Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to let my 16mo old walk around sainsburys with me?

282 replies

Ozfrazror · 31/01/2013 13:17

Only needed 2 things and ds recently loves walking everywhere so thought he'd enjoy wandering about with me in the veg aisle. He was indeed overjoyed at getting freedom from the trolley, but by the horrified looks more than one person gave me you'd have thought I was giving him knives to carry around!

Even though he was at the top of the aisle while I was in the middle at one point, of course I had a constant eye on him. However one particular older lady just kept looking between him and me with an obvious disapproval. So WIBU?

OP posts:
YouOldSlag · 31/01/2013 14:17

YABU. people are there to shop, they don't expect to have to look out for 16 mo children who are below eye level.

Just because you can make eye contact with him or see him, doesn't make it safe.

Shopping in supermarkets is stressy enough without toddlers walking about without their parents. (being able to see them doesn't count, you need to have their hand in your hand)

LabelsGalore · 31/01/2013 14:18

That's why it pisses people off - when kids get hurt, parents expecting others to apologise about their lack of supervision.

Really?? When my ds, at that age, was 'walking in the shop', if something like this had happened I would have apologized profusely to the other person for my dc to be nuisance tbh.

OP, YANBU
I have always done that with my dcs, same of the pavement etc... and got the same stare 'because children are supposed to be completely under control, holding hands, in a buggy etc...' regardless if they are an issue, there is any safety issue etc...

dizzy77 · 31/01/2013 14:21

I must admit I don't think I'd do this w 20mo DS without reins, and even then on a very quiet weekday. The supermarket is amongst THE most exciting places for his toddling (the b&q Christmas display area tops it) and I don't think I could bear all the risks.

LabelsGalore · 31/01/2013 14:22

What if someone had gone into him with a trolley because they hadn't seen him and he'd been hurt?

Well as far as I am concerned, the way I handle a trolley is MY responsibility. Be it for a toddler in the shop, an old lady who doesn't look where she going or someone who some health issue disability (such being unsteady).
Exactly in the same way that it is my responsibility to control my car when I drive. Now of course, I could argue that there should be no cyclists on the road because 'if I don't see him/her, I might hurt him/her' but who in their own mind would say that cyclists shouldn't be allowed on the road because I can't be bothered to be careful?

Toddlers are members on our society just as much as anyone else. There is no reason to restrict what they do when it's not a nuisance just because we, adults, don't want to make the effort.

LabelsGalore · 31/01/2013 14:24

Besides, toddlers do learn when they are given the opportunity to do so. whereas if they are always on a buggy/trolley, they have no such a chance and therefore still behave inappropriately in supermarket aisles

mrsjay · 31/01/2013 14:26

Toddlers are members on our society just as much as anyone else. There is no reason to restrict what they do when it's not a nuisance just because we, adults, don't want to make the effort.

WHAT so we are supposed to be looking out for free range toddlers in supermarkets just in case we might bang into 1 maybe we should let babies crawl or what about letting 4 yr old scoot along on scooters or bikes , as a parent is it a PARENTS responsibility to let their child be a part of society we cant just let kids wander randomly endangering themselves and other people, as I said before there is nothing wrong in letting a toddler toddle and explore but isn't it the parents job to keep them safe and out of the way of danger,

Narked · 31/01/2013 14:28

It's a supermarket, not soft play Hmm

Locketjuice · 31/01/2013 14:30

Yanbu my 1 year old walks everywhere just got some baby reins so I have a little control over his wandering ways! He refuses to sit in a buggy, only you know how far you can let him go before hes a hazard to others Wink its no one else's place to give you dodgy looks!

OTTMummA · 31/01/2013 14:32

Sometimes It doesn't matter how careful you are, a child racing around the corner of an aisle into a slowly moving trolley will still get hurt. There are seats on trollies for a reason.

Locketjuice · 31/01/2013 14:33

And everyone saying you should be holding hands tell my 1 year old that.... He doesn't quite agree!

Pandemoniaa · 31/01/2013 14:36

Toddlers are members on our society just as much as anyone else. There is no reason to restrict what they do when it's not a nuisance just because we, adults, don't want to make the effort.

There's every reason to keep toddlers safe. This, imho, overcomes their rights.

For example, whilst I am very encouraging of my 2 year old dgd walking around in as unrestricted a way as possible, I'm not prepared for this lack of restriction to allow her the chance to run into the road and get knocked down by a car. Even if she gets the Toddler Liberation Front onto me.

Sirzy · 31/01/2013 14:36

When a child is shorter than the trolley I am intrigued how people like labelsgalore expect someone to spot them when they run out of an aisle into the trolley?

mrsjay · 31/01/2013 14:37

I am intrigued how people like labelsgalore expect someone to spot them when they run out of an aisle into the trolley?

we have to be more vigilant Confused

plantsitter · 31/01/2013 14:37

I find the single most irritating thing about mumsnet not the sense of entitlement parents have about their kids but the sense of righteous anger people get about ridiculous things. It's a little kid walking about in the veg aisle of a supermarket. Presumably in the middle of a school/ work day. She's not letting her kids loose behind the fag counter or training them to trip up pensioners. The answer to this kind of question, op, is safety issues aside don't ask just do it. If somebody gets irritated or looses 10 seconds or of their busy day they'll have to deal with it.

mrsjay · 31/01/2013 14:38

Even if she gets the Toddler Liberation Front onto me

Grin
ilovesooty · 31/01/2013 14:39

If you were shopping I don't see now you could have had your eyes on him all the time if he was in a different part of the aisle to you.

Perfectly reasonable to let him walk but your should be holding his hand. And no, I don't "want to make the effort" to avoid free range toddlers while I'm shopping. Their parents are responsible for supervising them and keeping them safe.

plantsitter · 31/01/2013 14:40

*Loses

Locketjuice · 31/01/2013 14:40

PlantsitterGrinGrin

'Training them to trip up pension

Locketjuice · 31/01/2013 14:40

'WinkPensioners'

PeppermintPasty · 31/01/2013 14:41

I agree that it's not the safest place in the world to let them loose but, this leads me to a favourite theory rant of mine that these days, people seem to expect children to be tied in, strapped down, pushed around on wheels, and I get the feeling that some think you cannot control your children unless they are securely imprisoned in something or other.

It's become the norm which I think is sad.

I am not talking about children who need to be carried or buggied, before I get a good old flaming.

AntimonySalts · 31/01/2013 14:42

YANBU to let him walk.
YABU to not to keep him by your side and engaged with what you are doing.

Sirzy · 31/01/2013 14:43

Plantsitter have you somehow managed to miss that it's the safety issues which most people are highlighting as why it shouldnt be done? Let them walk by all means but keep them right next to you not at the other end of an aisle

atthewelles · 31/01/2013 14:45

Toddlers are members on our society just as much as anyone else. There is no reason to restrict what they do when it's not a nuisance just because we, adults, don't want to make the effort. [quote]

Are you being serious? Toddlers have no common sense and cannot just be allowed wander around busy places unrestricted forcing other people to constantly keep an eye out for them. And they are a nuisance if they're getting in people's way and wandering out in front of people's trollies.

nefertarii · 31/01/2013 14:46

This thread is funny.

Op "aibu"
Posters "yes"
Op " no I am not"

Then people talking a out toddler rights. As parents it is our job to protect our kids. Letting them wonder about where there dangers is not restricting their rights.

I assume you must let you toddlers walk at the side of main roads unrestricted as well. If they wonder in front of a car, would that be the driver at fault as well?

MrsKeithRichards · 31/01/2013 14:50

Grin @ toddler liberation front