To be at my wits end re dd and her melt downs over loud chewing and slurping....

[PolkadotCircus]

......which ended up with her going to school with half a packed lunch and me screaming like a banshee.

Really don't know what to do.It's really starting to have an impact on our family life.

Dd nearly 8 has this weird obsession over loud chewing,crunching,sniffing and slurping.She doesn't have SEN and apart from being a minx now and again she's a normal bright 7 year old with a great sense of humour.

Soooo if she hears any of the above she sobs,gets uber angry and literally can't control herself.

She has 2 brothers who are now eating meals on tender hooks.1 had a cold last week and omg the fall out.

Aside from screaming at her I'm all out of ideas.She grudgingly admitted today that she could stop herself but she doesn't, it happens over and over again.I'm starting to dread breakfast as it's the one meal I can't send her up to her room(she gets very wobbly if she goes without food for too long).

1 of her brothers is getting very nervous re eating meals and the continual mealtime stress is making me .

Sorry to post here but I need the traffic and ideas of how to handle it.I've tried everything.Today I threatened to contact school and frogmarch in her nightie,she begged me not to and admitted she could control herself saying she would in future(heard that before).

I want nice serene breakfast times of a school morning like other families have.

Help-please before I explode(again)!!!!

Not sure about school,interesting question,I'd like to know too.She has days when she doesn't eat a lot of her packed so maybe she just packs up and goes.

I have this too - amazing how good it feels to know there are others! Agree that apples and crisps are the worst, will do almost anything to avoid being near themm being eaten; and after nearly tearing the skin off my armwith my fingernails in one exam, sat near a sniffer, gave in and asked to be moved (professional finals, so stress level already up a bit!)

Good luck OP; I hope you can help DD find coping mechanisms that work for her.

I find if I have music on to "drown out" the sound, the music has to be loud - otherwise I get even more anxiety due to listening for the sound through the music.....

I think I have this.

At primary school I used to tell other children off for slurping and making noises while eating. It drove me to distraction - although them using their fork as a shovel and holding their knife like a pen had a similar effect on me.

I am a going bit deaf now so increasingly less sensitive about noise, thankfully.

I used to work with someone who clicked their tongue when they were thinking (surprisingly often). The urge to stab them in the eye with a pen was great.

The noise my Ex DP used to make when sleeping (not snoring, not loud, just his particular breathing) annoyed me. I have to send my DC out of the room to cough - persistent coughing really gets to me. On the train I have to play music to drown out the coughing and wheezing noises.

There was a thread earlier this year about a child not eating at school because of other children eating making her feel ill. I'm not sure what the outcome was though.
I would ask though OP does she have a point about family habits or it is it a extreme reaction?

Some of DC friends had dreadful eating habits that my DC knew were unacceptable.

My DS (16) has a good friend who can't handle certain noises. They cause him physical pain. Eating noises are ones he struggles with particularly. He ended up being homeschooled for a while because of it.

I always assumed that everyone had an extra sensitivity to certain sounds. I can't bear to be in the same room as someone squeaking a balloon, which makes kids' parties a bit of a nightmare. My mother hated the sound of people shuffling their shoes through sand. My DD can't stand hearing the very gentle (to me inaudible) sound of someone rubbing their hands together.

As a child I was very very sensitive to certain sights and sounds - which used to drive my family insane, of course. My brother was a noisy eater and I couldn't stand being at the table with him. I still hate being near someone who is chewing gum or sniffing (public transport stretches my nerves considerably in this respect).

So I have loads of sympathy with your DD. I don't know whether there's anything you can do about it, though - maybe the gentlest option is just to let her eat at a different time from the rest of you or wear earphones while eating.

Just had a look at one of the support websites, and they recommend trying counselling or CBT.

I also remembered reading a blog post about misophonia recently, and it was this (quite funny): lanotsoconfidential.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/misophonia-is-new-black_9.html

This thread has been an eye opener for me. I didn't realise there was a name for how I feel when hearing certain noises.
I am not as bad as some onh ere, but sneezing sets my teeth on edge, as does chomping chewing slurping etc.
my mum is a really noisy eater, and it irritates the life out of me.
She also burps a lot and i get really wound up by it.

i ahve evne stopped giving my mindees ice lolliesas one of them has a really weird way of eating one he puts his whole mouth over the lolly and then sucks and it makes this sort of "slurp" noise. Drives me nuts

I have this too.
I have to avoid being near my parents' dog because the sound of it licking itself makes me want to kill it.
The anxiety at hearing certain noises is terrible, I also have issues with certain types of light, I don't know if they are connected?

Well damn... I never knew there was a name for this!

Another one here who hates noisy chewers and slurpers...slurping is especially bad for me...people who do that fluttery sipping thing with their tea over the rim of the cup is a pet hate of mine, as well. (shudder)

You learn something new everyday!

Funnily enough the dog's snoring, loud eating and drinking don't bother me in the slightest.
Just when humans do it.

Don't even get me started on the dog drinking..

My FIL makes a sort of clicking sound with his jaw when he eats. < feeling sick at the thought of it.>
Also hate unnecessarily noisy eaters.(Crisps/apples don't bother me) but DH can be noisy eating yogurt

Wow very interesting thread - I didn't know there was a name for this, just thought I'm neurotic and intolerant!

Eating sounds don't bother me particularly, but I'm generally very oversensitive to certain sounds, particularly high pitched, repetitive ones. Can't bear sudden loud screeching sounds (bus brakes, microphone feedback kind of pitch) - they hurt me and I have to stuff my fingers in my ears and chant "lalalalalalalala" to drown it out. God I sound like a fucking loon!

Can't bear repetitive coughing, sneezing, voice tics. DP has the most sudden, explosive, fucking LOUD sneezing fits I've ever heard, and I have to really stamp on the urge to scream at him. DD has some aspie traits and frequently develops little verbal tics; quiet grunts, tongue clicking, tooth grinding, lip smacking. I can't bear it and pick her up on it every time. Luckily she does seem to be able to control it for the most part, although she's constantly clearing her throat at the moment. I'm in the wrong family, aren't I.

God the list is endless - noisy breathing at night, certain pitches of voice or laughter, hums from electrical stuff, bleeping machines. It's as though I lack the filter to make them fade into the background, and can't block them out.

I do feel for your DD, and I'm glad you're realising that she has little control over her reaction (that's not to say that she can't learn to manage her reactions better). I feel better having read this thread too and knowing that I'm not alone in this wierdness.

This is really interesting, can you have it for just certain noises? One of my dogs has a wet slurpy snore (recent development) and I cannot bear the sound, to the degree that I actually want to hurt it (I would never, I walk away but the sound follows me) and one of the children cracks their coke can and I end up shouting at them DH thinks I`m being horrible to them but I cannot take it. Whenever they have a drink I have to turn the telly really loud.

I didn't realise there were so many people who feel like I do about eating noises. The worst of it is that it is very difficult to get away from these days. People eat everywhere.

A colleague at work would start to crunch on a large apple every lunchtime and I would have to spend 30 minutes away from my desk every day because that's how long she'd take to eat it. I'd be waiting for the next crunch. Luckily she's moved a lot further down the office so now I can't hear her.

My mum started my problem. She has a clicky jaw and used to eat cornflakes in a really noisy way. If I ever made a fuss about her noisy eating she used to really have a go at me. It's very unfair.

Someone further down the thread said she wasn't trouble by her children eating noisily as babies - I didn't mind DD's noises when she was tiny but now she's 5 I can't bear to be near her when she eats :(

I never realised this affected other people too. I hated eating at the table as a child. Even now when I visit my mum I have to turn the TV on really loud so the noise drifts through to the dining room and drowns out the noise. She makes a kind of farting noise with her mouth no matter what she eats.
I have to take my ipod when I go on the train as I hate the sound of eating and sniffing. Even the rustle of bags upsets me. I forgot my ipod yesterday and there was a woman eating a chocolate bar. She made so much noise with the wrapper I was seething inside. Crisps,chewing gum and apples are the worst offenders. Sniffing and hiccoughs upset me but sneezing is fine. I also find the sound of nails being filed really upsetting.
So relieved to find other people are similar.

Whilst I agree that there may be a condition for the extreme aversion and reaction to certain noises, I also know that it is totally normal for everyone to find some sounds annoying and it not be a condition. Otherwise absolutely everyone on the planet would have this condition!

I also think that for some, I know for myself, that these annoyances can be learnt. I find the whole eating/breathing thing annoying but only since I was around 10 or so and my dad kept pointing out that my mum would sniff or chew loudly. And then I find myself homing in on it but again only with certain people, normally those I'm around alot but then familiarity breeds contempt doesn't it?

Maybe with your daughter you could ask how she would feel if someone had this kind of reaction to her doing these things? Get her to really think about it. It's quite hurtful to have a go at someone because of how they eat or do something they can't help.

DH tells me that when I get annoyed with him and then I feel bad and have to make a conscious effort not to get annoyed. It becomes a conditioned reaction after a while.
After all its not the other persons problem, its your problem. And to get on in life you have to learn to deal with these annoyances and moderate your reaction to them, which I think is what most people do on a day to day basis.

Can't you teach your children to eat quietly? I can not tolerate noisy eating either, no slurping, loud chewing or clinking of cutlery is allowed around Rollmops' towers. Ghastly habits and completely avoidable.
One must know how to eat properly. [stern]
Sniffing should be done in private as well.

[high and mighty]

Felt tip pens on paper, markers on white board, those are two bad ones for me. As a child, I had to turn the sound right down on Rolf Harris when he was doing his 'can you tell what it is yet?'. I had trouble all through college and uni with markers on white boards. I just want to run away. Squeaky desks too - my DD goes to cadets and they wanted me to stick around and help but seval of the kids rotate the little mini-rotatey desk things back and forth repeatedly. I have to leave the room - I physically cannot bear the sound.

Wow this thread is really cathartic!

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