To be annoyed by him coming on to me around our kids?

[jenrose29]

DD1 is 5 yrs old, DD2 is 5 months old, DP is a randy bugger. At weekends we have the kids in bed for cuddles in the morning, DP is always stroking me etc and his 'excitement' is evident. I'm sure if I allowed him to he'd do stuff regardless of the kids. For me, it's irritating and spoils what should be a nice time with the kids. I'm by no means frigid but having the kids there just means I'm not in that mind-set. Yesterday I was breastfeeding a sleeping DD2 on the sofa, DP bent in to give me a kiss, was excited and later said he'd been hoping I'd give him a BJ. Am I being unreasonable to be irritated by his (in my opinion) inappropriate randiness?

Yanbu...what is he? 14?
I would find this gross. Once maybe...regularly? Do fuck off there's a lad.

Erm...that's a bit weird

Totally inappropriate [hshock]

YANBU

That's very inappropriate, looking for blowjobs and getting aroused during family time.

Bloody hell. Your oldest is old enough to remember this into adulthood ffs! Tell him it's utterly inappropriate - abusive in my view - and needs to stop immediately

It is a bit off when the dc's are there, has he always been this forward? As for expecting a bj when your feeding, that is just awful!

Ewww no that is WRONG! Especially with a 5 year old!
Send him to the bathroom with a box of tissues!!!

Seriously weird. He wanted you to suck his cock when you were feeding your baby?

Its grim: at best its childish and at worst it is abusive.

It depends if it comes from an attitude that you are there to service his sexual needs when it suits him. It would be a bit of a warning sign for me, how much of a warning sign would depend on his behaviour overall. i.e. if he's generally a nice bloke but a bit stupid about this then I would tell him to have cold shower but if he's generally a bit selfish, thinks his needs should come first in other things then I would take it more seriously.

Just to add - it's not just around the kids, it is pretty constant. DD2 co-sleeps and I usually put her to bed then go back downstairs, by which point DP is usually naked...the other night he'd made a make shift bed on the floor and set up his camcorder to film us. I feel harassed.

i'm afraid i agree with all the other posters on here, totally inapropriate.

BUT, are you calling the kids in, and encouraging them into your private space in order to have an excuse not to be intimate?

Another recruit for the cast of The Imbetweeners ?

Tell this creepy fuck to stay the hell away from you. Ideally, permanently

I'm leaning towards saying this is abusive given what you have just posted. You are not just there to meet his needs whenever he wants.

Have you made it quite clear that his behaviour is repugnant?

What HappyHalloween said.

Inappropriate, borderline abusive and not fair on you or the children. Why would you even contemplate putting up with this?

No I'm not using the kids as an excuse, kids just wake up early and DD1 always comes in for cuddles as we don't get the chance on school days.

Leave the bastard?

Oh my god!!! I'm not usually so shocked by stuff on here but really?? He is harassing you, I would tell him to back off totally. Set a rule where he isn't allowed to initiate anything for at least a month to a) give you some space and b) give you some control over your body and your sex drive. Then if you want something to happen then you can initiate it.
If my dh greeted me with anything other than a cup of tea after putting the kids to bed he'd be getting a DIY snip!

Ugh, he sounds creepy.

And a camera? I'm not a prude (honestly) but there's no way my big white butt is getting captured on camera!

What did you say to him when you saw the camcorder?

Have you had sex since dd2 was born? His attitude would seriously put me off and I wouldn't want to shag him if he was constantly referring to it, I'd feel pressured into it.

The bed one happened a few times, I tried pushing him away a few times/pulling clothes back up/down before just taking the kids downstairs - is difficult to say anything at the time as DD1 is very switched on but I have made it clear that I just am not interested when kids are awake. When DD1 is at school he thinks it would be fine if we put DD2 on her play mat and get it on. Listening to her cooing would just not let me get in that mindset.

Yuk! YANBU at all.

He needs to back off, especially around the children.

How long have you been together?