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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how sex can be "unnatural"? TMI alert

142 replies

PepsiCoco · 05/01/2013 00:44

Been with DP just over 12 months, we only ever have sex in the missionary position. I have tried to instigate other things but he somehow manages to veto them.
Normally I sleep in his arms but last night I wanted more space and turned over to sleep. DP snuggled in to the back of me and used this as a perfect opportunity to take control and put DPs thing in from behind. It wasn't going particularly well but DP didn't move away. But just as it seemed to be getting in the right place DC woke up and needed tending to.
When I returned, DP got on top as usual and said "this is better, that other way was unnatural" Confused

OP posts:
InNeedOfBrandy · 05/01/2013 00:46

God how boring. You need to get on top and ride it like a rodeo horse.

thornrose · 05/01/2013 00:47

DP's "thing" how old are you?

abbierhodes · 05/01/2013 00:51

"It wasn't going particularly well but DP didn't move away" Erm...consent? If a man posted that he'd be crucified!

Original poster
PepsiCoco · 05/01/2013 00:52

That's where I am going wrong I can't form the words to tell DP I want something different.

OP posts:
Casmama · 05/01/2013 00:53

Write it down then and give him a note.

thornrose · 05/01/2013 00:53

Is he your first partner Pepsi?

InNeedOfBrandy · 05/01/2013 00:53

Don't tell him get on top and show him.

TrippingTheLifeFantastic · 05/01/2013 00:53

It's easy to form - penis. See? Simple! :)

Empross76 · 05/01/2013 00:54

Has he got hang ups about sex, as far as you can see? Other than this 'unnatural' comment, obviously!

Original poster
PepsiCoco · 05/01/2013 00:54

Consent? DP was pushing it in to me. Are you implying I forced him somehow?

OP posts:
Casmama · 05/01/2013 00:55

Spooning position is not always easy if you aren't used to it - coordinating movement can be tricky.
Try going on top, put the lights out if you feel self-conscious to begin with.

Original poster
PepsiCoco · 05/01/2013 00:56

No not my first.
I'm not sure about hang ups. I think more he believes its his role to be in control. OMG how sexist does that sound but sadly true I suspect.

OP posts:
abbierhodes · 05/01/2013 00:56

You don't have to physically force someone, if they are not willing then it is NOT GOOD. I repeat, if a man posted that on here he'd be flamed.

abbierhodes · 05/01/2013 00:56

You don't have to physically force someone, if they are not willing then it is NOT GOOD. I repeat, if a man posted that on here he'd be flamed.

Feelingood · 05/01/2013 00:56

No did you consent to sex?

InNeedOfBrandy · 05/01/2013 00:57

So do you never ever ever have sex apart from him on top in bed?

Casmama · 05/01/2013 00:57

If that is the case and you are happy with it the doggie style might be worth a try. I'm not sure where the implied lack of consent came from- I didn't get that from your posts.

Original poster
PepsiCoco · 05/01/2013 00:58

I did try to suggest something different and got met with "no two times are ever the same" Confused bloody feels like it to me!

OP posts:
thornrose · 05/01/2013 00:59

I'm not sure it's really sexist, more just the way he's got used to?

Original poster
PepsiCoco · 05/01/2013 01:00

Exactly Brandy and from they way he seems suggesting doggy would give him a coronary.

OP posts:
TheFallenNinja · 05/01/2013 01:00

Perhaps he's not sure how good his A game is so stays away from the tried and trusted. It's a toughie to talk about particularly if its never really been discussed or if the initiation has changed from one to the other over time.

I guess any talk of change might be received as criticism?

Casmama · 05/01/2013 01:01

It sounds like the issue is that he is not that interested in what you want but rather sees sex as a means to an end ie. an orgasm for him regardless of your enjoyment - is that a fair representation?

Original poster
PepsiCoco · 05/01/2013 01:01

When I was touching him he stopped me and I said I was enjoying that but he looked confused and climbed on top.

OP posts:
Original poster
PepsiCoco · 05/01/2013 01:03

Cas yes only I Blush have faked it too many times so he believes I do enjoy it like that.

OP posts:
Casmama · 05/01/2013 01:03

How much do you enjoy your sex life?