to be annoyed when parents send their DC's with a bag full of sweets and chocolate when they come to our house for tea?

[Stuffedcat]

WHY??
I will provide your child a snack. Hey, sometimes I even bake some biscuits or something. I would never dream of sending food with my DC if they have been invited somewhere.

I have now adopted the strategy of sending food back unopened and uneaten with an "it's ok I made cakes" and hope I don't offend but the message might get through.

I would have assumed the chocs were a present for me and scoffed the lot as soon as the children weren't looking

AIBU for not letting the 3 year old not drink her bottle coca cola before beftime?

It depends - does loading their DC up with sweets imply that they think you're not going to give them anything? I'd be a bit irritated by that.

I wouldn't go to dinner at someone's house without taking a bottle of wine. But neither would I go taking my own dinner with me - it would imply I didn't think their hospitality was up to snuff. I think that is what is bothering OP.

Oh Scare please don't say it implies anything, Please.

Kids can't drink wine (the default adult offering to a host) so what is the equivalent? Sweets.

It implies fuck all apart from you think it would be a nice gesture to send your kid with some sweets.

In ten years of 'kids for tea' I have never known this, ever. If it did happen I'd think 'thank you' not swerve off into a paranoia driven state thinking it deeply meant something about me as a person - sheesh! And to give them back with a message, I avoid you and your children like the plague if you had done that to me. 'no more teas at little (insert name of child here) because he Mummy is a bit weird'

At first I thought you meant the visiting children brought sweets only for themselves. Now that would indeed be odd. But bringing something for your hosts, to add to the meal, is a very kind and thoughtful gesture. I'm baffled as to why you would be annoyed by it.

usual it's been a weird old day on here today hasn't it?

If you understand that people are doing it with a nice motive, as a gesture to the host - the child equivalent of bringing wine - does it make it any better?

Sorry everyone, but I'm with OP on this one. DD has v poor enamel on teeth and lots of (dried fruit caused) fillings. Sweets cakes etc vv rationed accordingly, kinder egg or similar on Saturday and Sunday.
People who bring or offer sweets etc causes real embarrassment for DD as she is not allowed them, and I end up looking a weird mean parent.
Party bags a similar issue. At a recent party, DD was offered cola, sweet popcorn, candy floss and a jar of sweets...this caused no end of tears and drama...
Bringing a gift is a lovely idea, though, but why not something craft-y etc made by the visiting child?

I've got a friend whose 2 kids are always nagging for food, always hungry. They are never allowed to eat until they are actually satisfied. my friend was overweight as a kid/teen so she worries too much. sweets are disapproved of and strictly rationed and therefore, obviously, irresistable my own child is perfectly brought up on an exemplary diet

the child equivalent of bringing wine

'Xactly how I see it. Within my circle of 'friends with kids', it's just what we do. No big deal!

I appreciate what you are saying Cocky but if the parents don't know then there's not much you can do about it. Explain to them?

I'd prefer people don't do this, because I will already have plenty of treats laid on for visitors, so it will only mean that we will end up eating even more because we have no will power. I wouldn't send it back as it would seem rude, so we would either eat it or if we ever got any will power I'd throw it away. I wouldn't give it away as most people i know wouldn't thank me for sending temptation their way! So yes I'd rather people didn't do this but would appreciate they were doing it as a kind gesture, so wouldn't send it back.

Wow. It's polite to take something to someone's house if you've been invited over for dinner or whatever surely? Most folk I know do it.

Honestly - how rude are you?

Those parents were being considerate & thought it was a nice gesture. Have the decency to accept it in that spirit instead of sending back a snotty note about how you made cakes .

If it's all too much, put some way in the cupboard for a later date - but sending back what is essentially a gift? Fucking hell...some people.

I am fed up of MN making me doubt every little thing I do.

Shit. I do this. I normally send dd around with some cakes or sweets to share with her friends. It's supposed to be a kind gesture. My mum told us to never go around someone's house empty handed, because its rude.

I don't know anyone who does this! Is it the done thing in some places? Regional, maybe?

Cockypants, lighten up dear. .

My daughter's friend came home from school with her once and gave me a pack of 6 eggs . Apparantly her mum thought it would be rude to send her empty handed and that's all she had in :o.

"I'm really glad that my friends are normal when I read shit like this... "

Me too!

Obviously if there is some other issue such as the child they are visiting is overweight, or have problems with their teeth I would send something more appropriate, but generally there is np problem with this!

Dried fruit caused fillings? Wtaf? You are actually taking the piss aren't you? Please tell me you are.