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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To take my new baby out of the house

150 replies

dashoflime · 30/07/2012 21:04

Baby is very new and very little (less than 5 pounds)
We have been invited to a friends house to eat. I would like us both to go and take the baby. It is a 5 min drive away and I only want to stay a little while and then get back to ours. DH thinks it is not safe to take such a small baby out the house. MIL agrees. I think if I don't get out the house and speak to people I will start climbing the bloody walls. DH's suggested compromise: I either express breast milk or buy some formula, leave baby with him and go on my own. This sounds like a huge faff and not much fun anyway.
Who's in the right here?

OP posts:

Tee2072 · 30/07/2012 21:05

Just go. It's a baby. It's not going to break. You have to take it out sometime.

Unless it has a compromised immune system, in which case, keep the baby at home.

::sitting firmly on fence::

squeakytoy · 30/07/2012 21:07

It is a 5 minute drive, not a 5 hour plane journey!! tell him to stop being daft, and just go!

Andie20521 · 30/07/2012 21:07

Get out the house!

Seriously, if you feel up to it, why not? The little one will just want to be near mum, and wont care where they are.

What do your MIL/DH think might happen?

HillyandHally · 30/07/2012 21:07

As long as baby is well and there are no medical reasons you shouldn't go out then of course you should go!

emsyj · 30/07/2012 21:07

My mum is a bit like this - 'ooooh you don't leave the house til the baby is at least 3!!!' I went out with under 6lb DD when she was a few days old (maybe 5 days?) - to a supermarket! I was just DESPERATE to get out of the house.

Go, as long as nobody is ill and will pass anything on to baby.

Maybe find a local breastfeeding support group as you say you're bf - that was the first thing I went to, and I met some lovely lovely mums there who are friends to this day. Do you have a children's centre nearby?

FuckityFuckFuck · 30/07/2012 21:07

Assuming that your baby does not have any conditions/ongoing medical issues, just go. You can't stay cooped up indoors all the time

If it helps, DS was taken outside when he was smaller than 5lbs :)

TangoSierra · 30/07/2012 21:07

Go !!

Belmo · 30/07/2012 21:07

How new? I would go if you're sure you're feeling up to it. I took mine out on about day 3, regretted it a bit but only because I felt like shit. The baby will be fine - it needs food and cuddles which it can get wherever you are - congratulations!

PinkChampagneandStrawberries · 30/07/2012 21:08

Take him :)

glenthebattleostrich · 30/07/2012 21:08

Your DH and MIL sound barmy. Go, if DH wants to stay at home let him. You go with baby and enjoy showing your gorgeous squigy baby off :)

HorraceTheOtter · 30/07/2012 21:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HecateHarshPants · 30/07/2012 21:08

bless him, the big daft bugger. What does he think is going to happen?

Babies are very portable and no harm will come to them from going out of the house, I promise.

But he is being very reasonable in saying you go, he'll stay.

Feed the baby before you go, express a bit if you can (I found milking myself like a cow far more productive than those bloody pumps! ) and go and enjoy yourself for a bit. It'll do you good to get out for an hour or two.

thebabywife · 30/07/2012 21:10

Was baby premature, and how old is it (actual and adjusted)? If it's a wee preemie, and still under 5lbs, I'd be inclined to stay in to be honest. Can you not have people over to you?

sweetkitty · 30/07/2012 21:10

Go it will be fine. DD2 was a home birth and we had to take her to the hospital for her check the next morning. Dd3 and DS were put within days too.

HorraceTheOtter · 30/07/2012 21:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

milkysmum · 30/07/2012 21:10

Baby will be fine X

AWomanCalledHorse · 30/07/2012 21:10

Congratulations on baby!

Personally, I wasn't comfortable leaving the house with DS, alone, until he was 3/4 weeks old (just a touch of PFB-ness), I think if you've not had any time away from baby it would be nice for you to see people alone (and for DH to look after DC, I can understand your DH/MIL being worried if baby was prem or sickly).
But you'll have to start doing 'family stuff' together soon so a quick trip to comfortable surroundings (and other people cooking) is the ideal starting point.

::Joins Tee on the fence::

Lovelynewboots · 30/07/2012 21:11

This has just made me think about the first time I took my first out. Its bloody nervewracking but needs to be done. If you are breastfeeding it would be best to take baby with you. They are so portable at this age and don't mind where they are.

gloucestergirl · 30/07/2012 21:11

Has the midwife said anything about keeping the baby inside? If not then go out. Obviously your MIL and DH have the baby's health at heart, but they are not qualified to say when it will be okay for the baby go out. They are just guessing really. Of course you need to go out. I firmly believe at that a happy relaxed mother means and happy healthy child. Enjoy yourself.

PacificDogwood · 30/07/2012 21:12

How new?
How prem (if at all)?
Where you told any particular instructions by the hospital what to do and not to do??

I'd go, personally, unless specifically told by medically qualified folks that I shouldn't.
In fact, I did go with DS2 (born 31 weeks, 3lbs10oz), once he was home 5 weeks old (5 weeks before his EDD) and weighing just around 5lbs.

Pop baby in a sling, BF away to your heart's content and stop yourself losing your mind.

Your DH better man up; babies are scary little creatures, but tougher than they look!

Congratulations !

Lochtefan · 30/07/2012 21:12

How old? It sounds lovely but you make sure that you are up to it- don't want any ripped stitches!

purplesprouting · 30/07/2012 21:12

Go, of course. Even if your friend is full of cold the next day your bm will be full of antibodies to that and anything else you meet.

It wouldn't be a problem for a ff baby either but reminding dh of the above might help calm him:)

Inyourhippyhat · 30/07/2012 21:12

If you are happy to take the baby out then so be it. He/she will be absolutely fine with you and if you need to come home, it's only a 5 minute drive. Go and enjoy having your offspring admired by everyone.

nannyl · 30/07/2012 21:13

Just go

my friends baby was on the school run at less than 48 hours old

on that day she did 3 school runs (primary school and play school)

I had DD at home and we first left the house when she was about 36 hours old (and she survived)

TheQueenOfDiamonds · 30/07/2012 21:13

Awww MIL agrees? Well, then you MUST do as she says, afterall, it washer who brought the child into the world, Wasn't it? No? Tell her to mind her own fucking business then.

I can understand your husband being worried, It is scary having such a tiny baby - Both of mine were 4lb9 and 6 weeks prem. I took my eldest to her Dad's brothers the day we were let out of hospital [5 days old] literally on the way home, It was the first thing we did as they hadn't seen her yet.

We took Corey out the day after he was discharged from hospital [2 weeks old]. I'd have taken him out sooner if he'd been discharged the same as Lily was though!

There's no reason to stay home at all, Take the baby, It'll be lovely!

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