To be at my wits end re dd and her melt downs over loud chewing and slurping....

[PolkadotCircus]

......which ended up with her going to school with half a packed lunch and me screaming like a banshee.

Really don't know what to do.It's really starting to have an impact on our family life.

Dd nearly 8 has this weird obsession over loud chewing,crunching,sniffing and slurping.She doesn't have SEN and apart from being a minx now and again she's a normal bright 7 year old with a great sense of humour.

Soooo if she hears any of the above she sobs,gets uber angry and literally can't control herself.

She has 2 brothers who are now eating meals on tender hooks.1 had a cold last week and omg the fall out.

Aside from screaming at her I'm all out of ideas.She grudgingly admitted today that she could stop herself but she doesn't, it happens over and over again.I'm starting to dread breakfast as it's the one meal I can't send her up to her room(she gets very wobbly if she goes without food for too long).

1 of her brothers is getting very nervous re eating meals and the continual mealtime stress is making me .

Sorry to post here but I need the traffic and ideas of how to handle it.I've tried everything.Today I threatened to contact school and frogmarch in her nightie,she begged me not to and admitted she could control herself saying she would in future(heard that before).

I want nice serene breakfast times of a school morning like other families have.

Help-please before I explode(again)!!!!

now that you know your daughter is not alone abd what it is like us with misophonia, i hope youve stopped shouting at the poor girl. knowing how difficult it is to stand the noises i felt desperately sorry for her reading your op

I don't think I have misophonia although I have a problem with sucking noises. I used to send my children into another room when they ate ice lollies. Weirdly enough my youngest and I were talking it about it the other day and she said she couldn't stand me biting ice lollies - I can't lick them or suck them myself because the noise sets my teeth on edge, but I think that is because my teeth are sensitive. Like most people with good tablemanners I find people who eat with their mouth open or noisily slurp unpleasant. Not keen on sniffers either.

What I do have a problem with at times are with noises that normally wouldn't particularly bother me but pre-migraine sound 20 times louder, the cat's miow for instance drives me to put him outside. I do that for two reasons, one cos I can't stand the noise and two because I don't want to end up shouting at him. I know it is my problem not his.

I know that there is a difference to how I hear sounds before the onset of a migraine and it seems to me that is how it must be the same with people with misophonia only worse, like a panic attack reaction. Having suffered with those and learnt coping strageties through a phobia course I know that they can be of enormous benefit. I used to yell at people when I got panicky, I don't anymore because of the coping strategies, one of those being that I will say how I feel before I get to the point where I explode, acknowledging that it is me not them.

I personally think you were brave Polkadotcircus to be so honest in your post about your reactions to Dd. You realised you had a problem within the family and you asked for help. Good luck with finding ways to help Dd and the rest of you as a family. I hope you get to a point where you can enjoy mealtimes all together. The important thing is to spend quality time together, whether it involves meals or not doesn't really matter.

I sympathize, I really do as I have this and so does my DS2. The bad news is you don't grow out of it and it certainly is not a phase. I have always had it ( am now 44 and DS2 is 16). Any eating/drinking noises, throat clearing, nasal sounds and spitting literally make us want to vomit, makes our skin crawl and makes us want to punch the offender. Your daughter will develop coping mechanisms as she gets older. Only perfect table manners will do I'm afraid.

Eating noises,sniffing, nail biting, toe nail clippping, snoring - all those type of noises drive me fucking barmy, too.

It is reassuring to know that I am not alone! I always have the radio or tv on if DH is eating!

Hope your DD finds ways to cope as best she can, OP.

People sneezing loudly gives me the rage. Soft sneezing is OK but anything show-offy makes me really mad. So does pen-tapping, chair-scuffling, water-bottle-cracking, people tearing paper or sellotape and trying to do it quietly, humming and muttering.

I am a secondary teacher. You can imagine that my definition of a quiet classroom is very quiet.

God I think I have this too. Listening to exp eat was hell on earth for me it was the same with my dad. Recently a relative states with me to help me with so ethical g and her scraping porridge out of the bowl - unnecessarily touching the bowl!!! Made me see red every day it made me feel so ungrateful too.

I second others about distraction like the radio etc because I rarely get cross in restaurants or in public etc

My god. I am torn, reading this thread, between the relief of recognising a shared problem! and skin crawling disgust at reading people's lists of triggers, when they are so similar to mine.

I clicked on the list of triggers on the misophonia link - had to get up and walk around because I felt so nauseous.

I know there is a difference between a noise I find a bit annoying (a car engine revving loudly - a door slamming) and noises which make me want to vomit or run away. Crisp/gum chewing, tea slurping, open mouth eating, sniffing, 'plashy' consonant sounds...

Couple of things I am wondering - I have always had an exaggerated startle reflex (couldn't stand fireworks as a child, still iffy now) - and have always been 'sensitive' to noise. I can't bear two noise sources (radio on in one room, telly in another, even if neither is very loud).

Anyone else similar...?

I also have the opposite of misophonia in a way. Some ordinary sounds can send me into a sort of sensual delirium! if they have a particular quality. It's called 'asmr' or auto sensory meridian response'. A good description is here - www.asmr.co.uk/

Does anyone else with an extreme negative reaction to sound have this too....?

God I had no idea that this was an actual thing! I get so angry if DH rubs his hands together (dry skin noise - bleeurrgh) or gulps a drink that I feel like punching him. I am not at all like that normally but certain noises give me a panicky rage.

I commute and find the train journey so hard as sniffing bothers me so much. I also can't share a room with DD as she grinds her teeth. I have to run in her room and kiss her with my hands over my ears when i go to bed in case she does it while I'm in the room.

I feel so relieved that I am not mad/horrible/just generally intolerant.

Thank you OP and I hope you find some good coping solutions for your DD. I think you sound like a lovely mum and ignore the judgy posts telling you off for losing it. I think the fact you were concerned enough to post and be honest about shouting says a lot about you as a loving parent tbh.

To those of you who have said they walked out of exams - don't! Or at least tell yr dc's they don't have to. I dont (think) have misphonia, I'm just grumpy and intolerant, but during my exams I have requested I be moved to a different room a couple of times, and got it. I also had a chap with a stupidly annoying loud cough moved to a different room. (I asked to be moved, but he was so annoying they moved him.) I also never go anywhere without earplugs.

Wow, I too have this, I have been driven demented by noises over the years!
I worked in a small office, radio always on, I used to get more and more upset, and made excuses not to work there. It wasn't the noise so much but the fact it was a commercial station, limited playlist and repeated adverts!! I can listen to radio in the car, but it is never allowed in the house.

DH eating crisps, sticking his fingers in the corner of the packet to get the last bit of flavour out - over and over again...!
People clicking pens in meetings have felt the wrath, sniffers need to just blow their bloody noses, kids who don't pick their feet up, eating/slurping noises..

This has been a fascinating thread, thank you all, I am so glad it is not just me.

I was once behind a woman clipping and filing her nails on the train.

Obviously I killed her and threw her body out of the window.

rainrainandmorerain Yes I have asmr and misophonia (I think). I only discovered the asmr tag a few months ago. Watching people perform certain tasks such as cleaning, folding things, provokes it. I can best describe it as feeling as though my brain is being massaged. Youtube is full of asmr videos although the whispery sounds definitely don't do it for me. Whispering triggers my rage!

squoosh - yep, me too. Loathe whispering - but let me watch someone wrapping a present or putting make up on.... total brain massage!

My hunch is that misophonia and asmr are 2 sides of the same coin i.e. major sensitivity to sound. Wonder if any other asmr fans are here....