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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not understand why people blame their dc for lack of sex

150 replies

BabysPointlessPocket · 08/01/2013 17:58

Seriously, I can't!
Is it just an easy excuse for women to use when they can't be bothered?
I have young dc, one also that I bf'd. It never affected my sex drive.
Maybe its just me and I shouldn't speak for others.

OP posts:
minibmw2010 · 08/01/2013 17:58

No you shouldn't.

TaggieCampbellBlack · 08/01/2013 18:00

No. You really shouldn't.

glenthebattleostrich · 08/01/2013 18:00

It's not lack of sex drive, more the fact I'm bloody knackered and DD doesn't really sleep ever much and we have no babysitters nearby to take her off our hands.

Sirzy · 08/01/2013 18:00

Maybe its just me and I shouldn't speak for others.

This

TaggieCampbellBlack · 08/01/2013 18:00

Small house.

Thin walls.

Insomniac teenagers.

SneakyNuts · 08/01/2013 18:00

Take your own advice.

Devora · 08/01/2013 18:01

I'm happy for you, but can you really not understand the cumulative impact of chronic sleep deprivation, lack of sleep, stitches, stress, having your body colonised by small children?

Individual sexual desire varies; so do the degree to which people are affected by all the above. I completely believe that your sex drive is intact; I also find it easy to understand how others' take a dip.

BlackAffronted · 08/01/2013 18:02

You are right, you shouldn't. Whoo[ee for you & your stealth boast.

I take it you dont have children who co-sleep, or who frequently wake up?

Or teenagers that stay up later than you do and have the room next to yours?

I take it you get the perfect amount of sleep and you arent stressed?

EnglishGirlApproximately · 08/01/2013 18:02

No you shouldn't speak for others, things affect people in different ways. I have unintentionally ended up co-sleeping as ds goes nuts if he has to sleep alone and screams until he's sick. It puts a bit of a dampener on things tbh.

KenLeeeeeee · 08/01/2013 18:02
StuntGirl · 08/01/2013 18:03

YY to previous posters.

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 08/01/2013 18:03

I blame dc because it sounds better than "I can't be arsed", or admitting I haven't trimmed my bikini line since the summer.
Blaming dc allows me to dodge responsibilities. I haven't cleaned the windows for a year either. Too busy with dc...

SneakyNuts · 08/01/2013 18:03

Why did you go from "people" in your title, to "women" in your post?

PoppyWearer · 08/01/2013 18:04

Please go and read the long-running thread in General Health about prolapses, fissures and the like and then almost all of the threads in Sleep, and a few in Childbirth to top it off.

Then you may understand.

Birdsgottafly · 08/01/2013 18:04

Sex drive can be dictated by hormones, so what don't you understand exactly? Unless that is a revelation to you, did you not read any pregnancy and "post birth" books, then?

WorraLiberty · 08/01/2013 18:04

Yeah you shouldn't speak for others on this subject or you're likely to make yourself come across as an enormous twat.

HTH

baremadness · 08/01/2013 18:04

Yep lucky you

MurderOfGoths · 08/01/2013 18:05

You might want to work on your powers of deduction and reasoning. Might come in useful before making daft comments.

HTH

wonkylegs · 08/01/2013 18:05

Between the lack of sleep (nighttime waking, nightmares, sleepwalking and early starts) and the lack of privacy & daytime alone time, our sex life has taken a hit. It's not lack of sex drive (that very much alive thanks) but lack of opportunity! Not all kids fault (job pressures too) and it's not just sex that's taken a hit (reading, hobbies, pampering)
Now give us a weekend away alone and it would be a different story!

WaynettaSlobsLover · 08/01/2013 18:06

No offence but that's one of the stupidest most smug and insensitive things I think I've ever read. You have one dc love. Good for you it didn't affect your sex drive. I would don the flame proof suit because you are going to need it.

ginhag · 08/01/2013 18:06
OddBoots · 08/01/2013 18:08

Mine caused no problem until they were old enough to stay up later and to know what the creaks and bangs might mean. Hmm

ginhag · 08/01/2013 18:08

Btw I can't be bothered trying to explain the ways kids can affect your sex life because you are way too fucking smug for it to be worth it

tomverlaine · 08/01/2013 18:08

YABU
Agree with what most of the others have said.its not a simply a matter of sex drive- the practicalities of DC who don't sleep or co-sleep just remove the opportunity

PessaryPam · 08/01/2013 18:08

Is this some form of stealth boasting that I haven't come across before? Seems that way.