To be annoyed by him coming on to me around our kids?

[jenrose29]

DD1 is 5 yrs old, DD2 is 5 months old, DP is a randy bugger. At weekends we have the kids in bed for cuddles in the morning, DP is always stroking me etc and his 'excitement' is evident. I'm sure if I allowed him to he'd do stuff regardless of the kids. For me, it's irritating and spoils what should be a nice time with the kids. I'm by no means frigid but having the kids there just means I'm not in that mind-set. Yesterday I was breastfeeding a sleeping DD2 on the sofa, DP bent in to give me a kiss, was excited and later said he'd been hoping I'd give him a BJ. Am I being unreasonable to be irritated by his (in my opinion) inappropriate randiness?

Jen i bet there are people on here that could help you move, if it means you will be rid of him straight away. I am in Bristol and could help you

I have read this, and some of the OP's other threads. jenrose, your dd has (or had) selective mutism.

This means her school will have been involved in some way with support for you and her - if you have found the school supportive, can you ask them for ideas on who/where to ask for help with your move? You do need to inform them of disruption to your dd's family life, to enable her teacher to perhaps offer even more support and understanding to her.

The school may know of local sources of help, may be able to refer you for family support ( a paid person who gives you practical hands-on assistance).

It's worth a try, because you sound isolated and it's hard to organise something like this with 2 kids.

Jen do you need to move??

I KNOW that there are MNetters that would come and give you a hand if you tell us where you are. I have seen it many, many times on here. No-one is judging you. Everyone just wants you get away from this animal before any more harm is done - to you and your children.

Jen, where are you in the country? I know what it's like to have nobody. But I have a car and lots of spare time to help you move if youd like help.

Jen, it sounds like you are formulating a good plan. So glad that you are leaving this 'man'. But I'm worried for you about the next 3 weeks. Are you going to have to keep having sex with him every day until then so he doesn't cotton on? That sounds beyond hideous. You need to make up some medical problem with your downstairs so sex is medically not advisable at this time. Can anyone recommend some good 'conditions'?
Are you scared of how he may react when you break up with him?
I think you should contact some of the organisations mentioned above, and get some sound advice from them. Maybe they can help with volunteers to help you move, so you can break up with him sooner, and the day you move it will feel like a fresh new start and you can be happy. It will be a 'first day of the rest of your life' feeling.
What about the ex husband? Could he be persuaded to help you move? After all it is helping his daughter get away from this awful man.
I hope you are ok Jen, and I wish you luck. I know you are v intelligent (read you are a Cambridge grad) so you have unbelievable resources of your own, you don't need this man bringing you down. X x

Wow mumsnetters are so lovely nice to see all them support on here

Sounds to me like you are starting to face up to your situation and it must be really tough. Sending you all best wishes.

please do call womens aid locally there may be local service you can access support. maybe help to move etc.

i know you focused on moving etc but you need some rl local support - maybe go talk to police. dv unit.
he is very likely not going to go quietly, you know that dont you?

if you keep him sweet til you move, you need to have plans in place for when he turns up on doorstep. demanding to see you/baby etc. ie firm resolve to call police and have him speak to you via a solicitor.
talk them thru with local womens aid.
speak to local police .
and get a solictor in place regarding access to your baby afterwards. .

take this v seriously =- you dont know what he will be capable of when you not there keping him sweet...

and see gp about cousnelling for you... if you like sex with him in the right place and at the right time is going to v hard for you emotionally to cut off right? you could be tempted v easily right?

and from his point of view - one minute you all over him (from his pov) then suddenly you saying bugger off? how on earth do you think he will take it? "oh all right jen i understand" ? as he clealry isnt reasonable man however charing etc - expect the worst reaction so you can put measures in place....

take on board the reaction on here - how truly awful it sounds.
talk it thru with womens aid they can help you plan your exit and put things in place legally...

good luck with all of this

Jen
I am so glad to hear you are taking positive steps. It must be hard for you. Very best of luck.

I'm in shropshire. I have arthritis, so no use for packing, but I can watch kids etc.

Im in Devon with a car (albeit a small one) and free time. If you're nearby I can come and help you pack. I have tools and am handy with a screw driver.

Please accept help. You don't need this man.

This thread is probably one of the most upsetting things I have read on Mumsnet. I read your OP to my DP. His response was "that man sounds like he needs to be in prison".

Jen I hope and pray you get away from this man, if you are anywhere in the Manchester area I will gladly help you in any way I can, I don't have a car though unfortunately. PM me.

I'm in Surrey and can help

Thrush is always handy for wanting to avoid sex. Especially as it keeps flaring up

Hope you are ok too. Wishing you and your daughters well. Xx

Also in Surrey / West Sussex, with an estate car with roofracks, so plenty of room for boxes and things! Happy to help...

I'm in bristol. I'll help you move. Good for you for having a plan to get away.

Jen, I wondered if you had moved and how you were doing.