Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be at my wits end re dd and her melt downs over loud chewing and slurping....

214 replies

PolkadotCircus · 18/12/2012 11:00

......which ended up with her going to school with half a packed lunch and me screaming like a banshee.

Really don't know what to do.It's really starting to have an impact on our family life.

Dd nearly 8 has this weird obsession over loud chewing,crunching,sniffing and slurping.She doesn't have SEN and apart from being a minx now and again she's a normal bright 7 year old with a great sense of humour.

Soooo if she hears any of the above she sobs,gets uber angry and literally can't control herself.

She has 2 brothers who are now eating meals on tender hooks.1 had a cold last week and omg the fall out.

Aside from screaming at her I'm all out of ideas.She grudgingly admitted today that she could stop herself but she doesn't, it happens over and over again.I'm starting to dread breakfast as it's the one meal I can't send her up to her room(she gets very wobbly if she goes without food for too long).

1 of her brothers is getting very nervous re eating meals and the continual mealtime stress is making me Sad.

Sorry to post here but I need the traffic and ideas of how to handle it.I've tried everything.Today I threatened to contact school and frogmarch in her nightie,she begged me not to and admitted she could control herself saying she would in future(heard that before).

I want nice serene breakfast times of a school morning like other families have.

Help-please before I explode(again)!!!!

OP posts:
squoosh · 18/12/2012 23:07

I have to mute the TV when a Magnum ice cream ad comes on. There's a particularly loud chocolate crunching sound that drives me potty.

Do I win?

notsofrownieface · 18/12/2012 23:13

Can I just ask, if anyone else gets white hot anger that makes you want to kill the person making the sound? The kind of anger and adrenaline that means that you could pick up a car? Think the incredible hulk.

notsofrownieface · 18/12/2012 23:14

I would never act on my impulses, thanks to self harm...

MrsTomHardy · 18/12/2012 23:17

Omg the dog drinking his water Angry

I cannot bear the noise....I see a red mist and have to tell him to stop....I just can't cope with that sound

frankie4 · 18/12/2012 23:19

I have this too!! My dh has to sleep in a separate room now as his breathing keeps me awake. I can't stand the sound of him slurping his tea. And the worst thing is when he sits with his shoes off and rubs his feet against each other.

I sometimes have to turn the radio off if I don't like the sound of someone's voice. Like if they click their tongue or have saliva swishing around as they talk.

I have never linked the two before, but my ds also has this. He takes his breakfast into another room as he cannot bear to sit with us. If I make him lunch he will not eat it while I am in the same room doing other things. He gets very stressed at my other ds as my other ds is the opposite and likes to sit at mealtimes tapping his fingers on the table or clapping! A real nightmare as you can imagine!

I do have sympathy for my ds, but I don't really know what the solution is. My ds is also sensitive about other things, likes to have the same bowl when eating, etc. it depends what mood he is in. Some days he forgets about it and is fine eating with all of us and our noises!

Joiningthegang · 18/12/2012 23:22

I have a work colleague/ friend who i dearly like but she drives me insane - regularly taps her nails on the desk or keeps clicking her pen - and slurps tea - i want to kill her

I hate people chewing with mouth open - lots of me shouting at my daughter - it is disgusting

Best friend has a clicky jaw when he eats - aaarrrggghhh god it is hideous

Sniffing - dont start me on sniffing

Hearing people gulp - my mum in particular - i have to leave the room

My husband rubbing his socks together sets my terth on edge.

So glad i am not alone!

DumSpiroSperHoHoHo · 18/12/2012 23:29

Comforting to know how many people are the same with this.

Eating/drinking noises have driven me up the wall since I was a child (now late 30's). I was sat next to DH last night watching TV and he was eating peanuts. I really had to force myself not to leave the room.

My parents are used to it - they know that if I phone them and they are eating something I will have to call them back. Mum used to ring sometimes mid-breakfast but doesn't do it any more. I only have to look at them if they slurp a drink and they know exactly what the face is for Blush.

Eating at the same time as other people helps, as does having background noise. TBH we always ate in the sitting room with the TV on until we got a new sofa about 6 months ago and started using the dining room. It's so much more noticeable in there it's horrible.

Also have to have volume on TV, stereo etc set to 12. If DH or DD turn it up even a notch I can tell, and the first thing I do if they go out is turn them off altogether.

BluelightsAndSirens · 18/12/2012 23:34

I haven't read the entire thread just marking my place for tomorrow.

squoosh · 18/12/2012 23:41

notsofrownieface Yep I do, especially when someone is eating an apple. I feel a wave of blue rage hit me, I have to walk away.

squoosh · 18/12/2012 23:44

All the triggers on the page linked below cause me rage except for the environmental ones which don't bother me at all. Just as well I suppose, I have more than enough rage to be getting on with!

www.misophonia.info/symptoms-and-triggers/

RiddoTheRedNosedReindeer · 18/12/2012 23:47

I feel so relieved, I thought it was just me. I feel so angry and stressed when I hear sniffing, it makes me want to cry.

Also DH breathing, snoring, slurping and rubbing his fingers together. I'll definately be showing this thread to him.

OP - I hope you find a solution for your DD .

SpringHeeledJack · 19/12/2012 00:00

marking place

mine is dp eating- not the kids, strangely

almost unbearable. Sometimes I have to make an excuse and leave the room. Or he gets fed up of my twitching, fidgeting and blowing, and he leaves instead

Sad

and one of the dogs licking his chops and eating imaginary food OVER AND OVER AGAIN (he's doing it now so have put the telly on really loud)

he's my favourite dog but I just can't bear it

I didn't have this response as a child- except to the noise of tea being poured

I didn't know this was a Thing

thank you for the thread Smile

FannyFifer · 19/12/2012 00:07

The noise of someone cleaning their teeth makes me want commit murder.

twinklestar2 · 19/12/2012 00:13

Laughing and crying at this thread at the same time! Finally, people who understand me!! I second everything on this thread.

My husband tells me it's my problem not theirs which helps me to control it a little bit.

I wore earplugs for 3 years at my old job because I couldn't BEAR the way someone typed.

Ifyoulike · 19/12/2012 00:16

I don't have misophonia, but the sound that really does get right under my skin is metal hangers scraping along a metal pole shudder. That sort of high-pitched squeeeeeeak.

Ifyoulike · 19/12/2012 00:17

Oh, and someone scratching their skin. Envy

judefawley · 19/12/2012 00:35

I realised a few years ago that I had misophonia.

I think I am hard to live with in that I won't abide any level of unpleasant eating.

Sniffing, nose blowing, ott sneezing make me murderous.

If my dh has music on in the kitchen when I'm in the bath (room above), I go crazy, as all I can hear is the bass.

Whistling, humming, nervous tics - they all make me see red.

My dh will remember the wonderful meal on a night out - I will remember the sniffer on a nearby table, or someone who chewed loudly or with their mouth open!

AuntPepita · 19/12/2012 00:41

Blimey. I spent my adolescence incandescent with rage because I could hear the tv n my bedroom. If I hear a tv/radio through a wall that is all I can hear, even if it is really, really quiet. It's not just annoying it makes me apoplectic and massively stressed.

munchkinmaster · 19/12/2012 00:45

I'll read this thread properly in the am. But just to say I had this problem and still do. Often Ate seperately as a child at home, unspoken rule always sat as far away from main slurper at meals. Wore ear plugs in exams for the sniffing. Growing up and developing self control/anger management has helped but woe betide DH if he crunches an apple when im tired....

Such noises really really upset me. Sound silly but they really do make me feel awful. DH asked what will I do if baby grows up to be a slurper. Or worse a sniffer ......

rosiesmartypants · 19/12/2012 01:10

I realised last year that I wasn't alone last year after a lady appear on breakfast TV (Daybreak I think), who could not bear the noise of other people eating including her DD. They referred to it as Selective Sound Sensitivity. She had some sort of "session" with 2 psychotherapists, although we were never told the detail...then it was claimed she was cured.

I am glad I read this thread, as I didn't realise quite how common it was, as a teenager it started out with the eating noises, and I couldn't eat at the table, fortunately my mum didn't mind me eating elsewhere. But I still get enraged at people talking with their mouths full, chomping, slurping, eating with their mouths open, and normally shoot the an uncontrollable dirty look, before I realise what I am doing.

As I have got older (and normally in work situations) the list has grown - people bouncing on chairs, foot tapping, bouncing legs, clicking pens, charm bracelets and bangles clinking off of desks....oh and outside work...bouncing balls!

I have to admit I spend a lot of time listening to music on my iPod, and if I leave the house without it in the morning I will turn back and get it - that is my best coping strategy! Am still curious about these psychotherapists though....but they are TV stars and I am sure it would cost a fortune!

rosiesmartypants · 19/12/2012 01:34

Oh and I forgot - keyboard thumpers.....I sat beside the keyboard thumper in the office last year (so loud the iPod didn't drown hom out)....so bad he actually broke a keyboard....and some nights I was so anxious and frustrated I came home in tears!

OvOinAManger · 19/12/2012 01:44

I have this.

My parents and sisters have mocked me my whole life about it.
It would have made it easier to cope if they'd just been even a little bit understanding. But no, they'd deliberately make more noise to wind me up. They are actually nice people just were total arses over this.

It's not just sounds for me it's also repetitive movements. I get proper full on rage. It's hard to understand how intense and overwhelming it is if you dont suffer from it.

I have to sleep with a fan on to drown out even slight breathing sounds. The fan is on my bed, pushed into my pillow to maximise the whirring noise. I'm freezing my bum off but it has to be on or I can't sleep at all and lie there feeling murderous.

InLoveWithDavidTennant · 19/12/2012 02:10

wow... i feel so at home in this thread! and here was me thinking it was just part of my mild OCD

open mouth gum chewing drives me insane

loud gulpers

my husband snoring... he is quite often kicked out into the spare room

noisy chewers

my mum, when watching tv, plays with her lips... so every few seconds you hear a kind of wet clicking sound. it drives me barmey

and the one that really makes me Angry and want to kill... is when someone is being fucking annoying picking their finger nails with the nails on their other hand and they make that clicking sound. makes me shudder just thinking about it

im sure there are others but im tired and cant think of any

recall · 19/12/2012 02:31

My Mum eating apples Angry

My old Dog when she used to keep licking her chops....then relaxing....then doing it again for ages

That purring breathing people do when they have got snot flapping at the back of their throat inside somewhere......fuck OFF !!!!

Husband when asleep gently does a "phe" out of his closed lips......NO NO NO.

polkadotcircus when I was young, I did used go insane, but I could never say anything because my Mum would have mad, when that apple came out my heart used to sink Sad It really was awful, I can remember that knot of rage inside my guts, and lots of silent screaming.

hopkinette · 19/12/2012 02:36

notsofrownie yes, I have proper overwhelming uncontrollable rage/despair/panic.