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Original poster

To be at my wits end re dd and her melt downs over loud chewing and slurping....

214 replies

PolkadotCircus · 18/12/2012 11:00

......which ended up with her going to school with half a packed lunch and me screaming like a banshee.

Really don't know what to do.It's really starting to have an impact on our family life.

Dd nearly 8 has this weird obsession over loud chewing,crunching,sniffing and slurping.She doesn't have SEN and apart from being a minx now and again she's a normal bright 7 year old with a great sense of humour.

Soooo if she hears any of the above she sobs,gets uber angry and literally can't control herself.

She has 2 brothers who are now eating meals on tender hooks.1 had a cold last week and omg the fall out.

Aside from screaming at her I'm all out of ideas.She grudgingly admitted today that she could stop herself but she doesn't, it happens over and over again.I'm starting to dread breakfast as it's the one meal I can't send her up to her room(she gets very wobbly if she goes without food for too long).

1 of her brothers is getting very nervous re eating meals and the continual mealtime stress is making me Sad.

Sorry to post here but I need the traffic and ideas of how to handle it.I've tried everything.Today I threatened to contact school and frogmarch in her nightie,she begged me not to and admitted she could control herself saying she would in future(heard that before).

I want nice serene breakfast times of a school morning like other families have.

Help-please before I explode(again)!!!!

OP posts:
Ifyoulike · 18/12/2012 11:08

I wonder if she's having trouble processing her own reaction to the sound, and focusing on it instead of acknowledging it and then trying to distract herself.

If it were my child (and I'm no expert, just brainstorming), I'd probably try a mixture of the following:

-Getting her to write down/rant about how she feels when she hears the sounds, whats going on in her head when she hears it, etc. (or simply having a chat about this)

-Acknowledging to her that its ok to find this annoying, and that lots of things in life are going to be annoying/irritating at different times, and that everyone has things that make them feel this way.

-Describing to her that the solution is to try and distract yourself (when the other person isn't doing anything wrong), and to try and put your mind somewhere else, and if you really can't do that, then to remove yourself from the situation as a last resort.
But that blowing up at the other person is not acceptable.

-Ideas to distract herself could include humming quietly to herself, imagining a tune in her head, etc (just the things that come to mind, there might be some other ideas floating around on the internet/here).

Hope things improve for you. Smile

squeakytoy · 18/12/2012 11:10

It sounds to me like a phobia that she is developing. It is a very common phobia to find the sounds of others eating to be repulsive. I would try not to get angry with her, she really cant help it, and I suspect is saying that she can just to avoid confrontation with you, and because she herself doesnt like feeling this way either.

I would take her to the GP and get this discussed properly as things like this can sometimes lead to eating disorders if they dont get sorted out.

Sparkleandshine · 18/12/2012 11:13

this is a known condition - i'll be back shortly when I've thought what it's called. My DH has it!

Original poster
PolkadotCircus · 18/12/2012 11:13

Wow If some really good ideas,thankyou Thanks!!!That is exactly what she's doing,says it makes her bottom hurt,Hmm!!!!

Can't believe that this is such an issue-loud chewing and sniffing really!!!!

OP posts:
Sparkleandshine · 18/12/2012 11:14

here you go "misophonia" www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/08/misophonia-annoying-noises-disorder_n_953892.html

notsofrownieface · 18/12/2012 11:16

Hi it sounds very much like misophonia, I developed this when I was about 6. And i feel like a red mist descends when I hear people chew gum, whistle, eat, slurp. There is a poem that describes this from the viewpoint of a child let me find it.

bradywasmyfavouritewiseman · 18/12/2012 11:17

I think the difference is the child admits she could control herself if she so chose.

Sparkleandshine · 18/12/2012 11:18

it isn't about loud sounds, it is anger at small repetitive sounds. I still remember DH having a go at my Dad about him crunching crisps too loudly we were all a bit Shock and Grin.

She needs to control it herself and learn not to explode - like walk out of the room or count to ten.

Original poster
PolkadotCircus · 18/12/2012 11:18

Is it,gosh I feel bad now.

It seems to cause her real anguish.She is a good eater (during meals we all chew like the queen and which are cold free obviously).One of my sons had a tonsil problem a couple of years ago,it was hell tbh as it hurt to chew so it was slightly loud but nothing major.

I can't go to the gp surely he'll think I'm off my trolley,also don't want to mess up dd's medical records for the future.

She has no other fears at all,tis v feisty(as girls with 2 brothers often are)but this is starting to get dp and I down.We're stumped.

OP posts:
RCOR · 18/12/2012 11:19

My sister was like this....still is in fact, although maybe not to the extreme you describe. The best solution was to have a radio on in the background to camouflage the sounds. Have you tried something like that? Presume you have.

Original poster
PolkadotCircus · 18/12/2012 11:21

Re admitting she can control herself I'm ashamed to say after my hollering like a banshee and threatening to frogmarch her every morning late to the school office I think she may have been saying what she thought I wanted to hear.

I just don't know but this has been going on a long time.Just going to look at that link.

OP posts:
notsofrownieface · 18/12/2012 11:21

this is the poem from the view point of a child

I have to try with all my might to 'control' myself. Sometimes there is no control there.

PoppyPrincess · 18/12/2012 11:22

How bizarre.
I wonder if she noticed it once when she happened to be in a bad mood, it bugged her, she made such a song and dance over it and now it has become a big issue to her and the rest of the house. Now that it has become an issue she's going to notice it more, the more she tries to ignore it the more she thinks about it. If somebody says to you ''don't think about pink elephants'' what do you think about ?

Have you tried distracting her at meal times? Putting some music on, engaging her in conversations?

If it carries on I'd maybe talk to your gp and maybe get her referred to a therapist. That might seem a little OTT but it could develop in to an even bigger obsession

SquishyCinnamonSwirls · 18/12/2012 11:22

I'm a bit like this but not to the same lengths as your dd. If we have certain members of the family over I find some unintrusive music to put on so it drowns out the sounds otherwise I cannot eat. My stomach turns and I feel sick from the noise.

Sparkleandshine · 18/12/2012 11:23

Fom Wiki "People who have misophonia are most commonly annoyed, or even enraged, by such ordinary sounds as other people eating, breathing, sniffing, talking, sneezing, yawning, walking, chewing gum, snoring or coughing; certain consonants; or repetitive sounds"

DH gets intensely annoyed by sneezing....

RightsaidFreud · 18/12/2012 11:23

I think you need to address this asap. I've wondered whether my OH has mosphonia. He has real problems dealing with people eating, crunching, slurping. Crisps and apples are the worst things for him. No one can eat crisps around him without him blowing his top or having to leave the room, or eat in a different room. He says it started as a child. I would be really interested to know if there are any ways to deal with it.

Sorry I can't really help, but know that your DD isn't the one out there with this!

notsofrownieface · 18/12/2012 11:24

This has lots of information www.misophonia-uk.org/

squeakytoy · 18/12/2012 11:25

I cant stand to hear people eating, it really sets my teeth on edge and makes me feel stabby. The worst noise for me is someone crunching on an apple. Even adverts on the tv affect me.

notsofrownieface · 18/12/2012 11:28

When your dd hears these sounds, does she mimic them?

theri · 18/12/2012 11:28

I really cant stand the sound of people eating either, so i can sympathise with your daughter. We have the radio on and chatter throughout the meal which distracts me from the noises. Though i do still tend to lose my temper at people eating with their mouth open, even guests

notsofrownieface · 18/12/2012 11:30

Also this is a piece from an american news show about a teen with mysophonia abcnews.go.com/2020/video/taylor-misophonia-medical-mystery-teen-sound-rage-2020-16383729

Original poster
PolkadotCircus · 18/12/2012 11:31

Wow thankyou,have been looking at all those links and you know what I think that is what it is.

I feel really bad now.I've been literally apoplectic with rage over this at times as has dp(normally very meek and mild).I've really been worrying about her brothers getting eating disorders tbh as I get stomach churning at some meal times.

One of those sites suggested ear plugs.Will start the radio too and talk to her.Maybe if she knows she can't help it she'll calm down a bit too.

Just want to give her a hug now.SadI was really horrible to her this morning.Sad Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
PolkadotCircus · 18/12/2012 11:32

No she doesn't mimic I don't think she puts her hands over her ears and sobs,moans,gets red in the face and shouts at the culprit.

OP posts:
elvisola · 18/12/2012 11:35

In your shoes and just to try and break the cycle you are in I would get her an iPod and allow her to wear the earphones and listen to music or an audio book at mealtimes.

It sounds distressing for all involved and I wish you luck.

lyndie · 18/12/2012 11:35

What do you mean by not wanting to mess up her medical records for the future?

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