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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to let my 16mo old walk around sainsburys with me?

282 replies

Ozfrazror · 31/01/2013 13:17

Only needed 2 things and ds recently loves walking everywhere so thought he'd enjoy wandering about with me in the veg aisle. He was indeed overjoyed at getting freedom from the trolley, but by the horrified looks more than one person gave me you'd have thought I was giving him knives to carry around!

Even though he was at the top of the aisle while I was in the middle at one point, of course I had a constant eye on him. However one particular older lady just kept looking between him and me with an obvious disapproval. So WIBU?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 31/01/2013 13:20

It's up to you, he is your child after all.

But I always kept hold of my kids hands, it was second nature to really.

comingintomyown · 31/01/2013 13:20

YABU because whether you have an eye on him or not everyone else will be having to watch out for him while rushing about getting their shopping

Take him to the park Smile

WorraLiberty · 31/01/2013 13:21

And also if he was at the top of the aisle and you were in the middle, no way could you have caught him if he decided to do a bolt.

HazeltheMcWitch · 31/01/2013 13:21

Really? Erm, I guess he might have been getting in people's way. Or he was so tiny that he was hard to spot (until last minute) when pushing a trolley.

So - IMHO - fine to walk in Sainsbury's, but he should be with you, not up the aisle.

gallicgirl · 31/01/2013 13:21

Nope. I've done that a few times. DD likes to push the trolley too.
Walking doesn't happen often though because she also likes to pick up goods from the lower shelves.

Narked · 31/01/2013 13:22

It's not an appropriate place.

Patchouli · 31/01/2013 13:23

It depends if he's walking with you or is halfway up the aisle away from you.
People don't like having to feel responsible for small children - which is what happens when you're the nearest adult.

DeafLeopard · 31/01/2013 13:23

Thing is someone with a trolley load of stuff might not see him coming round a corner and could flatten him.

Floggingmolly · 31/01/2013 13:23

When he's at the top of the aisle; he's just a millisecond from being out of your sight, actually. There's nothing worse than trying to avoid running over toddlers with your trolly when you're trying to shop.

DeWe · 31/01/2013 13:24

I've let mine at that age, but you need to have a firm hand on them. I found reins very good for that sort of thing. At that size it doesn't take much for them to be accidently hit by a trolley, which can be very nasty.

forevergreek · 31/01/2013 13:24

We always walk, but holding hands. I agree it shouldn't be up to others to avoid him with trolleys/ staff have lots of supplies etc etc

BigGiantCowWithAKnockKnockTail · 31/01/2013 13:25

YANBU to let him walk rather than sit in the trolley.
YABU to let him walk that far away from you.

JacqueslePeacock · 31/01/2013 13:26

Maybe YANBU but definitely YABI (you are being insane)! I tried this last week with 16mo DS. It was carnage! He pulled all sorts of things off the shelves, got in the way of trolleys and generally caused mayhem. It culminated in a meltdown because I wouldn't let him leave the supermarket with two large bottles of cooking oil that he was trying to smuggle out (they were at least half his height so the smuggling wasn't very effective!). I won't be doing that again.

recall · 31/01/2013 13:28

YANBU...I let my children walk too, I think they are less likely to bolt if they get used to doing it, also I think they learn how to behave in public places if you allow them to be in them, and teach them how. Just ensure they don't cause a hazard.

recall · 31/01/2013 13:29

Because I have three, I taught them to hold onto the trolley, just to keep some control.

Scholes34 · 31/01/2013 13:30

All was looking good until you mentioned how far away from you he was.

Original poster
Ozfrazror · 31/01/2013 13:31

Well obviously I take him other places to walk about but I'm not irresponsible and 99% of the time he was right next to me. It was not about him being in the way or other people thinking they had to watch out for him, it seemed more that he was even allowed to walk around. He's actually my 3rd ds and I've always let them walk in public places. IME it has made all of them a lot easier to keep close by when they get older as they don't seem as desperate to run off. Each to their own but I don't think it's unreasonable, was just surprised at all the looks!

OP posts:
WelshMaenad · 31/01/2013 13:32

Where IS an appropriate place for toddlers to toddle? A padded room?

Of course YANBU. It's why they gave legs. And as long as he wasn't raising holy hell, anyone who disapproves of a small human using their legs for the purpose intended is, quite frankly, precious. And a bit mad. And VU.

Viviennemary · 31/01/2013 13:33

YABU. If it was totally quiet and hardly any shoppers then OK. But if it was busy with trollies blocking aisles and so on that was just not on. Accidently hit by a trolley and then the poor person with the trolley feels really guilty for having hurt a small child. Yes you are being totally U.

WorraLiberty · 31/01/2013 13:34

I doubt the 'look' you describe in your OP was because your toddler was out of the trolley (like many other toddlers the world over).

It was probably because you were too far away from him and other people felt uncomfortably responsible for him - being the nearest adult.

user12785 · 31/01/2013 13:34

DS still has a scar where he was hit in the face by a wire shopping basket. In Waitrose, which I have to say has the rudest posh old people I've ever met. No apology. He wasn't wandering off, he was in the pushchair at the time...

strawberrie · 31/01/2013 13:34

"AIBU?"
"Well yes a bit because XYZ"
"No I'm not"

Sorry I think once he's half an aisle away from you, there's a fair chance a toddler will take off, possibly at speed and in a random direction, and could easily get hurt or cause some damage.

Whydobabiescry · 31/01/2013 13:35

Sorry I don't think sainsburys is a great place for a baby to toddle around, he's quite likely to get bumped by a great big trolley, have his little toes crushed by a big foot or trolley wheel or pull something unsuitable like glass bottles off shelves. Just because you were halfway down the aisle I don't think you'd be able to prevent a collision with a shopper. If you want him to experience the shopping experience put him on reins or hold his hand so there's no chance of him getting in trouble. Also please try and think of the other shoppers, supermarktes aren't playgrounds they are place where people try to do their shopping in as little time as possible they shouldn't have to run the gauntlet of toddlers let loose just because their mothers thought they'd enjoy the experience.

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 31/01/2013 13:35

YANBU to have him walk with you

YWBU to let him walk that far away from you. I have witnessed (and on a few occassions almost did it myself) children that sort of age being hit by trolleys many times.

As well as that risk it only takes one second of you picking something up for him to have bolted. There have been a couple of threads on here recently about this happening and its pretty scary. I would be inclined to get some reins if he wants to walk everywhere.

Narked · 31/01/2013 13:36

If you have their hand/reins then fine. If you don't, it's a pretty stupid place to let them be half an aisle from you - people pushing loaded trolleys around the corner aren't going to be looking at 18 month old height.