To be annoyed by him coming on to me around our kids?

[jenrose29]

DD1 is 5 yrs old, DD2 is 5 months old, DP is a randy bugger. At weekends we have the kids in bed for cuddles in the morning, DP is always stroking me etc and his 'excitement' is evident. I'm sure if I allowed him to he'd do stuff regardless of the kids. For me, it's irritating and spoils what should be a nice time with the kids. I'm by no means frigid but having the kids there just means I'm not in that mind-set. Yesterday I was breastfeeding a sleeping DD2 on the sofa, DP bent in to give me a kiss, was excited and later said he'd been hoping I'd give him a BJ. Am I being unreasonable to be irritated by his (in my opinion) inappropriate randiness?

If I disappear it's to sort baby out, not because I'm avoiding what you're saying...

You don't put up with it. You leave. Why, because he doesn't want to get 'unsubtle hints', you're a fucktoy to him.

Just get rid.

have you spoken to him about this?

Of course he gets the hint!

He just doesn´t want to take it.

I have told him nothing will ever happen around the kids. I don't know what I can say about him getting aroused whenever we kiss/cuddle - what do we do, never kiss or cuddle?

Tell him the constant uninvited groping is sexual assualt.

No he keeps his erection to himself.

JenRose

"Other forms of subtle sexual abuse include fondling us in public places or in front of our family and friends when we feel uncomfortable or embarrassed about this, or any other form of repeated touching which we have told him makes us feel uncomfortable or we don't like."

Quotation is from this page at the bottom
www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/subtle_sexual_abuse.html

It really isn't not acceptable behaviour.

should read
It really is not

so when you are being straightforward and saying no...is he still pursuing/touching/carrying on regardless???...what happens if you are annoyed by this and demand he stops ...have you done this, or have you given in and done what he has demanded of you?....do you know what he would be like if you insisted he stop his behaviour?

Jenrose - you seem unconcerned and ignoring the posts that are really telling you clearly you are being abused and your dc are at risk of abuse. Please wake up and smell the bacon.

jen you cannot go on like this , it's abnormal behaviour from him and do you honestly think he will get the message to change?

Have a serious talk about how you feel but I get the sense he'll be touching you up within 5 minutes and completely ignoring anything you say.

Well he sounds like a disgusting pig of a human being.

Not at risk of abuse. The kids are already being abused.

And what you can do is tell him to sling his arse. That is what you should do!

umm, yes. until he gets the hint.

if dh treated me like this, I wouldn't want to have sex with him and would tell him that if he can't control himself (which, btw is an insulting lie, made up by rape apologists to excuse victim blaming - men can control themselves, rapists won't) then you will have to stop kissing/cuddling. he's not a fucking teenager.

I echo what others are saying LTB

Even reading about this man is making me feel ill. How you can share a bed with him is beyond me.

You are missing the point OP.

This man is insisting on having sex IN FRONT OF SMALL CHILDREN. He is a VERY NASTY MAN.

You don't deal with it. You throw him out!!!

I have to say, I agree with the posters saying "leave him" but the op won't. Ive been on mn long enough to recognise the ones who will leave and the ones who will bury their heads in the sand.

I'll bet you London to a brick the ex dumped him after his sexual abuse and he never sees those kids because he shouldn't be within 100 yards of any child. I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't have a restraining order against him.

Disgusting sex abuser.

This man sounds horrible
I really feel for you JenRose as it sounds just awful and unrelentless, however I feel for the children more. I think its been made clear that he will not take on board your feelings on him groping you around the children so you need to take steps to remove him from your lives. Otherwise your children will grow up with this behaviour continuing around them. Your DD won't ever want to bring friends home. It could lead to them both making terrible choices when they come to pick their own boyfriends and sexual partners. Please think of the longterm implications.

I have no idea why you would want to kiss or cuddle this man. He makes me feel physically sick. He has no respect for you, all he cares about is getting his end away. Do you think he is faithful? From this over sexed inappropriate behaviour I would seriously doubt he could be.
Get a real man. One who respects and loves you and where sex is about more than him getting satisfied. He is a pig.

Right, I'm sure you get the gyst here OP. This is eyes a google stuff that he's doing which is serious shit. People can't even say more than a horrific sentence on here which only happens in cases where it's almost unbelievable.

Sweetheart, this is so so wrong it really is. I for one actually want to come round and cut it off him. Do you get it OP?

In saying that, everyone is so here for you, help is abundant.