to think I shouldn't be persecuted for this

[uimo]

Me and my brother went to the cinema on Wednesday night, after the showing I drove home whilst he walked home, he only lives a mile and a half away. On the way home he was attacked and mugged, he's ok but got punched in the stomach a couple of times and had his wallet and phone stolen. I didn't offer to give him a lift home and now I'm getting no end of abuse from the rest of my family, my sister in particulary who has texted me saying "couldn't even spare 5 mins to ensure your brother got home safe, some big sister you are" and she just phoned me and given me a 5 minute tirade about how I'm such a disgrace.

I admit it was 11ish and he is only 15 and I should have offered him a lift home and had I known what would have happened I would have. The thing is he didn't ask for one and although me and him go regularly it is normally during the day so he just walks back so I didn't think. I'm very sorry and annoyed with myself for not giving him one but I feel like I'm being treated like I was the one who mugged him.

I'ld have been furious with you - whether he was mugged or not! - YWVU to not drive him the short way home

its not your fault he was mugged, but even if that hadn't happened I'ld STILL have been furious with you for not giving him a lift!

What are you doing to make it up to him?

No wonder they're pissed, you let a 15 year old walk home alone late at night when you could have easily given him a lift. They are probably very upset and worried about the long term emotional consequences on him. Not to mention frightening themselves with horrible thoughts of how much worse it could have been.

As the adult (presumably), they are angry with you for not even trying to ensure his safety.

What?

15 years old. Mile and and a half, which takes what 20 minutes?
If he didn't ask for a lift, I'd have thought he might want to walk by a mates, see if there were any guuuurls about or something.

I might have said "Need a lift?" but I certainly wouldn't have pressed it.

YANBU.

Bloody hell. Yes YABU. You let a child walk home late at night on his own and you wonder why people are upset with you for that?!

I'd be annoyed irrespective of the mugging tbh.

Agree with the others and your family. You should have been more responsible and offered him a lift home.

Oh he's just 15! Poor boy. I would expect any adult to give a known child (and that's what he is) a lift in that situation. If it was a friend of DD's for example and I saw him walking home alone at that time while I was out I would have asked if he wanted a lift. I'd hope anyone would do the same for my child.

I can't understand a situation when you would not take someone home at that time of night. Did you ask, and he said, 'no,no, it's ok, I'll just walk' or did you just say your goodbyes and drive off? It's not your fault he got mugged, and I can understand the family being upset, I would be furious. But YABU for not even 'thinking'

I hope he's ok & no the mugging wasn't your fault. However I would have driven whoever I was with home - no matter how old they are. I don't let my husband walk home from town on a night out coz there are so many dicks & violent wankers out there.

Lets get some perspective. He could have met with a friend and each walked their own separate ways home that night. He could have refused a lift.

This is nobody's fault but the muggers.

And you lot bang on about rape apologists!

Yes the OP could have offered him a lift, however would you all be saying YANBU if on any given day she started a thread to see if she was BU to not offer AND he got home safely?

I would be fuming at you.

Is this a reverse AIBU????

YANBU we all have thoughtless moments and he didn't ask for one either, I wouldn't worry it will probably be forgotten this time next week.

"I might have said "Need a lift?" but I certainly wouldn't have pressed it"

presumably had she done that and offered, and had the offer refused, that would be different?

I'm not surprised they are mad at you I'd have been furious too. How do you manage to get in a car and drive off leaving the person you have spent the evening with to walk home alone? Hopefully you will learn from your family's disapproval.

They Abu to be blaming you. You didn't mug him
However yabu not to have thought of offering him a lift. Tbh if I was your family I would have been annoyed even if he hadn't have been mugged.
One of best friends is in her 50s, when we go out we arrange how she is getting home. My dh has a restaurant in town and so i get a lift with him, we always take her. Dh would go made if he knew she was going home alone.
I am sure you already feel bad. They are angry and upset like you are and want someone to blame. At the moment the mugger isn't known so they can't be made at that person. So you are getting it.
I would speak to them all. Apologise you didn't think and you feel bad enough without them adding to it. And point out its the muggers fault.

I agree with Lacking. The mugging is irrelevant - you shouldn't have let him walk home on his own.

"however would you all be saying YANBU if on any given day she started a thread to see if she was BU to not offer AND he got home safely?"

no, as stated she would be UR to not offer IMO even if nothing had happened to him

YABU, sorry.

"would you all be saying YANBU if on any given day she started a thread to see if she was BU to not offer AND he got home safely?"

I would say getting in your car and leaving anybody to walk home without even a thought of offering them a lift is rude, selfish and thoughtless so I, for one, would not be saying YANBU to the OP in those circumstances.

HTH

OMC - she did say 'want/need a lift' that's the point.

Agree with the others who have posted, especially seen as it wasn't you're usual time and was dark
Maybe he felt uncomfortable asking because he didn't want to put you out if you had dc's to get back to

YANBU surely had he wanted a lift he would have asked for one and you would have given him one. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, and sending angry texts is very childish

Look you made an error of judgement, you'll never do the like again. Its happened - you didn't offer him a lift and he didn't ask for one. I refused lifts at that age, mainly for a sneaky smoke . You didn't beat him up. Your parents are lashing out, they're hurt and angry and feel a bit useless that one of their children was hurt and they couldn't stop it. I'd tell your sister - enough, you didn't do it on purpose and she's helping no-one.

She didn't say