to think I shouldn't be persecuted for this

[uimo]

Me and my brother went to the cinema on Wednesday night, after the showing I drove home whilst he walked home, he only lives a mile and a half away. On the way home he was attacked and mugged, he's ok but got punched in the stomach a couple of times and had his wallet and phone stolen. I didn't offer to give him a lift home and now I'm getting no end of abuse from the rest of my family, my sister in particulary who has texted me saying "couldn't even spare 5 mins to ensure your brother got home safe, some big sister you are" and she just phoned me and given me a 5 minute tirade about how I'm such a disgrace.

I admit it was 11ish and he is only 15 and I should have offered him a lift home and had I known what would have happened I would have. The thing is he didn't ask for one and although me and him go regularly it is normally during the day so he just walks back so I didn't think. I'm very sorry and annoyed with myself for not giving him one but I feel like I'm being treated like I was the one who mugged him.

They're unreasonable to be blaming you but Yabu to have not given him a lift. Hell would freeze over before I left one of my brothers or sister to walk home in the dark while I drove away. (even now their grown ) And I would be pretty annoyed if they allowed my dd(14) to either tbh. However he should have been safe so the only one responsible for that not being the case is the person who mugged him. I hope your brother is doing ok.

I wouldn't let any friend walk home at that time if I was driving let alone a young sibling (would be happy to walk it and let others)

1.5miles is 30 minutes, 20-25 mins for faster walkers.

Naturally you are upset and it was not you that mugged your DBro but I understand the families anger and frustrated directed at you.

Part of me can´t help but think that at 15 he´s not OPs responsibility.

Yes, to offer a lift would have been kind/thoughtful-but wasn´t it up to him to ask-or phone his parents?

YABVU when I've been out with my brother, I always drive him home and will watch him into my parents house before driving away. Your reasons for not giving him a lift are pitiful and frankly you deserve it from both both barrels.

I would be beyond if someone left my soon to be 15yo DD to walk home alone at 11pm. If she was then mugged as a result of being left to walk home alone at that time of night, I would be bloody FURIOUS.

So I can see where your family is coming from. In being thoughtless, you left a CHILD in a dangerous situation, which could have ended so much worse. If this was YOUR child, how would YOU feel?

If my mum did this to one of her ADULT siblings she'd get an earful! or at least a bit of a cold shoulder - it was a shitty thing to do! its really not about apron strings or victime blaming

YANBU its not your responsibility to get your brother home. Its his and your parents they are both culpable for this.

If a woman wasn't offered a ride and got raped no one would dream to say its beacause someone didn't give her a ride isn't it?why is this case different?I would have given him a ride,as a safety precaution,but as well I wouldn't be walking alone at night.

Well OMC just because you did that changes me opinion. Hang on no, no it doesn't.
:)

He's 15 not 5, he's more than capable of getting himself home via the bus or taxi and he will probably learn a valuable lesson from this on not being out alone in the dark.

chickenwingsmmmm Fri 24-Aug-12 20:36:48
Well OMC just because you did that changes me opinion. Hang on no, no it doesn't.

Well, I'll have you know my opinion is very valuable. That and a couple of quid might buy you a cup of coffee.

Different folks, I guess. Maybe I was just less protective of the kids, or they were more used to city centre living.

tuhne Fri 24-Aug-12 20:39:10
He's 15 not 5, he's more than capable of getting himself home via the bus or taxi and he will probably learn a valuable lesson from this on not being out alone in the dark.

Aaaaargh!
The dark is fine. I take teens/preteens out in dark forests to teach them the dark isn't scary.

Some people are scary but not the dark.

How far is it acceptable to walk home? If he'd got on a bus and been mugged while on the five minute walk from the bus stop would the OP still have been irresponsible not to take him all the way home?

Nice one tuhne would you say that to a women who was attacked walking home late at night ?

Did he have any money for the bus/taxi? Not that it matters the op should have dropped him off

ilovesooty- Surely he should be walking any distance at that time when his sister has a car.

shouldn't not should

Moominsarescary - The gender of the sibling is irrelevant

ryten that's not exactly what I meant. I got the impression some people thought that no one would be safe on their own after dark at all. If everyone felt like that no one would take any buses after sunset.

YABU

Mugged or not I'd still be pissed off that you left a 15 yo kid to walk home. Yes, I used to walk places late at night but if I had been with someone who had a car and the just drove off I would be annoyed. I know you don't have to offer anyone a lift but c'mon man!

I hope your brother is on.

Ok not on.

YABU for not offering him a lift. I couldn't imagine doing that to anyone tbh, regardless of age. Obviously its not your fault he got mugged, but it seems strange that you wouldn't offer to drop him off when you are the driver.

I used to walk 3 miles home from clubbing when I was 16, because my dad let me.
If I had had the offer of a life I would have taken it, given some of the hairy situations it got me into.
I can't imagine going out with anyone, whatever age, and not offering them a lift if they were going to walk home. And the onus is one the car owner to offer, not the non-car owner to ask.
YABU.

I wonder if you have a reputation as being selfish and thoughtless, hence the tirade towards you?

I don't know you but you should have given him a lift.

You left a 15 year old to walk a mile and a half at 11pm while you drove home in your car safely, I am glad you are not my sister. Disgusting