To think he should buy a new fucking engagement ring!?

[BlueSuedeStiletto]

I got a text from my ex fiance this morning saying:

"Hiya, this might sound a bit weird, but can I have the engagement ring back?? Think I may have found a new recipient!"

My face was like this .

I've not seen him for a while- since I picked the last of my stuff up- and have been distancing myself, but he didn't mention anything when I saw him. I asked him when we split if he wanted the ring back, and he said no.

Obviously I don't wear the ring, but it still means something. And what woman in their right mind would want a ring chosen by a man's ex and worn by her for nearly 3 years? I think that's pretty insulting for both of us. AIBU??

LOVING balloonslayer's text :o

I too think there is no new fiancee and he's trying to make you jealous. Given your circumstances he has no right to expect the ring back so what I'd do would depend on whether you can afford to give it back.

If it won't affect you too much financially I'd go with balloonslayer's text and send it back, not least because then all ties are severed and he has no excuse to keep contacting you. If you could use the money I'd tell him that given that he said you should do what you wished with it it has been sold, then sell it.

Then don't contact with him anymore and if he keeps texting you block him.

People get very weird about jewellery don't they,

An ex had a small box full of earrings necklaces and things mostly silver and none of them expensive ( I don't even mean subjective expensive I doubt anything was more than about 9.99 from Argos ) in the bottom of an old gym bag. It was stuff he had given as gifts then reclaimed on break up.

It's very very strange.

I can see why he is an ex tbh Sock. (did you hand back any Elizabeth Duke gold sovereign items when you split up?)

It was a gift, how low is he, to ask for it back?

Well, I can kind of see where he is coming from asking for it back.

But then it was a gift and you are perfectly entitled to keep it sell it whatever.

I'd probably give it back if I didn't need the cash as then it's a clen break and no ties remaining.

He should buy a new ring for her, yes.

He should also get the one he gave you back to do as he wishes with.

The only items he gave me were a earring necklace set made from a metal of god knows what description and a green stone. They remained in the box unworn I'm pretty sure the box disappeared with him but I could never be bothered to check.

I sold my engagement ring and bought myself some damn nice moisturising cream. Which I needed after the stress of being engaged to that utter shit.

Ignore text, sell it. Enjoy the cash. For the sake of Fiancee 2 as well as you.

Afternoon

I had the ring valued and it's worth somewhere between £300-£500. I always planned to see it when I needed the money and it really is getting towards that time. To be fair, I spent £200 on a service for his car and bought 2 new tyres a few months before we split up. He never paid his half.

I quite like the idea of getting it engraved with my name before giving it back. And I LOVE Balloon's text. I text him last night saying "Well, I offered the ring back to you and you said it was mine and to keep it. Not to keep it till you find someone else. And do you really want your new fiance to wear a ring that I chose and wore for 3 years!?"

He replied saying that he thought the law stated that the ring was his as the giver (bearing in mind we split 18months ago), and that it doesn't matter because apparently the lady in question is with someone.

So, he's not even seeing her and is planning a proposal!?

Words fail.

Don't get why you want to keep it though? Like I say, give it him back & delete his number.

Tell him you've already sold it and then sell it.

No way should you hand it back!!!!!

Helen, I was planning to sell it. It's pure laziness that I haven't yet. I think it's the principle that's bothering me- the fact that he didn't want it back until he met someone else. And having been through a crappy relationship with him that totally destroyed my self esteem, I feel for her too. How insulting to be presented with a second hand ring that was actually chosen and worn by the man's previous fiancee. It just doesn't sit well.

I doubt there is a new recipient that is female. More likely he has found somewhere to sell it.

Given he either wants the ring to make money or to dump it on another poor woman, I'd say that was confirmation for you not to hand it over.

I wouldn't give my ring back now. I have had it for 6 years ( married just over 18 months) but if we split up it would go to our daughter

I think he's just using it as an excuse to tell you there's finally someone else in his life.

From the etiquette books:

If a bride-to-be breaks the engagement, she should return the ring to her finacee. If a groom-to-be calls off the engagement, he should allow his fiancee to retain the ring.

I think Kim Kardashian had a similar argument with that guy she married, except the ring was worth $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$.

Well, according to the latest texts, he's kind of admired her from afar within a group of friends, decided he wants to not just date, but marry her, but forgot to check if she was single.

I'm not sure what to make of that really. Other then thanking my lucky stars I'm away from that!

Eeek, that sounds creepy as hell.

WhenShallWeThreeKingsMeetAgain - do you want to quote a law that states the ring is the contract and should be handed back? And was this law written since 1970?

BlueSuedeStiletto - he's trying to wind you up. Ignore him and sell it, it is legally yours to keep, you are under no obligation to return it and you wouldn't give him a donation of £500, would you?

mumof4sons - ah well, etiquette trumps law, right?

this makes me so mad!

unless the ring is a family heirloom and is given with that specific proviso, then the law is it belongs to the woman

Text back "legally, it belongs to me, check 1970 Marriage act." then refuse all other contact.

although if you are still in contact with any joint friends, I'd let them know about this. We'd have great fun winding up a friend who trying to pull a stunt like this...