To think he should buy a new fucking engagement ring!?

[BlueSuedeStiletto]

I got a text from my ex fiance this morning saying:

"Hiya, this might sound a bit weird, but can I have the engagement ring back?? Think I may have found a new recipient!"

My face was like this .

I've not seen him for a while- since I picked the last of my stuff up- and have been distancing myself, but he didn't mention anything when I saw him. I asked him when we split if he wanted the ring back, and he said no.

Obviously I don't wear the ring, but it still means something. And what woman in their right mind would want a ring chosen by a man's ex and worn by her for nearly 3 years? I think that's pretty insulting for both of us. AIBU??

My God, what a wanker he sounds! The ring is yours to dispose of as you see fit. I'd only say differently if it were a family ring, but as it isn't, tell him to get bent.

I reckon he's winding you up.

Sell the thing and have night out/holiday or send it back and tell him to use it as a cock ring

If you do decide to give it back, get your name engraved inside it first.

Oh Zachary that is inspired!

The question of her wearing a ring that you wore is a bit off centre as I think we can safely assume that the "recipient" wont know as he wont tell her!

I agree that ignoring him is probably the best option but I would be sorely tempted to reply with...

"Second hand Fiancé, second hand ring, how romantic!"

He should certainly buy a new fiancée a new ring, but that's nothing to do with you. Send it back to him and wish him your best. It's pretty low to do otherwise.

ace, that doesn't fit with this though:

section 3(2) of the Law Reform (Miscellaneous Provisions) Act 1970, which states:

The gift of an engagement ring shall be presumed to be an absolute gift; this presumption may be rebutted by proving that the ring was given on the condition, express or implied, that it should be returned if the marriage did not take place for any reason.

Oh and what's with British people educating themselves on British law by watching Judge Judy???

Bogeyface, why would you insult his new fiancée? What has she got to do with it?

I wasnt insulting her, I was insulting him! Admittedly it could be seen that I was insulting her but thats not what I meant.

He's trying to make you jealous.

Unless the engagement ring was a family heirloom, it's yours. If he bought it new, its yours. If it came from his great grandma, you have to return it.

If you don't wear it give it him back - what's the problem?

He doesn't really want the ring back, he's just trying to annoy/make you jealous you for whatever reason (probably 'cos he's a git).

Just read back story. Text him back, tell him sorry but you have sold the ring after he insisted you kept it. Wish him good luck with everything. Do not respond to any further messages.

I think he is trying to make you feel guilty but you don't need to waste all that energy on feeling guilty/ hurt/ whatever on him. Its been a while since you split and he insisted you kept the ring. So keep it and put it on eBay today.

God if you were engaged for 3 years it would have a definite "vintage" look to it !

YANBU what a cheapskate

I do like the idea of having your name/s engraved in it (or at least telling him it has, and asking if he's sure that'll go down well).

Unless very valuable and in need of the cash, I think I'd give it back at this point. It's an anecdote that reinforces lucky escape.

DH and I choose my engagement ring together.

We were students, broke and had only known each other a few weeks,

He insisted on paying for my ring (I'd have happily gone halves).

So we agreed, if we split, I'd pay half and keep it (as it would look daft on his hairy fingers).

24 years on I would keep to that deal, although two DCs later I can't get it on.

I wouldn't sell it, it's not valuable and it would go to whichever DD liked it and my eternity ring (which is just a pretty dress ring, to the other).

As for the OPs cheapskate X just tell him you've lost it or thrown it down a drain.
You don't ask for gifts back.

I said I'd pay for 1/2 of mine, because I never saw it as a gift from DH to me, but as a symbol that we were serious, to the rest of the world.

Its of no use to you really except as a bit of cash. Unless its worth thousands, it won't fetch much (I sold mine) so I would be tempted to give it back.

Blimey I'd let him have it back and be constantly about what the new GF would say to him if she found out.

I had a boyfriend years ago who went on holiday and brought me back a little charm thing to hang on a necklace (no necklace). I broke off with him not long after, and presently he sought me out and asked for it back as he had met someone new and wanted to give it to her. I wasn't upset but rather highly amused at what her reaction would have been - he was extremely tactless (one of the reasons I'd dumped him) and I could imagine the conversation.

Him: I've got this charm for you. I bought it for Balloonslayer when I was on holiday but she chucked me so now I want you to have it.

Her: Thanks it's lovely. Just as well she chucked you before you gave it to her, eh? Hahahaha

Him: Oh I'd already given it to her. But I went and asked for it back when I met you.

Her:

[one week lateurrrrr...]

Him: Please could I have the charm back, I have met someone I would like to give it to, as you have broken up with me.

Her: There you go mate.

and this is IMO why the woman should always be present at the choosing of the ring.

and what's all this "it's pretty low not to give it back" crap - she was given it as a gift. she asked the ex if he wanted it back and he said no. not "no not until I find someone else for it."

If it means nothing then I would sell it.

First, take it in and have your initials and his engraved inside with some hearts and will always love you stuff.

Then give it back.

Give him a ring from a cracker,tell him to Fuck off, sell the real ring and spend the proceeds on the best bottle of Champagne money can buy.
Move on from this low life and don't ever have any more contact.

My DH has just said after l read OP out that what you should do is pawn it, get the money, then tell him where it is so he can buy it back if he wants it.

mental note, l'll have to watch him !