to be absolutely gutted to find out I'm PG with DC3?

[AnotherTeacherMum]

Found out today that I am pg- bit of a shock.

TMI bit (included so I don't get lynched for being lax about contraception), condom split went for morning after pill well within timescales- could not believe it when I got a positive test today.

DH had a business go under just over year ago, we are in £50k debt (as well as mortgage, only about £10- 15k equity in house as bought at a bad time) he's currently working as a taxi driver (his income doesn't even cover bills) so heavily reliant on my bursary now and me getting a job in Sep (which I now realise is about a week after I'm due).

I'm finding my workload with kids/ study / teaching practice so hard already. DC1 and 2 are 4 and 5 yo. Last couple of years have been horrible mainly becauase of financial probs- been taken to court,had repossession of vehicle- managed to get my English degree whilst all of this going on. Even if I only had 3 months off when baby is born I don't know how we would live whilst I was off and that would be assuming I could find work easily when I needed to go back. I also can't bear that thought of packing a tiny baby off into childcare whilst I work a 50-60 hour week- but I will have no choice. I already feel like I see far less of dc1 and dc2 than they need.

I felt like we were just about to get our lives back on track when I qualify in summer and now I'm back to square 1. I realise that there are people who would do anything for a baby but I feel absolutely defeated by life today :(

Fuck me mybaby have a word with yourself.

I would love another baby too ( I have had 2 mc and also had to terminate quite far along in another pregnancy for medical reasons.)

How is it helpful to the op to tell her that?

Her loving babies isn't an issue.

Because I am anti-abortion and that is my right!. It's true what I said!.

Jeeze what's that I smell? Oh it's the burning reek of the self righteous.

Good luck to you, bless you x

EVERYONE on here is entitled to an opinion, no I won't have one!, my child would be loved and wanted. The case of rape is very difficult but it's not in this case and fwiw I PMed OP and it was a lovely message!, not emotional blackmail crap!. LetsFace, no it's not self righteousness-it's called being decent!......that guilt I smell..

Op, hope you reach a decision that you and your dh are comfortable with, and that is right for you and your family. Perhaps make a decision NOT to make a decision until after Christmas. Too much stress to sit down and talk/think about this whilst so much other stuff going on.

Sending lots of hugs

Oh, and ignore anybody else's agenda, this is not about them.

For fuck sakes.
Mybaby you are entitled to your opinion, as is anyone, even if they were a completely crass cunt.
But saying emotive things like 'think of their first Christmas' is not going to help the OP here.

What BOF said. What an unpleasant thing to do, MB1d.

Good luck with whatever you decide, OP.

Lifeis, read the OP.

Terra yes I am entitled to it and that's why I replied.
SpecialAgent you're a bigger one!.

Wow I think using the 'c' word on a thread like this is pretty out of order too - Mybaby might not share your opinion, but why drag the thread down into a disgusting parade of derogatory insults?

OP:

I am so sorry, I don't know what I would do in your position; I am intellectually pro-choice but would find it such a hard decision that I genuinely fear ever having to make it. I feel for you. Whatever you do, it's very clear that you will give it great thought and care and I hope that will help you through it -- knowing that you are doing your best with this very hard decision. (And sorry if this offends, I'm religious, if you are too, then I would also say that I hope that you'll feel aware that God looks on you with grace no matter what, at least I believe that.)

Now. MyBaby:

Here is the thing. If you are pro-choice, it is fair play to post "I can see how hard it would be for you to have another child when you don't know how you'll continue your career or if you'll be okay financially."

It is NOT fair play to post "Omg think of how shitty it will be when you are exhausted and broke and your marriage is a wreck!!!"

If you are pro-life it is fair play to post "I can see how hard it would be for you to not have another child when you know that you would provide a loving home and co-parent and siblings."

It is NOT fair play to post "Think of the darlingness of the baby and how it will love Xmas!!!"

See the difference? The "fair play" posts give the opinion of the posters, but do not try to manipulate the OP by painting her a picture of what she will lose. The "not fair play" posts are (like you are) trying to make her do something by making her afraid of regret, afraid of guilt, afraid of not doing the right thing, afraid of NOT BEING PERFECT. That is bullying and therefore is not an acceptable way to speak to her

Hth.

Oh op, what a situation. Sorry you are in it.

I will keep "what I would do" etc out of it because it really doesn't matter.

I have never had a termination, but I do have friends who have. A few don't regret it, a few do. The ones who do, well...it is frankly devastating. So if you think you would, I'd urge you not to terminate. But if you wouldn't, you do have options.

Whatever you decide, I hope you can put the whole situation out of your head for a bit (so much easier said than done, eh) and have a nice holiday with your family. Wishing you the best. Xxx

Has the OP even been back since the first day? I hope that is because of being busy on the run up to christmas rather than feeling she doesn't want to return. Hope you;re OK OP

Bites tongue extremely hard out of respect of OP.

Op- whereabouts do you live?

We are in London & dh is a cab driver he supports the 6 of us on one wage & recently has earnt a lot more due to the Hailo app which you could get your dh to investigate if it applies to him?

MyBaby pops up every now and then I think. I seem to recall that she's very young. I also think it's worth bearing in mind that sadly, crisis pregnancy threads tend to attract more than their fair share of creative writing.

Lifeis I completely misread your post. Ignore me, sorry.

Oh I couldn't agree more, everlong. It's dreadful.

I wonder how the op is - I hope she's OK (and that her husband looks into the app girlsyearapart mentions, whatever she decides to do).

Hi all,

Many thanks to all who reported this thread to us.

We have had a look and will be going through the thread to remove personal attacks and other posts that break our Talk guidelines .

We do ask members to respect each other's (often very different) opinions even if they don't agree with them.

Perhaps it would be good to return the focus to the OP who is obviously in need of some support and advice.

Merry Christmas all, we wish the OP all the best of luck.