To be at my wits end re dd and her melt downs over loud chewing and slurping....

[PolkadotCircus]

......which ended up with her going to school with half a packed lunch and me screaming like a banshee.

Really don't know what to do.It's really starting to have an impact on our family life.

Dd nearly 8 has this weird obsession over loud chewing,crunching,sniffing and slurping.She doesn't have SEN and apart from being a minx now and again she's a normal bright 7 year old with a great sense of humour.

Soooo if she hears any of the above she sobs,gets uber angry and literally can't control herself.

She has 2 brothers who are now eating meals on tender hooks.1 had a cold last week and omg the fall out.

Aside from screaming at her I'm all out of ideas.She grudgingly admitted today that she could stop herself but she doesn't, it happens over and over again.I'm starting to dread breakfast as it's the one meal I can't send her up to her room(she gets very wobbly if she goes without food for too long).

1 of her brothers is getting very nervous re eating meals and the continual mealtime stress is making me .

Sorry to post here but I need the traffic and ideas of how to handle it.I've tried everything.Today I threatened to contact school and frogmarch in her nightie,she begged me not to and admitted she could control herself saying she would in future(heard that before).

I want nice serene breakfast times of a school morning like other families have.

Help-please before I explode(again)!!!!

My DD has this to an extent, I have it with people chewing gum but people whistling make me insane with rage, it' s like a bubbling cauldron of anger and it makes me want to kill them.
I read something once about highly sensitive personalities and it made total sense, I' m sensitive to sound, to smells, to the weather, to certain fabrics, I realise this makes me sound like a complete loon ?
She can' t help it but she can learn to manage it.

I cannot be in the same room as someone eating cereal, or when my DH drinks cocoa.

Can she eat in a different room in the mornings? I've never thought that breakfast time needed to be a formal affair with everyone sitting down together.

As for other meals -- can you work on a combination of her learning to control herself and others learning to eat more quietly? My brothers have utterly perfectly table manners because they grew up with me!

Ok, some serious diagnoses could have repercussions but that's quite a leap from exploring an issue with a child that can either be ruled out or probably be treated so as to be non-existent or managed as an adult.

Naice, I know EXACTly what you mean - I've often thought it would be great to have a hearing aid so that I could turn down sound when noises make me want to kill someone. My irritants are slurping, repeated sniffing (the occasional sniff doesn't bother me, it's the EXPECTATION of another sniff that send my blood pressure sky high), talking with a full mouth, snoring etc. It sounds like it's all the same sounds that annoy others.

What I don't understand about myself and my noises is that when my ds was small and couldn't be expected to chew with mouth closed, it didnt bother me. He could crunch a carrot or an apple beside me, eat crisps, all the things that make me want to kill someone else. But somewhere along the way, my tolerance for him has gone down and now I can't bear it. He's 12. My dd is 2 and her noises don't bother me. She sleeps with me and has a cold at the moment and is breathing heavily in her sleep. It doesn't bother me. I haven't slept in the same bed as my (loudly snoring) dh for many years though because even his heavy breathing makes me want to stab him.

It was a relief to hear that I'm not the only one. I honestly thought I was a bit nuts.

OP, I know it's awful to have to put up with someone like this but it's awful for her too and she really can't help it.

I wouldn't take her to the doctor, I would help her to manage it, because she's going to have to. What on earth does she do at school? People eat, people sniff...

I would consider - letting her finish her meals elsewhere, letting her start elsewhere but then join you all, putting the radio on, distracting her by giving her jobs like serving, refilling drinks, anything to keep her busy.

I cannot bear people who make noise when eating or drinking or sniffing and it's tipped over oddly into a linguistic aversion. I can't abide the ways in which people talk about food and drink. My Mum is v bad for slurping drinks instead of drinking but she actually says 'can I have a slurp of my drink before I do xyz' and it makes my bottom clench. Same with any ways in which people describe food. Slivers of cake and picky lunches and morsels of cake and tidbits and nibbling etc. I'm quite sensitive to language anyway but you combine the two and it's obscene. I find it embarrassing and disgusting and inappropriate. I can control myself though. Outwards. Inwardly I'm clawing off my own ears and screaming.

lottiegarbanzo

All I'm saying is that the doctor shouldn't be the first port of call in cases like this... when you know there are some simple/basic things you can try first.

If that doesn't work, then absolutely, go to the doctor.

I'm with her, it's repulsive. Let her eat elsewher on her own until the rest of the family can eat in a civilised manner

Fascinating thread. I think I could be mildly like this.

OP, how does she cope at school, at lunch time? There must be loads of loud open mouthed chewing going on then?

I hope you can find ways to help her cope.

i have this, particularly with repetitive sounds. I have put my nails thru my skin when someone was repeatedly clicking the end of their pen in a meeting and i walked out of my a level exam when someone was sniffing. Throat clearing makes me want to jump out of the nearest window. I can still hear the sounds hours after they have stopped and i can't hear or concentrate on anything else. Just this overwhelming panic spreading over me, that it has to stop or i have to get away.

BUT, i have to cope (sometimes i fail spectacularly) as the world is full of annoying sounds and others often don't believe me and just think i'm being a baby or a bitch. can you find ways she can distract herself or go to her happy place in her mind?

I have misophonia too, to the extent that I can't eat socially, nor can I lie next to my children when they are unwell as I can't take the sniffing. I had to get up in the middle of my final year exams as I couldnt stand a student's leg shaking.

I hate it.

I've read and read and read trying to find a cause for this. On a side note, I am being investigated for MS, and was interested to see if fellow sufferers have any kind of similar underlying medical problems. Maybe there is a link?

I have this too I think. I cannot be in the same room as any chompy, crunchy, slurpy eaters. A red mist descends if I'm unfortunate enough to be stuck near someone eating an apple

I have only read OP but wanted to respond (will read thread in a minute)...My dd is exactly like this and she is 7 yo

I used to get really really exasperated, and completely dismissed her disgust as being over-sensitive....But she has actually vomited as a result of other people eating with their mouth open. Meal is over if anyone farts or burps, or makes eating noises

I posted on here about it...and it is a 'thing'...I didnt look into it any further and forget any details, as that knowledge was enough for me. She literally cannot stomach her food, if anyone else does any of these things...

I accomodate it now, and it is much less stressful...sometimes if I remain calm I can encourage her back to her food once some time has passed

I'm the same I hate the nose of loud chewers. Ds1 has a habit of doing it and omg I could scream

Ifyoulike I agree about not rushing straight to the doctor and do understand that serious diagnoses can have an impact on insurance etc. But, I think it's really important to see medical professionals as there to help appropriately and potentially much more damaging to avoid them, than to take a seemingly trivial issue to them.

This thread has made for really uncomfortable reading for me, all of those disgusting noises. I never knew there was a name for it, I must read up.

I used to be filled with rage (still am) at the sound my mum makes when drinking tea, a massive audible gulp. It's making me feel strange just thinking about.

I also get really really pissed off when people have hiccups, I know it can't be helped but it makes me so mad inside.
Huge yawns where people really make a meal of it then smack their lips at the end DH just ughhhh.

antisell - i have recently had optic neuritis and been diagnosed with probable MS and need further tests. Don't know if there is a link. I also suffer from tinnitus.

ok ...misophonia, thats it...

what do people do about this for their kids at school? My dd tells me often she leaves her dinner because a child has been eating with their mouth open or something. A child is not allowed to leave the dining hall, or move seats are they? Or are schools generally understanding?

I disagree with a lot on this thread. YOur DD obviously has an issue, but she can not be allowed to make everyone else's lives difficult because of it. Your son had problems swallowing and someone dared to have a cold. Their needs come first i'm afraid or she will turn into a very entitled little brat tbh.

I am sooo glad I read this thread because it describes exactly how my son is. He has a girlfriend who stays with us a few nights a week, but my son has to sleep on the sofa as he can't stand the sound of her breathing when asleep.

He is also sensitive to slurping, etc. Now I understand it a bit more.

I'm like this. Not sure what the point in seeing a doctor about it is though? Its more about coping strategies.

I only found out as I got older that others are like this (and as a child I genuinely couldn't understand why everyodd else wasn't struggling with the noises. You just assume others respond the same way.)

I'd have found it helpful as a child to be believed (and certainly not told off or ridiculed :-() but not a big thing made of it. I can't cope well when my husband eats apples or crisps and I find it difficult that I have such a problem with it but I do. Like some people find nails on blackboards etc. Its not something I'm in control of and at least as an adult I can remove myself from a situation a child can't.

Things that help me.

Music or radio in the background.
Chewing something myself. If I'm actively chewing something chewy sometimes I hear outside noises less. Especially crisps.

Not sitting near worst offenders.

Sort of stroking my ear. If in public and unable to remove from situation I do this. Ear hears the stroking and I sort of close my ear at the same time.

Awareness that I don't like it helps. Husband will generally eat an apple in a different room.

Not sure its at all an uncommon problem but it must seem weird if you don't have it yourself.

Naice, I know how you feel too.

Some nights I can hardly bring myself to be in the same room as my dh as he makes noises when breathing. I cope with ear phones or moving away when it is really bad. I can't stand cereal eating, sniffing, throat clearing, music upstairs or anything else going on in another room. It feels like I will explode if there is a radio on in the kitchen, music upstairs and the tv on. I can't stand it.

I can also hear the tv when it is on stand by. I can walk past the room and know it. I can hear buzzing from lots of electrical things and it drives me a bit mad.

I think you should talk to your doctor OP, if only so your daughter realises it isn't her fault. I can't help the way I feel about this. I just feel it. I distract myself. I also put my fingers in my ears or try to drown out sounds I don't like.

I often think I was meant to live alone! When I am by myself, I usually have the house as quiet as possible.

lottiegarbanzo

I think we do actually agree for the most part.

I absolutely agree that where a problem seems genuinely medical that it is extremely important to get appropriate medical support.

However, I have the unfortunate experience of seeing the flipside of rushing to medicine right away (people calling ambulances for minor scrapes, coming to A&E with long-term minor, known problems etc. GPs overloaded with 'worried well') and so it is really important that people try reasonable interventions for something that has a reasonable chance of being manageable with basic guidance (this situation is a perfect example).

I also have the experience of being overly-medicalised myself, when all I needed was some common sense intervention.

In this particular case, wouldn't you agree that it is probably more sensible to try normal guidance and coping strategies at home first? (genuine question, and I'm literally just asking for your opinion)