MN IS NOW OFFICIALLY A JOKE FREE ZONE BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS REALLY SERIOUS AND GUARANTEED TO OFFEND SOMEONE SOMEWHERE IN A CUPBOARD IN 1970

[Hullygully]

No jokes please.

1. No jokes about my dh walks a bit funny.

Because real people walk a bit funny and it is SERIOUS. I HAVE REPORTED YOU.

1. No jokes about furriners go ome or goats because real people face this everyday and it is SERIOUS I HAVE REPORTED YOU

I HAVE REPORTED EVERYONE EVERYWHERE FOR EVERYTHING JUST IN CASE

FFS

Miranda is not funny

But the blokey in it is tremendously shaggable. Sometimes I watch it for that reason. With the sound of

off, even.

My birth certificate has sadly disappeared.

I am 18.

Even though my eldest is 14. So I gave birth at 4.

I am not offended by youth.

I am just slightly sorry for it....

Don't ever cross anyone/give opinions about a lazy freeloading partner who tells his poor PND suffering missus (who runs around like a blue arsed fly all day cooking, cleaning and looking after a baby) that he wishes his DD was never born COS HE MIGHT HAVE FEELINGS AND BE ALL ILL HIMSELF. Not just a lazy, reprehensible knobhead

OR I'LL REPORT YOU!

Ditto admissions of past drug taking

OR I'LL BE ALL OFFENDED AND REPORT YOUR ARSE TO MUMSNET AND CRIMEWATCH FOR GOOD MEASURE

goes back to her sarky 1970s cupboard

even though I wasn't born until 1982

rusty I'm offended by your denial

I honestly don't think I have been offended on here. Think I may have offended others though, not too sure.

shit have you been on the sniff again fellow?

I noticed that, Scrambled. Bleddy, eh? said I. Aha.

I am a bit at the point that the Larkers bash the Po and the Po aren't allowed to bash the Larkers. Have I imagined the eleventy million Bullying Bastard Derailing Ilk threads, then? I know I can't find them, but I thought tat's because they'd pfftd, not cos I imagined them.

Of what your birth cert says counts than I have a problem, because that would in fact make me a man. An actual man. And I'm afraid I can't be having that.

I painted my DDs room using dulux. I didn't do the skirting boards. I didn't move the heavy arse wardrobe either

I had a very awkward meeting today with the guy who's responsible for email screening software (fortunately with other people around) who was all "you'll never GUESS the stuff we pick up" and there's me sitting there thinking "DON'T LOOK AT ME DON'T LOOK AT ME OH BOLLOCKS HE'S LOOKING AT ME"

I am never a cunt

and

I am always right.

We are all always right.

It's the law.

hully you are a bit of a cunt

I'm a shining example of what members of MN aim to be

HD, you are a dude?

But I am rightest

That is the Ultimate Truth

I think yours is worse. This guy just knows me as You're their mother