is DH being controlling? he doesn't want me to wear fancy dress on a mates birthday night out

[WoodlandHills]

He doesn't much like my friend anyway, as he deems her to be "chavvy" and "tarty"
He also implies she is a bad influence on me (again, ffs, I'm a grown woman) as she is in quite a bad relationship (in fact she is one of the friends I was talking about in my last thread re men who don't do childcare, if anyone read it) so she is flirty when she is out and likes to get mens attention. Which, while that is not my thing, I think is totally up to her, its not my place to judge. Although fwiw I have said to her if she wants flirt with other men she would be better off ending her present relationship. I wish I hadn't told DH stuff about her as this just gives him more ammo to dislike her :(

Anyway she turns 30 soon and is organising a night out just her female mates. She wants us all to wear fancy dress and go clubbing. Which tbh I thought will be good, cheesy fun. Me and her are going as sexy policewomen (sorry sorry ) and we both bought our outfits at the weekend online.

I mentioned this to DH today and he really got the MASSIVE arse, saying it was "disrespectful" to our OHs to go out "dressed like slappers" and saying men will be perving over us, etc, etc, anyway the upshot is he REALLY doesn't want me to wear the outfit.

This is being controlling, right? Or not? What would other peoples OHs think if they were in that situation? What should I do? She is quite a new-ish friend and I really like her and I really want to go on this night out :(

That outfit is totally slapper, so I get where he thinks she's a a 'chavvy tart' , because you would need to be to even think about going out in that.

OP-would you have chosen it yourself or did your friend suggest it?

I do wonder why dressing up to go clubbing has to be short & tight.

Where are some of you lot going out to have formed these opinions and be spouting them as fact?

I dress up, I have never been treated differently to how I am normally! I have had propositions, yes, and they've always been respectful and polite when turned down.

I've only ever kissed one person on a night out - and he was a police officer, and I found out the next day that he had a fiance.

I don't know where this idea that if you dress up you're going to be followed by creeps comes from.

Thankfully, none of the women I've ever met have been insecure enough to assume I'm out to get their man or whatever, either.

I have done policewoman, bees,sailors, air hostess, army, raver, nurses,devils,fairies etc and never had any problems or got off with any men on a night out

I have a friend who was banned from doing it by her boyfriend but he was a freak.He also bought her stockings and suspenders for the bedroom and had sex with her in them then after said she was a dirty slut who probably cheats because she enjoyed it and smashed her bedroom up. Not rational behaviour.

Why would you want to look like that?

Sorry, but that outfit is just horrid. I thought you'd have tight blouse with some badges on it and a pair of handcuffs, mini skirt sort of thing. That's not a police outfit, that's a stripper outfit.

I think you should think about why your friend is doing this and whether its for reasons of cutting loose and having a laugh or something more like bathing herself in (negative) male attention. I don't think you've thought this through because you sound very straightforward and not attention seeking.

I think your dh has a point! It would never in my wildest dreams occur to me to actually go out clubbing dressed as a sexy policewoman. How disrespectful to actual policewomen!

Do you maybe think that the reason why your friends husband is not keen to "baby sit" is that he disagrees with her tarty and flirty behaviour when going out? Why would he enable that? Why on earth would he sit at home with the kids when his wife goes out behaving like she is "on the pull"?

I think you need to get your eyes open to your friend and the company you keep.

you can wear a fucking bin bag and get pervy attention from men!

I have had arseholes whistling and shouting stuff at me when im dressed in jeans and t-shirt!

You can't stop what other people do. My husband doesn't care other men look at me - he knows I'm his and his only.

He would much prefer a bit of a naughty / fun fancy dress outfit then some of the hotpants and non existent skirts and dresses some women wear on nights out!

You go for it! Have a fab time!!!

P.S - keep an eye on your handcuff, i was a police woman at a fancy dress party and they got stolen - ironically!

Do you all stay in knitting and drinking cocoa of a saturday night? I can only presume you do as if you went out once in a qhile you would see women dressed in far more revealing "normal" clothes than that ann summers outfit...

I am disgusted by the slapper comments on here-again smacks of insecurity to me....

Some people are such stuck up snobs!

Pull the sticks out of your arses and live a little.

Agree with pinkforever - do u all just sit at home & knit?

If this is her idea of fun who are you all to judge.

Is it really disrespectful to dress up as a fancy dress police woman? My friend is a police officer and she doesn't care 1 bit! She was dressed as a nun!

Does that also rule out fancy dress nurses, fire fighters, clowns, witches, comical animal costumes?

Get over yourselves.

My idea of "living a little" is not dressing up in a tarty outfit and going out on the lash... but each to their own. If that makes me a snob in your eyes bubalou, so be it :)

"tarty outfit"-you sound delightful...

If you must wear it then at least wear the hat!

Otherwise it doesn't really look like a 'SEXY POLICEWOMAN' to me.

Wear what you want. Your decision. I'd rather stick forks in my eyes but each to their own

The thing is, I don't really think this is the OPs idea of fun, I think its her friend's idea of fun. Anyway, the OP sounds pretty sensible so I'm sure she'll be alright. I just think there are nicer costumes out there. Also, I always bear in mind that if I think I'll be having a few shandies, to wear clothes I can't fall out of, be that fancy dress or otherwise.

I do knit a bit but I also love going out :)

That is not what I call living a little cringe .

Yes piedaterre it does make you sound like a condescending stuck up snob.

It might not be everyone's cup of tea - I don't do it regularly but have done for hen do's and halloween etc.

I don't wear the tiny outfits that some girls wear and do spend a while finding a fancy dress costume that's quote covered.

However it is just a laugh. I don't take myself too seriously.

There's no need to come on here just to say how you would all rather stick forks in your eyes / not do it as it's tarty.

I'd rather boil myself in acid then have the narrow minded, self indulgent, short sighted, mind numbing opinions of some of the bores that commented on here.

Just in my opinion

pmsl laughing @ stuck up snob what a strange turn of phrase! Why on earth would you want to dress as some insulting cliche of what sexy is.

I don't think many people would be overjoyed by their DPs going out clubbing dressed in an outfit from Ann Summers with a friend who was desperate for sexual attention and to escape from her disastrous relationship. glances would be entirely reasonable.

But by saying that it would be "disrespectful" to him then your DH has crossed the line all the way into "controlling arse".

*Pull the sticks out of your arses and live a little.

Agree with pinkforever - do u all just sit at home & knit?*

PMSL that there isn't any middle ground between going out dressed as a 'sexy policewoman' and sitting home knitting.

My dh likes the "cliche" of sexy ann summers outfits-simple soul that he is. I like to wear them occasionally and I feel good in them. Does not mean that when I go out I am going to turn into a "slapper"

I couldnt care less if dh went out in any kind of sexy outfit or fancy dress.Hes coming home to me and 1000s of people go out in fancy dress every weekend, especially in my town.I dont see it as disrespectful in the slightest.

I would like to say that the bitchiness and blatant jealousy on this thread is shocking but this being mn-it really isnt....

stuck up snob - must be an essex thing noddyholder

There are a lot of cliché's.

That's like saying not to bother wearing sexy underwear for your DP as it is cliché, I don't want flowers from my DP as it is cliché.

Sometimes a bit of cheesy, harmless fun in fancy dress is good.

Pinkforever - me too.

I have 4 anne summers outfits - as well as others.

The police one wasn't from anne summers. Some of the anne summers ones are more covered then what you get in a proper fancy dress shop! Trust me I've looked.

I see women in our town wearing VERY little. I wore tights with my outfit and the skirt came to just above the knee so the only skin on display was some of my arms and a little bit of neck.

I had a brilliant night out - although as I mentioned I did lose my handcuffs. Oh and I had my photo taken with 4 police officers who thought it was funny and not at all disrespectful!

So, when pinkforever and bubaloo go out, they dress in their Ann Summers outfits their dps fancy them in?

And nobody mistakes you for drag queens, wearing Ann Summers out?

But, each to their own, and if that is "living a little", then, well, again, each to their own.