To think he should buy a new fucking engagement ring!?

[BlueSuedeStiletto]

I got a text from my ex fiance this morning saying:

"Hiya, this might sound a bit weird, but can I have the engagement ring back?? Think I may have found a new recipient!"

My face was like this .

I've not seen him for a while- since I picked the last of my stuff up- and have been distancing myself, but he didn't mention anything when I saw him. I asked him when we split if he wanted the ring back, and he said no.

Obviously I don't wear the ring, but it still means something. And what woman in their right mind would want a ring chosen by a man's ex and worn by her for nearly 3 years? I think that's pretty insulting for both of us. AIBU??

I'd write nothing with it. I think he's hard up and needs the money from selling it. i.e. no other woman.

Personally I think it belongs to you and you should sell it. He lacks class asking for it.

Yes, I thought you might like that one :o

The thing is, would he really know it was the one you bought 3 years ago? I bet he has a vague idea of how it looks, and as long as it looks similar.....

or rather that is wasnt the one you bought!

Not that you owe him or her anything, but if you don't return it, I reckon you will do him a favour, by saving him from the total embarrassment of approaching a comparative stranger with an engagement ring, and her a bigger one, by being put in that position, and I imagine, being rather freaked out by it!

Bogey you are good

I really am starting to warm to the replica ring idea.

Banders are you really sure that an impressive knowledge of LizD jewellery is something to be proud of?

Badger you were the inspiration, I just took it one step further!

Lets face it Blue anything that is in the posh shops at megabucks, you can get in LizzieD's for peanuts, thats where I got my favourite dress ring from! I bought it when I was engaged and my diamond fell out. It felt weird not wearing it while it ws being fixed so I bought a cheap replacement from there. It had a much much larger "Diamond" for about a fraction of the cost of the real one! If I am going somewhere posh I put the cheap one on so people think I am rich :o

I would keep the ring and text back that you owe me the money from the car repairs and you will only get the ring back once it's been paid in full.

Bogey, you did the research though while I just talked

Something similar happened to a friend of mine - guy actually broke off the engagement and asked her for the ring back several months later! Not to GIVE TO SOMEONE (although he was a 'charmer' too, in his own special way) but because he needed the cash. She sold it and they split the proceeds.

In principle I agree with ignoring the text but in reality I think I'd do what my friend did. She could have kept it but would have felt the situation somehow 'hanging over her' in some way.

Morally there's nothing here that you could do that's strictly speaking 'wrong' though - giving it back may be the lowest maintenance option but I agree it's a gift and if you wanted to stand your ground on that (and can bear his insane texts), go for it.

"I think I agree with posters telling me to send it back. I really don't want any reason for him to contact me again."
He will find another reason.

My ex husband asked me for my engagement and wedding ring back. Stupidly enough I gave it to him. I think I was so shocked that he asked that I gave it without thinking.

We had been together for nineteen years, married for seventeen years and had four children together.

You should keep it, it's yours.

It's one thing a fiancee asking for the ring back but a husband?? You owned that ring for 17 years!!!!!!!!! Tight arsed fuck.

No offense intended.

No offence taken Squoosh. Once I had time to think about it I called him much worse, I can assure you!

I don't think you should return the ring because if you do you're giving in to his unreasonable, and pretty unhingned, demands, and also showing him that he can change his mind as many times as he likes (he INSISTED you keep the ring after all).

Be a bit unreasonable back. Sell it and tell him you don't care if that pisses him off, and that legally he doesn't have a leg to stand on.

At the moment the process of winding you up is emotionally rewarding for him. Make it unrewarding.

cor, what a cheek! I agree with others who suggest to tell him that you've sold it. Apart from anything else, if you were to return it what other gifts will he now be trying to reclaim??
(I had mine dismantled and incorporated into a very nice wedding ring which we otherwise wouldn't have been able to afford)

It's definitly yours - don't even think of giving it back. Keep it or sell it but if he wants to get engaged again he can buy a new ring.

He will just find another excuse to contact you

OP, I really believe that if you give it back, he will find some other unreasonable reason to contact you. Sell the ring and tell him to fuck off. At least that way you will have the satisfaction of having refused to play his game, as well as the money. Who knows, it might even give him the hint that he has no place in your life now.

I agree with WhereYouLeftIt, you'd be giving him ground, he wouldn't leave you alone because he'd know he can gain ground from you.

I like badger's idea

Hmm....that's true actually, he would find another excuse because he knows that he can get to you.

Scratch the Argos ring idea and tell him to get bent.

He's used the ring as a convenient excuse to get back in contact with you. He's invented this woman (because you've got no way of knowing if she's actually real) to make you jealous, and sincerely hopes that he can fuck with your head some more because he misses being able to do so.

If you send the ring back, he will be getting what he craves - attention from you, and will ramp up his behaviour to continue getting this attention.

He wants to get his hooks back into you. Don't let him!

Forgot to add that I'd recommend changing your mobile number. He knows how to push your buttons, so lessen any and every opportunity for him to do so.

Tell him there is a lovely kissing diamonds one on Ebay at the moment!

He's invented this woman

I am not sure about that Tapir. If he had then I am certain that she would have been young, single and hot for him. Not someone he has barely spoken to and forgotten to ask if she had a BF :o If he is going for jealousy then it was an epic fail, as I laughed my head off at that bit and I bet the OP did too!