him

Spero · 21/02/2013 08:06

If his concern was out of love and worry for you and the baby, and was expressed as such, with offer to get you treats that weren't so sugary etc, etc, I would think, what a lovely caring man...

But THIS smacks of abusive, bullying, pompous, self satisfied PRICK of highest order. A serious talk is needed. Is this how it is going to be for the rest of your pregnancy, then the birth and then the bringing up of your child? So many areas to clash on. Will you be getting 20 pages of written instructions on best way to wean, get to sleep, breast feed etc?

Maybe it is just love and concern being expressed very clumsily. But I would be very upset and angry to be treated this way and I think you do need to talk about it.

WhatsTheBuzz · 21/02/2013 08:06

jesus, you could google virtually ANYTHING + pregnancy and you'd find
something saying it was terrible! yes, he's being an arse.

TheSmallPrint · 21/02/2013 08:06

No man would come between me and my Haribo. He is being a controlling idiot, I take it he is supporting your enforced diet by doing the same?

Mawgatron · 21/02/2013 08:07

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Hassled · 21/02/2013 08:07

Is this your first baby? Clutching at straws - any chance the sugar-twattery is a mask for general anxiety about the imminent birth/life change?

When pregnant with DS1 a million years ago (he's an adult now) at one stage I ate 6 packets of Fruit Pastilles a day. I put on 3 stone (which I then lost). No harm was done.

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