to want to shake some sense into a clueless 38 week pregnant friend?

[Amyo83]

Bear with me, this has quite a bit of a background story but please read all because I could really do with some advice...

Just over a week ago the boyfriend gets a text from a heavily pregnant friend (HPF)? in Hong Kong asking if he still has a spare room as HPF needs to come over to the UK to have the baby in order for the baby to qualify for a UK passport.

HPF manages to find an airline to fly her over at 37 weeks and she arrives with the plan to go into a clinic, have the baby, register the birth, get a passport for DC and fly back 2 weeks later. Later finds out that she can't fly until at least DC is 4 weeks old.

HPF arrives and it transpires that despite having 37 weeks to get things organised, she has nothing really for DC, here in the UK or in HK and is completely clueless in all aspects of childbirth, aftercare and looking after a newborn.

HPF's mother is due to arrive on the 30th (HPF's due date is the 2nd Nov) however she plans on only staying a week and her DH plans to fly over as soon as she starts having contractions. They all plan to fit into boyfriend's tiny boy flat, rendering him homeless and having to take shelter at mine.

We want to help HPF, she desperately needs it. HPF seems to think she can do everything herself, doesn't want to buy too much as she'll have to ship it back to HK and doesn't want to inconvenience anyone. However its very difficult to accept this when she claimed she didn't know what a cot was and believes she can just carry the baby everywhere. And don't get me started on her never hearing of PND and the concern of her being on her own without any preparation in an alien part of London with no-one around her.

Boyfriend and I have tried talking to HPF. We've spoken to friends with babies for their advice but HPF wont listen (we don't have children but like to think we have some common sense). So I'm after some help, stories, what to expect - the good and the bad. Advice to be directed to her (and a little bit to us as no doubt we will be involved in actually helping her once DC is here. We get the feeling that DH is just as clueless.)

So after your initial WTF reaction, which no doubt you will have reading this (everyone else has) please shower us with your knowledge and experience of newborn life for us to print this thread off and subtly leave it stuck to the fridge for HPF to hopefully read. Of course HPF has not read one book on any related subject.

Haven't read all of the thread (sorry!) but one of the the biggest things about having a new baby is that you have no time. The baby may want to be stuck to you permanently!

You can be helpful by

• stocking the freezer with some nice (homecooked?) meals for her to have.
• turning up and offering to make tea / mind the baby while she has a nap / shower / whatever.
• showing her mumsnet so she can get answers to questions like "my baby has been feeding for 4 hours / hasn't pooed / has yellow puke - is this normal?" etc

Gawd, I've just read a story in the paper about a woman en route from South Africa to Britian who gave birth mid-flight. They made a landing in Malta to get them to hospital after the birth.

I'm not sure I'd be keen on a long-haul flight so late in pregnancy!

What nationality will the baby have if it's born in mid-air?

Planes in the air are under the jurisdiction of the nation where the plane is registered. That country may or not not grant nationality based on jus solis. As soon as a plane lands the country it's in has jurisdiction.

I am interested to know which airline will fly her at 37 weeks. I flew long haul at 30 weeks and that I had to do with various doctors letters.

Flew with BA in the end but had to have a doctor's certificate from an airline doctor and not just her own to be able to board the plane.

You need to get your boyfriend to cough up with helping with groceries....maybe give him a shopping list

Is your HPF aware that she will need to register the baby's birth before she can apply for a passport to take the baby back to HK.

Depending on the rules in different areas, she may not be able to make an appointment to register the birth until after the baby is born. She may then have to wait up to six weeks for her appointment.

So it may be longer than she expects before she can fly home again.

Hi amyo83 I was vaguely interested in this thread until you mentioned poplar. I live there! PM me if you need help, I have a 3yo and a 6mo so might have stuff to lend if necessary. No need to buy it or take it to hk!

If friend is needing address she only actually needs to live there until midwife and health visitor bugger off, circa 10 days after birth. After that she can get a flat if she is rich.

Whole thing sounds very odd though. Mum coming for a week - she does know that "full term" is anything from 37 to 42 weeks right? And that induction might take a while even then? Hope she has a laid back baby or she is going to get a shock!

Hi Amy, delighted to hear about the mattress protector! Still having the dreams about the tiny baby?
Please update us if/when anything exciting happens.

Hi, any update yet? Any baby yet? :)

I didn't think any airline would let you fly at 37 weeks? What airline did she fly with

No baby yet but guess it could be any day now...

On the plus side her mum has decided to come over now and is arriving tomorrow morning. We think she's staying for two weeks too which is good. On another bizarre side our friend mentioned that she has friends in Hammersmith and was thinking of perhaps staying there closer to her due date as it would be easier to get to the hospital. We thought it a little odd that she hadn't thought of this earlier.

No more dreams about the tiny baby - although I did have a lot of red wine that night so that may have caused them rather than the constant talk of babies!

Still love her optimism that the baby will arrive bang on her due date and they'll go see the Chelsea champions league match next week - babies first football match (that's if it arrives on time!)

halcyondays she flew with BA. Originally had a flight booked with New Zealand Air but they refused to let her on the plane without a doctors certificate from an airline doctor - she had a certificate from her own. Once she got the certificate from the airline, BA were happy to have her on board. To Fly To Serve as they now like to say...

I know all BA cabin crew are trained on how to deliver a baby, maybe they are itching to put it into practise

Hi Amy... so maybe the mattress protector will turn out to be unnecessary

Pleased to hear her mum's over now.

I'm watching this space....

Ok, so the events since Tuesday evening...

Wednesday first thing the mum arrives. Thursday baby's head is engaged so mother and friend say that husband has to fly over now. Friday 4pm the husband arrives. Friday 8:30 pm friend and mother are trying to force feed us lasagna, we politely declined and cooked a friday night roast for us instead. Friday midnight friend wakes up with contractions. 2:40 am (Saturday morning) baby arrives at Queen Charlottes Hospital in Hammersmith. Note, for anyone needing a taxi that will take someone in labour in the Poplar area, Station Cars by Chrisp Street Market is your company!

Everyone fine and healthy. Little boy is born weighing 7lb 2oz. They're coming back to boyfriend's flat today however its now clear that the mother and the husband are not the best of friends and the mother is already seeking out trying to stay at my boyfriend's mum's house!

Passport countdown is on! We fly on holiday next Sunday (with boyfriend's mum), away for two weeks and hopefully they'll only be there for another week when we get back. Boyfriend seriously missing his own boy-flat (me on the other hand totally loving having him here!)

Ooh congratulations to her and to you on the imminent return of you bus fla (hopefully). Maybe this will persuade him you 2 need to take the next step and move in together / get engaged / whatever! :-)