to tell my fiance the truth before we book the wedding?

[DesperatelySeekingPomBears]

When DF and I first slept together I made the stupid mistake of telling him that he was my first whereas actually he was the fourth.

My ex made some rather unpleasant remarks about my sexual skills during a row after we broke up and, stupidly, I thought DF may think the same so lied so I'd have the excuse of inexperience.

However, we are now engages with a lovely 7mo DS. WIBU to never tell DF? Or if it were you would you want to know the truth?

Don't tell!

Does it matter to him that you were a virgin? I don't think there's any great need for a confession otherwise.

DONT tell him leave it... What good can come of it? The fast you lied to him for years?

How likely is it to come up in conversation? If it does do the simply I cannot remember saying that but then I can not remember sleeping with anyone before so IF I did they was not any good anyway...

no, keep it buttoned, no need to confess, no point

He thinks its special that I "chose" him and every time he makes a comment like that I cringe.

Nope keep stum. It was a white lie and unimporant.

No if you failed to tell him you are really one of spice girls thats important.

I'm sure he would understand if you explained the reason. The only thing that might make it difficult is if you were his first, then he might feel a bit uncomfortable.

I don't think that "him wanting to know the truth" is really relevant, its not something that affects your relationship with him in any way, if you get what I mean, its history and I'm sure you don't know every detail of his life before you either.

I think you should do what would make you feel comfortable - if you would be happy to not tell him don't, if it would eat away at you and make you feel bad then tell him.

I'd tell him, but then I hate secrets.
I know my dp would be pissed off at first but then I reckon he'd be ok. What do you think your DP would react like?

I guess it's not mega important that he knows, I'd just be worried in case he ever found out from someone else.

is there any chance of him discovering the truth - through big mouthed friends or an ex making contact on Facebook or something?

I'd probably tell him just because it's not very important and why risk it coming back to bite you on the arse?

I wouldn't even make a big deal of it, just treat it like a joke 'oh you didn't buy that did you? All women say that.'

Oh God I did this with my ex, I don't even know why I did it, unless it was my Spidey senses giving me an early (unheeded) warning that he was a creepy, jealous control freak... (Not saying your DH is same btw!)

Don't tell him. It was a long time ago, you were younger and stupider, you had a reason for saying what you said and it wasn't malicious. If there's no chance of him finding out it wasn't true then just leave it.

So what if you slept with 1, 4 or a thousand?

Don't tell him and just forget it. It doesn't matter.

FWIW my DH is convinced I lived a very full and adventurous sex life before him, and has asked about it a couple of times.

Ladies never tell, and I have kept very schtum thus leading him to think I was a lot wilder than I actually was

He thinks its special that I "chose" him and every time he makes a comment like that I cringe.

Tbh op that's cringey even if it were true!

If it's that important to him - and it's not going to come out from anyone else that it aint so - definitely leave it.

I'm a great believer in honesty but in this case, you can't reinvent history and I really don't think this is worth potentially jeopardising your relationship for. So I'd keep schtum.

I'd tell him.

You're not going to stop feeling guilty about it just because you are married.

Hopefully it won't come out during the wedding speeches.

Seriously provided its not 'the reason' he's marrying you then keep it zipped.

If he can find out I'd tell him. You're getting married? All your friends and family with alcohol flowing? A comment could very easily be made about your previous boyfriends.

Don't tell. No need to discuss it at all.

I had three first times

It's bound to come out at some point in your life so if you can live with it for the moment fine, keep quiet and save it shoudl you ever need to force him out the door you can always say that you don't know why you ever married him as x y and z were all far better in bed than he was.

Is it something, that if it came out later, that would actually cause a marriage to collapse?

If you go into these things telling lies, they have a habit of catching up with you.

All you need is a bit of drunken family do and your sister/brother/cousin coming out with a "do you remember when...." line and you're sunk.

She's not saying she didn't have previous boyfriends, just that she didn't shag them. I don't think such intimate details are likely to be discussed at the wedding, unless OP was known for getting it on in public?

Narked Raspberry.

LOL.

Narked, I had two - but the first one really didn't count, believe me.

I would tell him

Couldn't go into a marriage without complete honesty