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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

... to be tired of the Goady Fuckers?

370 replies

MmeLindor · 31/01/2013 10:00

Is it just me or has there been an increase in goady thread derailing in the last couple of weeks? It seems even the most innocuous of threads are being deliberately diverted by posters who only post offensive or ridiculous comments then refuse to back down.

Here's what I use MN for:

Fun
Support
Advice
Chat
Activism and feminism
Bloggers chat
Politics

Not to have arguments with Goady Fuckers who are sitting at home delighted to have got us all off topic.

A lot of threads I've been on in the past few days have been taken completely off topic or detailed. Have we been invaded MNHQ or is it the work of a couple of fuckwits individuals?

Who wants to join me in an Anti Goady Fucker Campaign?

I vote that when someone tries to derail a thread that we all ignore and do a mass report to MNHQ. They are fed up hearing from me in the past weeks.

OP posts:
shutthebloodydoor · 04/02/2013 11:17

oh lord just carnt help them selfs!

Hullygully · 04/02/2013 11:17

I never got a chance to get involved on the nameshame thread by the poster with a very high numerical name. Wot I wanted to get on and say (had I not been locked in the cellar), was that it was just her obsession with unfairness and MNHQ in general and what she sees as unfair treatment. The only thing I was upset about is that I have been very understanding with her difficulties.

But she is consistent. And not a GF or anything.

LtEveDallas · 04/02/2013 11:20

Some people have very strong opinions which sound like they are the oracle when they have no substance to back it with

The DogHouse threads get like that a lot GetOrf. There are a number of Vets/Behaviourists/Rescuers on there that post specific answers, but when the answers are not what the OP or other posters want to hear it gets very heated Grin. Especially when OP is being told "Phone the RSPCA" or "Rehome the dog" - and it's not as easy as that

fuckadoodlepoopoo · 04/02/2013 11:21

Hullys back! Did you escape?

Maryz · 04/02/2013 11:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

trustissues75 · 04/02/2013 11:25

I've not noticed...and I'm glad I haven't...must have missed those threads.

TrampyPants · 04/02/2013 11:27

Hully, you and I are clearly Very Important Wink

Although posters who consistently post threads that turn into bunfights are graders.

TrampyPants · 04/02/2013 11:28

Goaders. Not graders.

DYAC

Pagwatch · 04/02/2013 11:28

I rescued Hully. I have a cape and everything!

Maryz · 04/02/2013 11:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LtEveDallas · 04/02/2013 11:30

After having been sniped at for posting something that I didn't post, with no way of defending myself because the thread had been deleted, I've started doing a quick C&P of threads that I know are about to go pouf.

I've noticed that a lot of posters (new and old) go onto "whatever happend to the thread..." and re-write history, and those threads then end up in bun fights. I tend to steer clear of TaaT's because of it. I think I'm more sensitive to passive aggressive posts as well these days, when before I would have just thought of them as sarcastic.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 04/02/2013 11:33

I don't think I'm a goady fucker by a long way - I do try to support the OP on a thread and any others who look like they need some support.

However you mentioned derailing as well and I just wanted to stand up for those of us who can't always resist an interesting tangent (indeed my NN for a while was JugglingWithTangentialOranges)

Some of us just have flighty minds, but we don't mean any harm Smile

FloatyBeatie · 04/02/2013 11:33

The discussions of controversial threads on subsequent threads are usually incredibly inaccurate. It is astonishing to see how much people distort things -- in their own mind as well as in their accounts to others.

Maryz · 04/02/2013 11:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pagwatch · 04/02/2013 11:35

Plus, once a topic becomes complicated everyone gets uber suspicious.
On my 'let my Hully go' thread someone posted along the lines of 'assuming that this thread is actually just about Hully being allowed to post again.'

It did make me laugh that we are so swamped in agendas and sniping that I can post 'I don't wantto argue the ins and outs but can Hully come back' and suddenly there is an agenda or it's about something else.

I'm actually not that clever.

IamtheZombie · 04/02/2013 11:40

Your suggestion is a good one, Maryz.

Lock the thread.

MNHQ put up a post saying "This thread has been locked because . It will be left up for x amount of time / until xx.xx hours tomorrow so that everyone has a chance to see our reasons. At that time it will be deleted. In accordance with our usual policy any subsequent threads asking where it went will immediately be deleted as a Thread About a Thread".

At the specified time, the thread goes poof!

LtEveDallas · 04/02/2013 11:46

but often it is people re-hashing it to their own advantage

Oh yes, the one that started me off quoted me as saying almost the complete opposite to what I had actually said. And a number of posters had jumped in with "I didn't realise that MM had said that, how awful, what a horrible thing to say" etc etc. When I then posted protesting the original poster took great delight in whipping up the frenzy with lots of "Well you WOULD say that wouldn't you" "We all know your true self now" type bollocks.

I think a locked thread would be a good idea too, although I'm quite happy doing what I am doing - It does make me look at a number of posters like Hmm now though.

GetOrf · 04/02/2013 11:51

The problem is that deleted threads end up in a chinese whispers mentality - and when they are gone nobody can argue what was said because there is no proof.

I remember that hideous thread where everyone was being accused of being anti-lesbian, where someone posted something utterly vile about underage girls. The thread was deleted but spawned a load of offshoots about how x was terribly bullied and 'hounded off' mumsnet, it was forgotten that x had posted some terrible things. All the people who argued with her were recast as homophobic bullies.

TrampyPants · 04/02/2013 11:54

Getorf, that was just fucking horrible.

RandallPinkFloyd · 04/02/2013 12:42

I think it can be hard to tell what's prolonged GF'ing and what's just an unfortunate mindset IYSWIM.

The obvious GF's are pretty easy to spot but the persistent ones I find much harder to suss out. Some posters do, it seems, have fixations regarding certain subjects. They seem to be so fixated on one thing that they perceive every thread to be a thinly veiled attempt to discredit their obsession of the moment.

I'm not making much sense because I'm not particularly bright and am shit with words Blush but I know what I mean!

I also think it's a fine line between calling people out on their bullshit and scaring the crap out of newbies. When I was new, just over 3 years ago now, I saw a lot of what looked like ganging up and bullying. It did make me very wary of posting and gave me an opinion on certain posters.

I stuck with it and over time found that actually the people I thought looked like bully's were just as reasonable as most other posters so I pretty much forgot about it. I found out about 6 months ago that the person I thought was being bullied was actually a total cow and deserved everything that was said to her.

The point is as an outsider I didn't know that and it really put me off MN for a while and gave me a bad impression of the wrong people.

I absolutely think we should all say something if we don't like what's being said but I do think it's important to try and be as measured as possible and to step away if we feel ourselves getting sucked in. I freely admit however that's its a lot easier said than done! I've never lost my rag on here ever, not me guv

I spoke up on a thread not long ago because at the time I didn't like the way it was going and felt that some posters were going over the top. I didn't agree with the OP one bit (and in all honesty did do an internal eye-roll at the whole thing) but that wasn't the point.

I've seen things since that have changed my view of it somewhat but I honestly think it was the right thing to do at the time. Mainly because to people who didn't know the back-story it didn't show anyone in a good light.

Anyway, the long and short of that ramble is that I think people should feel confident in challenging anything they see but they should try and do it in as balanced a way as possible.

I also think a lot of us seriously underestimate MNHQ and what goes on behind the scenes. We only see a fraction of what they do.

Thumbwitch · 04/02/2013 12:44

MmeL - I wonder if you can answer me this one then - if someone posts something about theiry heinous relationship and how shit it is, and then a poster comes on and tells them in no uncertain terms that in fact they should look at themselves and how much of it is their fault ("victim" blaming) - then do they qualify as goady fuckers? Regardless of posting history? Or are they just being horribly insensitive?

I'd like to be clear so I don't overuse my newly-energised reporting finger

TrampyPants · 04/02/2013 12:47

Thumbwitch, I would report tbh, just togive MNHQ a heads up.

Good point Randall.

FloatyBeatie · 04/02/2013 12:53

Horribly insensitive, not GF, would be my guess.

I've been on threads started by women who are facing domestic violence and are reticent about leaving her partner where a particular poster has become angry with the woman facing the violence and talked a lot about the damage she is doing to her children by not leaving. Insensitive, I'd say, but it was clearly the consequence of some awfully difficult times she had as a child when her own mother was living with violence. She was simply stating her view, and it was a "victim-blaming" one, but it was sincerely held and deserving of audience and sympathy. The problem was that she was expressing it on threads where a vulnerable woman needed support. I think that in her view what she was saying was supportive, in a tough love kind of a way. But to others it seemed very disruptive. You can't fairly make hostile labels to cover that kind of case.

(I'm not talking about any recent thread btw -- I didn't see the thread that was being discussed here this morning. I'm talking about very old threads)

Thumbwitch · 04/02/2013 12:57

I know the type of post you're talking about Beatie, and this wasn't one of them. It was definitely a "you sound like a bitch, you should look at your contribution to the problems in your marriage" type of post.

I did, Trampy, just to be on the safe side. But I'd still like MmeL's take on it.

Pagwatch · 04/02/2013 13:04

I can't speak for mmelinor but I wouldn't class that one post as a goady fucker.
I would report it and it is horrible, but not trollish/goady

Trollish/goady would be 'well I know others will tell you x. You just want to hear what you want. There are previous incidents like this. I guess some of you don't care about your children. I'm off to start a thread about how some of you don't like children. Why do you let people abuse your children Sad I note that on here a lot ..' ad nauseum. Plus new thread about child hating mners. Etc etc