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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wonder how sex can be "unnatural"? TMI alert

142 replies

PepsiCoco · 05/01/2013 00:44

Been with DP just over 12 months, we only ever have sex in the missionary position. I have tried to instigate other things but he somehow manages to veto them.
Normally I sleep in his arms but last night I wanted more space and turned over to sleep. DP snuggled in to the back of me and used this as a perfect opportunity to take control and put DPs thing in from behind. It wasn't going particularly well but DP didn't move away. But just as it seemed to be getting in the right place DC woke up and needed tending to.
When I returned, DP got on top as usual and said "this is better, that other way was unnatural" Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
PepsiCoco · 05/01/2013 16:58

Aww girly that sounds dire.

OP posts:
Mia4 · 05/01/2013 19:06

Did he mean unnatural or did he mean 'uncomfortable' and 'doesn't work' or 'doesn't turn me on?'

Sounds like you need to be me open OP: get on top, get him to take you doggy, get a karma sutra to show him a whole 'verse of positions? Use vibes maybe as well if clitoral stimulation gets you off more then PV sex?

You also need to stop faking it, you can always say it's just not working for you any more and want to try something new or you can just stop faking and tell him what's wrong.

Mia4 · 05/01/2013 19:07

Girly why don't you just leave anyway? Better to be single and looking and make love to yourself then be coupled and unhappy, resentful and unsatisfied.

Mia4 · 05/01/2013 19:12

*more open even

strumpetpumpkin · 05/01/2013 19:13

dump him. Thats going to get very boring, very quickly. Tell him

curiousuze · 05/01/2013 19:15

He sounds like Mark from Peep Show

Original poster
PepsiCoco · 05/01/2013 19:54

Never seen it.

OP posts:
Lucy411 · 05/01/2013 20:00

Get him pissed and ride it :)

Kundry · 05/01/2013 20:13

Stop faking - you may need to phase it out but somehow he needs to learn that women don't generally come from penis in vagina sex. Unfortunately your faking hasn't helped him!

I didn't exactly fake, but when I started going out with my now DH I did exaggerate a bit when he was heading in the right direction.

However I also made no encouragement at all when something just wasn't doing it for me - end result was that both of us (and frankly we were both as rubbish as each other) now have a lovely time Wink

MotherOfNations · 05/01/2013 21:51

Is your partner from another culture? I only ask as my ex husband was like this until I trained him. I know it's difficult if you've been faking to suddenly stop but you really have to.
You have to talk with him but it'd probably best to ha e this kind of discussion away from the bedroom.

AnyFucker · 05/01/2013 21:52

Some people's sex lives are really fucking grim. Sad

Original poster
PepsiCoco · 05/01/2013 22:04

It never used to be! This is a new one on me

OP posts:
MotherOfNations · 05/01/2013 22:12

Probably not helpful but I've just asked my Dp his opinion and he said "Dump him".

AnyFucker · 05/01/2013 22:14

that is a completely normal reaction by your dp, MON

cheesesarnie · 05/01/2013 22:27

i've only just discovered why everyone else is so 'obsessed' by sex!
i had no idea and was a real prude, i didn't enjoy it, it was just something i felt i had to do.
turns out i was probably just sleeping with the wrong person/people Wink

AnyFucker · 05/01/2013 22:31

CS, that is a great "lightbulb moment"...up there with the best of 'em Xmas Grin

cheesesarnie · 05/01/2013 22:33

Grin it really is! imagine- i could still be there and not know this!

AnyFucker · 05/01/2013 22:37

erk it doesn't bear thinking about !

too many women put up with shit sex

if only more would break free and find someone good at it (not those porn-fulled dickhead that think they are...)

AnyFucker · 05/01/2013 22:37

*fuelled

Original poster
PepsiCoco · 05/01/2013 22:43

He's a lovely guy. I like other things about him just not that. He thinks its good. He looks in to my eye while he's doing it and thinks we have some connection or something. I'm torn between wishing it would last longer and wishing it would hurry up because it isn't going to get any better.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 05/01/2013 22:45

you see this lasting 30 odd years ?

really ?

MotherOfNations · 05/01/2013 22:48

The thing is all Women are different. What works for one women won't necessarily work for another.
I think every man needs a little bit of training in his partner's particular likes and dislikes. My dp who is pretty good still needs to be shouted at gently told not to shove his hand down my knickers without so much as a kiss.

Original poster
PepsiCoco · 05/01/2013 22:50

I get that but 12 months on and I'm making zero head way on that one.
Despite over encouragement at the slightest change!

OP posts:
ouryve · 05/01/2013 22:54

wtf?

Has this been done yet?

Been with DP just over 12 months, we only ever have sex in the missionary position. He has tried to instigate other things but I somehow manage to veto them.
Normally I sleep in his arms but last night I wanted more space and turned over to sleep. DP snuggled in to the back of me and used this as a perfect opportunity to take control and he put his thing in from behind. It wasn't going particularly well but I didn't move away. But just as it seemed to be getting in the right place DC woke up and needed tending to.
When I returned, I got DP on top as usual and said "this is better, that other way was unnatural"

OldMacEIEIO · 05/01/2013 22:59

Tell him that Jimmy Saville and Gary Glitter liked to do the missionary position but that real men do it doggy style.

Just make sure he takes you to a street where you are not well known