to be annoyed when parents send their DC's with a bag full of sweets and chocolate when they come to our house for tea?

[Stuffedcat]

WHY??
I will provide your child a snack. Hey, sometimes I even bake some biscuits or something. I would never dream of sending food with my DC if they have been invited somewhere.

I have now adopted the strategy of sending food back unopened and uneaten with an "it's ok I made cakes" and hope I don't offend but the message might get through.

I visited my best friend today, haven't seen her in a few weeks. I took an apple crumble, a wheaten, and 3 choc covered apples for her dc.

Hope she doesn't think I assume she doesn't feed them!!!

Are you the type of tight fisted git who turns up to dinner empty handed?

I'm really glad that my friends are normal when I read shit like this...

Sometimes they've got some sweets. Sometimes they haven't. If they do have an awful lot of sweets, I remove them before the dear little creatures guzzle the lot and let them have them back when a satisfactory quantity of reasonable healthy food is gone.

You can hope your note isn't offensive as much as you like, but it is, and YABU.

Would you be pissed off if you'd organised a dinner party and adult guests brought a bottle of wine? Because its the same principle, manners. Sending thing back with a snotty note indicates a lack of them.

Just noticed the bit about sending the gifts back with a note. Oh dear. I would be a bit if someone sent something back to me.
Maybe if you don't want them, just put them in the cupboard for another day?

Like I said, if I sent a treat with my dd and it was returned with a comment like yours, I'd be outraged and would not be in a hurry to repeat the experience. I'm sure your message is getting through but it will probably say more about the chip on your shoulder than about about your ability to provide for visitors.

I don't send a note i just mention it.
Good god some of the abuse on here, it's a bloody good job I have a thick skin, anyway clearly I am being unreasonable so next time I think I'll keep them and stock up our cupboards.

What's the problem.... Its a gesture of goodwill! Grow up

What most of the other posters said. If DD's asked out, she takes a treat - homemade cakes or biscuits if I have time, sweets otherwise. If a friend asked me round for dinner I'd take wine or chocolates. What's the difference?

My DDs see it as the same as me/OH taking a bottle of wine/naice chocs when we are invited to a friend's house. It's polite to take a small gift. Their friends also bring something when they come here.

What did annoy me was SIL bringing food for everyone when invited for lunch/dinner, because I'm not a veggie, but that was a different matter. This is just kids bringing a treat to share with friends.

Yes stuffedcat.... give them to trick or treaters?

If you had thick skin you wouldn't be getting all arsey about a kind gesture Stuffed. Get cross about stuff that's worth it?

Wow! I'd think that was really nice if someone sent their DC with something. I certainly wouldn't see it was an insult

I don't see how you can return it-accept it in the spirit it is given.

When you are invited as a dinner guest do you turn up empty handed?
Excellent way of introducing to children how to be a gracious guest.

Oh and 'I'll kepp tjem and stock up our cupboards' is just as weird! Why wouldn't you let the children share what the visiting child has bought?!

No-one agrees = abuse.

M'kay.

It depends what you call a bag of sweets and chocolate?

What was sent?
How old are the dc?

Don't keep it in your cupboards though if the parent asks their child if they enjoyed the chocolate or whatever, the child will say 'no', so they'll know you kept it. Iyswim

Damn crappy ipad typing

Just collected my DD from a play date. Sent her with Halloween cakes. Hopefully my name wont be mud tomorrow in the school playground [hhmm]

I sometimes send fruit as a thank you with my child. Never thought it could offend

You should be ashamed of yourself Bally. Oh no hang on, only be ashamed if they were shop bought. Did the cakes come back?

I usually send something small in a a gesture of thanks. DD is a guest in their house and the act teaches her good manners. I don't pack a bag full though - just a few nice small biscuits or two small fairy cakes. One of DD's friend brought to our house a box of cherry tomatoes she'd helped her parents grow in their garden. That was the best gift ever!

I think it is insulting to send stuff back.

Let them all share it after they have eaten their meal, perhaps let them have a couple of sweets when they first come round.