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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to let my 16mo old walk around sainsburys with me?

282 replies

Ozfrazror · 31/01/2013 13:17

Only needed 2 things and ds recently loves walking everywhere so thought he'd enjoy wandering about with me in the veg aisle. He was indeed overjoyed at getting freedom from the trolley, but by the horrified looks more than one person gave me you'd have thought I was giving him knives to carry around!

Even though he was at the top of the aisle while I was in the middle at one point, of course I had a constant eye on him. However one particular older lady just kept looking between him and me with an obvious disapproval. So WIBU?

OP posts:
FunnysInLaJardin · 31/01/2013 16:12

atthe she didn't feel bad, she felt judged. Quite different

LaurieFairyCake · 31/01/2013 16:13

I don't mind your toddler toddling about if I can see him but if he gets twatted in the face with my handbag or a wire basket because I can't then yes, that's your problem.

And yes I will feel terrible and apologise profusely but I will still be thinking you should have held his hand.

mrsjay · 31/01/2013 16:15

Sorry, that wasn't directed at you mrsjay. I've realised it looked like it was...

I didnt really honestly Smile

Hullygully · 31/01/2013 16:16

Isn't the point of supermarkets that they have a big place to run around in?? Espec now Woolies has gone.

atthewelles · 31/01/2013 16:19

Funny I meant the people who ran into the toddler were often made to feel bad about it by the parents.

nickelbabe · 31/01/2013 16:21

YANBU

i had 3 separate people panickingly tell me that DD was escaping out of the door a few weeks ago.
she wasn't and i could see her (she was only a crawler so no way she could get far)
sometimes other people are annoying.

and yet at playgroup a couple f weeks ago, she gagged on some food, and i was at the other side of the room. and 3 mums said there and randomly commented that she had just choked on some food. pissed me off because if she actually had been choking and not just gagging, why did they say it so nonchalantly and why did noone at least try to help?
wish people would use the right words for things!

atthewelles · 31/01/2013 16:21

Well, that's true Huly. I, myself, often like to sit in the trolley and get DH to whizz me up and down the aisles. Oh, we do laugh.

mrsjay · 31/01/2013 16:23

I sometimes like to stand on the trolley and go weeeeeeeeeeeee Grin

greenpostit · 31/01/2013 16:23

I think probably YABU. I didn't let mine walk round the supermarket at that age - they always went in the trolley.

He was way too far away from you IMO. He wouldn't know to move out of the way if a trolley came round the corner quickly and was about to hit him. Sometimes staff are pushing those 6-7ft tall wire things and it would be hard for them to see a tiny child. Some people are using motorised chair (not sure if correct term) but there have been cases where children have been seriously injured by being knocked over by them in shops/shopping centres. People spill stuff in supermarkets, he could slip on it because he is not as aware as an older child/adult.

There are obviously risks to him from wandering around but also he could easily start unloading stuff from shelves and I think that it's quite bad manners to fiddle about with stuff that you clearly won't be buying and possibly cause a member of staff to have to sort the shelf out.

And for a 16mo who tried to refuse or climb out of the trolley, I would use the trolley strap and a set of reins to belt them in safely. Good idea to give them a snack to fiddle about with to keep them occupied as well.

atthewelles · 31/01/2013 16:24

Can you do wheelies MrsJay. I'm brill st those

mrsjay · 31/01/2013 16:25

knowing my luck id tip it onmyself so i just go weeee those mini trolleys are the best for it

Hullygully · 31/01/2013 16:26

I do whizz down aisles if they're empty. I htought everyone did.

Hullygully · 31/01/2013 16:27

Everyone must have hated me then when the dc were young. I let them run around and if they were in the trolley we whizzed and sometimes I spun it in circles. oh dear.

atthewelles · 31/01/2013 16:30

My dc like to play swordfights with the baguettes. I always make them put them back on the shelf when they're finished though.

FunnysInLaJardin · 31/01/2013 16:31

I see atthe and agree that if you let your child run about you take responsibility for it's behaviour.

nickel that sort of stuff really annoys me. I've had that done to me at school when other people have run after my children and I have to say They are fine, leave them alone. It's like the ultimate insult on your parenting ability! I know that he will stop at the gate like he always does and if he doesn't he has to hold my hand until he learns how to behave

FunnysInLaJardin · 31/01/2013 16:34

Hully they will have been judging you and whispering about what a bad mo fo you were. And they do it to me and I Don't Give a Shit Grin

Hullygully · 31/01/2013 17:01

FUCK EM

LabelsGalore · 31/01/2013 17:06

I had to lol at the assumptions that people are making following my comments.
So just to clarify:

  • If a child is running around in a shop (whatever the age), of course you are suppose to stop them.
  • If a child rushes out of an aisle and bump into a trolley this is the child fault
  • And the 'freedom' that you give to a child is clearly limited by his own ability to not put himself into a dangerous situation.

Having said all that, I maintain that there is no reason at all to have all toddlers in a trolley/buggy/reins on the grounds that some/most toddlers would run around.
And that it's your responsibility to be in control of your trolley. You can't just say 'oh I didn't see her' because you weren't that careful.

NaturalBaby · 31/01/2013 17:12

'Because he's your third DC you'll be more blasé, I'm willing to bet. ' I'm actually more attentive with my 3rd.

The other end of a supermarket aisle is still close enough to intervene if a toddler is about to get into trouble. I have many, many examples of when I've been further than arms reach from my toddler(s) and intervened to keep them safe/out of people's way/stop them breaking things.

The anti-toddling brigade are just fueling my 'don't give a shit' fire.

Sirzy · 31/01/2013 17:14

But often you won't see them. Surely thats not hard to understand. You have a full trolley and therefore you can't see things infront of that trolley which are smaller than the trolley.

And why SHOULD i have to watch for small uncontrolled children when I am shopping? I am busy making sure my son doesn't get in peoples way and trying to do my shopping.

LouMae · 31/01/2013 17:16

Honestly when I'm shopping I get deeply engrossed in what's on the aisles and thinking about what I need. I don't always pay much attention to who's in the aisle, I avoid adults and trolleys because they are big enough to catch out of the corner of my eye. I'm the sort who could easily flatten a rogue toddler who was half an aisle away from their parent.

specialsubject · 31/01/2013 17:17

if it is quiet and he is within reach, it's fine. Otherwise no. Supermarket, not playground.

still, better than a DIY store where there is lots of lovely dangerous stuff to pick up and heavy stuff to pull down. Saw that recently, took two near-misses before the woman finally picked the kid up. AFTER I had gently relieved him of the table lamp with which he was about to hit himself in the face.

ilovesooty · 31/01/2013 17:32

And why SHOULD i have to watch for small uncontrolled children when I am shopping?

Exactly. If I've got a full trolley I'm not expecting to have to look near floor level just in case some toddler not under proper supervision is roaming around.

fluffyraggies · 31/01/2013 17:46

YABU. Your first responsibility as a parent is to keep your child safe. Not to use them on some crusade to make the world child friendly.

Not giving a shit about what others think or might do is not the attitude i'd want from someone in charge of my safety. Do you drive like this too??

What on earth is all this about children wont learn to use their legs or learn to interact with others unless we let them roam as they please rather than strap them in buggies like the 'old days'? Children are being treated like a nuisance?

I bet most of the posters on here were in the trolly or the buggy in the supermarket when they were little. I was. My DCs were. Amazingly I and they have managed to grow up capable of shopping and interacting with people AND more importantly have respect for others because we weren't bought up thinking the world must revolve around us.

maisiejoe123 · 31/01/2013 17:46

A couple of months ago I was on my own pushing a trolley and I guess a 2-3 year old came haring around the corner and banged her face into my trolley causing a nasty mark and of course tears. I just froze even though I knew it wasnt my fault.

The father came striding up, bent down to speak to his son and basically told him thats what happens when you run around. I told you not to do this and this is what happens when you decide to run off on your own.

Tbh - I think he gave the right reaction. A supermarket is not a playground.