How would you feel if your 24 year old daughter was in a relationship with a...

[ThatAwfulWoman]

... man 25 years older?

Would it worry you or would his age not make a difference to you?

My elderly parent has just died, the last of that generation. My DCs (in their twenties) have seen how exhausting it is trying to aid/ be a companion to/ care for / ferry to and from hospital visits/ push in wheelchair elderly rellies. The age gap between me and my elderly rellies has been around 25 -30 years.

Because of this I think my DCs would run a mile from a much older partner.

So what sort of stuff should I look out for and be wary of? I guess I can only think short term because who knows about the future...

The same sort of things that you'd look out for in any other relationship your DC's were having

I have only had one experience of a partners DC being the same age as me (she was a few months older and was the one who introduced us bizarely). It was fine but kind of push us apart as friends as I spent more time with him than her. He was actually a twat and less mature at 42 than I was at 17!

It is difficult to say what to look out for, at the moment nothing as everything is ok but how will you feel when you are 55 and he is 80, do either of you want to get married and have children eventually.

It is really hard as I have always been attracted to older men and I am not sure I would have ever thought about the future if I am totally honest. I think you just have to go with how you feel but if you ever feel that you are compromising too much then maybe its time to call it a day.

My mum was 16 years younger than my Dad - she was 21 and he was 37 when they met. Her family weren't all that happy about it, telling her she'd be left a young widow - but they had a wonderfully happy marriage for 51 years, and it was my mum who died first, at 73, and my Dad has been a widower for 12 years - he's now 102. So you just can't tell.

Also, my 24 year old nephew married a 40 year old woman with two children a couple of years ago - they seem very happy, and my sister loves her daughter in law.

That's a very lovely story RustyBear, very heartwarming.

I hope DH and I get as long together. I was 21, him 35 when we met so very similar.

Lovely story! I try not to think about what may happen in the future - I can't think about not having DH around and who knows - it may be me first. I wouldn't have not got together with him even if I knew for definite I would be widowed for a long time - he's still worth it!

she is an adult and can make her own descisions, but be there for her if it falls apart because you are her mother.
Maybe gently advise that the age difference might be difficult when they are older