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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to let my 16mo old walk around sainsburys with me?

282 replies

Ozfrazror · 31/01/2013 13:17

Only needed 2 things and ds recently loves walking everywhere so thought he'd enjoy wandering about with me in the veg aisle. He was indeed overjoyed at getting freedom from the trolley, but by the horrified looks more than one person gave me you'd have thought I was giving him knives to carry around!

Even though he was at the top of the aisle while I was in the middle at one point, of course I had a constant eye on him. However one particular older lady just kept looking between him and me with an obvious disapproval. So WIBU?

OP posts:
FunnysInLaJardin · 31/01/2013 13:38

YANBU. I do this with DS2 and have done for a couple of years - he is nearly 3. Provided you can see him, he'll be fine. I'm sure I get all sorts of looks, but because I don't care what other people think I don't notice them Grin

HazeltheMcWitch · 31/01/2013 13:38

Toddlers dart about, and laden trolleys are big, heavy and can be hard to steer. It is just not a good combination.

mrsjay · 31/01/2013 13:38

i think it is nice to see toddlers well toddle Grin but what if somebody had whacked him with a basket or fell over him by all means let him toddle beside you but dont let him wander its a safety thing really especially in a supermarket

mrsjay · 31/01/2013 13:42

It was probably because you were too far away from him and other people felt uncomfortably responsible for him - being the nearest adult.

what worra said Grin how many people have had heart in mouth moments when a young child is not with a parent I once saw a man in a shop whack a little girls head with a basket while her mum was trying to reach tins, a complete accident but it was awful to see

pettyprudence · 31/01/2013 13:42

I did this too op and never got any funny looks! He would wonder off down the aisle a bit, but even then we were still in eye contact and only a few meters away! Obviously this is not something I would do on a busy saturday but on a quite mid-week morning, I can't see the harm... At 21 months I now give him "tasks" so that he is to busy to lob EVERYTHING in to the trolley Grin

Angelfootprints · 31/01/2013 13:45

Your brave! I let dd aged 14 months walk around the local shop to grab some milk. It was a horrible experience I refuse to repeat again for a long time.

goodygumdrops · 31/01/2013 13:46

I think it depends on how busy the shop is. Fine to let him walk but I always hold my little ones hand or use her backpack reigns (sorry MN haters!). If it was very quiet a few steps ahead would be ok i think.

mrsjay · 31/01/2013 13:46

FWIW there is nothing wrong in you allowing him to walk but that is why you probably got a funny look I let mine walk and pick up and lob in the trolley but they really do need to be within grabbing distance ime

miaowmix · 31/01/2013 13:47

The whole world is not a giant playground for your toddler, so yabu.
Why not just hold his hand? Not only is it potentially dangerous for him, it could also be for other people, not to mention completely irritating.
THis ridiculous sense of entitlement from people with very young children and babies is the single most nauseating thing about Mumsnet.

Scholes34 · 31/01/2013 13:47

When I'm pushing my trolley round the supermarket, I'm not on the alert for stray toddlers. If you've a constant eye on your DS, that won't stop and accident with a trolley if he's off down the other end of the aisle. You're not being considerate of the other shoppers.

atthewelles · 31/01/2013 13:49

I hate seeing toddlers apparently unattended in supermarkets or shopping centres. It isn't always obvious that their mother or father is nearby watching them and I'm never sure if they've wandered off and end up standing there keeping an eye on them, looking around to see if there's anybody with them and wondering if I'll be accused of child abduction if I approach them to see if they're okay.
Even worse is when the parent comes up, glares at you and snatches the child's hand. Angry

picklechops · 31/01/2013 13:49

Yanbu provided the shop wasn't too busy. I do it with DS 21 months all the time. If I know it's going to be particularly quiet at the shop and hubby is with me, I even let him take his mini trolley. He loves shopping with me and helping take things off the shelf. Ignore rude looks.

WorraLiberty · 31/01/2013 13:52

Actually mobility scooters are what scare me. They weigh a ton and can go quite fast.

I saw a toddler hit by one and her leg got quite badly mangled Sad

It wasn't the driver's fault, the child just ran straight into her path at very close range.

Sirzy · 31/01/2013 13:53

So you let him wander off in a supermarket? Fine as long as you don't mind him getting lost and more importantly don't shout at people when they inevitably crash into him with their trolley full of shopping.

Letting a child walk somewhere like that is fine as long as they are holding hands or right by your side at all times.

cantspel · 31/01/2013 13:53

By all means allow your toddler to wander freely through the fruit and veg but dont moan when i or some other shopper knock him flying as we cant see him over are fully loaded trolley.

I always pick up my fruit and veg last so it doesn't get squashed by the weight of the rest of the shopping. I am not looking for stray toddlers but have my eyes on the price labels as i see if they loose mushrooms work out cheaper than the value ones. Would be very easy for me to take a chunk out of his head with the side of my trolley.

Squitten · 31/01/2013 13:54

YABU to let him wander around by himself, even if you could see him. Other people won't be able to see him and, more importantly, won't be looking for him until they crash into him with their trolley. It also only takes half a second for jars or bottles to hit the floor.

I always encouraged my older son to walk around the shop but he held onto the basket and was "helping" me so we're always searching for something specific and he wasn't allowed to go off on his own. I was purely concerned with other people hitting him with trolleys. He's 4 now and really good in the shops.

minibmw2010 · 31/01/2013 13:59

YABU ... What if someone had gone into him with a trolley because they hadn't seen him and he'd been hurt? Would you consider that their fault, his or yours ???

I've been that person pushing the trolley where a little boy (maybe 2 or so) ran around a corner, straight into the corner of my very slow moving trolley and sliced his nose open, blood everywhere. I felt absolutely awful even though I'd been barely moving and couldn't have seen him, the mum clearly blamed me as she was biting her tongue and shooting me dirty looks but frankly none of that was my fault, it was hers for not keeping him close/under control. I remember it now I have a DS myself ... Sad

valiumredhead · 31/01/2013 13:59

I get very twitchy when I see toddlers anywhere near me, my balance is shot to bits and I'm always worried I'll knock into them.

I agree about banging into him with a trolley as well.

Let him run at the park.

mrsjay · 31/01/2013 14:02

@ valium me too

Pandemoniaa · 31/01/2013 14:04

YANBU in letting him walk around a supermarket. Especially if you were holding his hand or keeping him very close indeed. But where was he and what was he doing for the 1% of the time he wasn't right next to you? Only I'd be a tad surprised to find a 16 month old wandering round on his own. Supermarkets aren't playgrounds and there are all sorts of unexpected hazards.

mrsjay · 31/01/2013 14:05

MY dd nearly dropped a few baskets on a little boys hands as he was wandering about the self scan where she was working she said wheres your mummy mummy was browsing the sale items,

5madthings · 31/01/2013 14:07

Letting him walk in the supermarket if he stays next to you within a grab able distance fine, letting him wander off not fine for reasons already mentioned on this thread.

MrsKeithRichards · 31/01/2013 14:08

I'd feel fucking awful if I knocked a tot over with a fully loaded wobbly wheeled trolley.

Cosmosim · 31/01/2013 14:11

I saw a dad turn his head for a sec at checkout aisle and his little girl bolted, smacking face first into a loaded trolley. The dad gave the other person a filthy look (he was obviously expecting an apology) leaving the other poor shopper to loudly protest "she ran into the trolley - I didn't even have time to move!" That's why it pisses people off - when kids get hurt, parents expecting others to apologise about their lack of supervision.

NatashaBee · 31/01/2013 14:14

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