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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not understand why people blame their dc for lack of sex

150 replies

BabysPointlessPocket · 08/01/2013 17:58

Seriously, I can't!
Is it just an easy excuse for women to use when they can't be bothered?
I have young dc, one also that I bf'd. It never affected my sex drive.
Maybe its just me and I shouldn't speak for others.

OP posts:
MurderOfGoths · 08/01/2013 18:10

Sod all stealth about it Pessary!

ArielThePiraticalMermaid · 08/01/2013 18:10

I don't even have children but I can see what a moronic OP this was.

Jog on, OP. Go and have sex in your perfect life.

TaggieCampbellBlack · 08/01/2013 18:10

I shall boast too.

I had a shag last November 2nd.

So ner.

MrsAFlowerpot · 08/01/2013 18:11

YABU. Very.

I have an insomniac unless in our bed 3yo DD. Work full time and have a long commute. I dont even know if I can face eastenders each evening never mind anything else!

Original poster
BabysPointlessPocket · 08/01/2013 18:12

It has affected how often we have sex, but it didn't stop for months/years on end like many posts I read on here.
It just makes me wonder, I was just asking why, that's all, is it an excuse or genuine.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 08/01/2013 18:13

It just makes me wonder, I was just asking why, that's all, is it an excuse or genuine.

Ahh so you're a nosey fucker?

LaurieBlueBell · 08/01/2013 18:14

I have 4 between ages 5 and 12. They don't interfere too much.

However DD1 age 24 moved back home in November. Our house instantly became a sex free zone. I can't bear the thought of her hearing us Blush.

She's moving out in February so normal service can be resumed.

Our sex life was pretty dire up until the youngest was about 4 though. It's bloody hard when you are knackered/BF/co-sleeping etc so lucky you op if you've cracked it.

Posterofapombear · 08/01/2013 18:14

YABU. It wasn't so much DD that scuppered my sex life but the doctor who shoved her back up me without pain relief so they could do a EMCS.

Being fisted by a stranger in a roomful of people puts you off a bit.

But good for you on your fab sex life

sittinginthesun · 08/01/2013 18:14

Taggie - we tried to about two weeks ago. DS1 wandered in, looking sleepy, after a nightmare (2am!!!). DH shrugged, and DS1 climbed into bed with us.

EnjoyResponsibly · 08/01/2013 18:15

In our class at school we used to say that those who talked about it weren't getting it.

Just sayin.

curiousuze · 08/01/2013 18:16

It boggles me the things that make people feel superior.

curiousuze · 08/01/2013 18:17

Also a small mammal chewing on your tits 12 hours a day can get in the way of shagging pretty effectively

Hobbitation · 08/01/2013 18:18

Children have a sixth sense of when parents are horny and tend to rush into the bedroom at the most inopportune moments. Still waiting for a lock on the door.

Is it just an easy excuse for women to use when they can't be bothered?

What about men who can't be bothered? Would rather watch porn? Are stressed and tired? Who don't have a high sex drive?

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 08/01/2013 18:20

Obviously a woman who is suffering from PND for example should just snap out of it and get on with some bedroom activity Hmm

If you have child that sleeps well, your experience will be different from someone whose child doesn't sleep well.

If you have a supportive partner who does their fair share you might have more inclination towards having sex than if you have a partner who takes you for granted and doesn't pull their weight.

Maybe its just me and I shouldn't speak for others
I agree with this bit of your post!

Binkyridesagain · 08/01/2013 18:20

Don't you know hobbitation that men are always up for it, that's all they think about, so it must be the wimmin who CBA

Hobbitation · 08/01/2013 18:21

I wish.

ididnt · 08/01/2013 18:21

that's one of the stupidest most smug and insensitive things I think I've ever read

^^This. YABU.

tethersend · 08/01/2013 18:21

Get fucked then Grin

JessicaMLH · 08/01/2013 18:21

Slow clapping

YABU

Congrats on your sex life.

DP and I have relatively frequent sex, but MUCH MUCH less than before I had DD. And now it's a rare occurrence thanks to pregnancy hormones and MS.

Also, after having DD I didn't have sore stitches (was a c sec), and only had one child. There are a thousand and one things that could have affected me, as they do lots of women, anything from PND to prolapse or massive tearing, 2 or 3 or 10 other children, or even teenagers in the next room. Do you not have any other friends who are parents to shed light on this??

JessicaMLH · 08/01/2013 18:23

Children have a sixth sense of when parents are horny and tend to rush into the bedroom at the most inopportune moments.

^this sums up my entire sex life

SneakyNuts · 08/01/2013 18:23

tether Grin

Groovee · 08/01/2013 18:24

YABU

I had a child who slept well and we had a good sex life. Then came child number 2 who didn't sleep for 3.6 years! Everytime dh looked my way, ds woke up. The only time we got sex was when Granny had the kids.

Twattybollocks · 08/01/2013 18:25

Bully for you, so pleased that neither birth nor bf affected you at all. Me personally, having a fanjo like ground beef for 6 months, and a baby who was never off the breast, I would rather just have slept, which is exactly what I did.

JessicaMLH · 08/01/2013 18:25

Stupid phone messed up my post...:

Children have a sixth sense of when parents are horny and tend to rush into the bedroom at the most inopportune moments.

^this sums up my entire sex life

NcNcNcNc · 08/01/2013 18:27

twat