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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To take my new baby out of the house

150 replies

dashoflime · 30/07/2012 21:04

Baby is very new and very little (less than 5 pounds)
We have been invited to a friends house to eat. I would like us both to go and take the baby. It is a 5 min drive away and I only want to stay a little while and then get back to ours. DH thinks it is not safe to take such a small baby out the house. MIL agrees. I think if I don't get out the house and speak to people I will start climbing the bloody walls. DH's suggested compromise: I either express breast milk or buy some formula, leave baby with him and go on my own. This sounds like a huge faff and not much fun anyway.
Who's in the right here?

OP posts:

StewieGriffinsMom · 30/07/2012 21:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PacificDogwood · 30/07/2012 21:13

Oh, and YANBU of course.

HalleLouja · 30/07/2012 21:14

My DS was 4lb 9 and am sure we went out the house. He is fine and now a healthy 4 year old.

honeytea · 30/07/2012 21:15

You should go, tell your DP he can stay at home if he doesn't feel up to it ;)

lurcherlover · 30/07/2012 21:17

Unless you had a home birth, your baby has already been "out" on the way home from hospital. I assume he/she survived that trip just fine - why would this be any different?

(and some mils mine especially are inclined to be just a mite precious and controlling about their grand babies. Take it with a large dose of salt )

missorinoco · 30/07/2012 21:17

One of mine was 5 weeks prem, and five something when he came home from hospital. I asked my midwife about keeping him in and was told it would be fine to take him out, including to toddler groups (I have two older children).

Go for it, it sounds like a very controlled situation to have your first outing.

Congratulations too. Keep a teeny nappy, in four months you will be gawping at it compared to the size of your baby!

SparklyGothKat · 30/07/2012 21:18

I took my dd2 to have her photo done at 3 weeks old and she weighed 4lb 8 at that point.

ceegeebee · 30/07/2012 21:20

Assuming just small and not premature, and no one at your friend's house has a contagious disease, then I don't think its a problem to go out - especially in this nice weather. So you should go and take baby with you.

My DTD was 3lb13 when she was discharged from SCBU (November
last year) We went for a walk the next day and went out every day since apart from the really bad snowy weather. I remember someone coming up to me in Starbucks when she was about 3 weeks old telling me that I shouldn't have such a small baby out of the house - just what you want to hear as a new mum of twins daring to feed them in public for the first time.

LingDiLong · 30/07/2012 21:21

Like another poster, I HAD to take my DC3 out the day after giving birth at home because there were no community midwives qualified to do the paed check up they have to have within 24 hours. I gave birth at 2.30am and was asked to take her in around 9am!!! I refused and took her in the following day. We were there waiting for hours to be seen as well...she was fine but I wasn't.

LingDiLong · 30/07/2012 21:22

Sorry meant to finish with, if a midwife is happy for a mum to traipse off to hospital a few hours after giving birth then I'm sure a 5 minute journey is fine.

McPie · 30/07/2012 21:22

My twins were born at 33 weeks and were 4lb and 4lb6, we took them into the place my mum worked on the way home when they were less than 4 weeks old. We had them round at the school with their big brother the next day and this was at the start of december, neither of them are prone to illness and they are 5 now.
I would go as you cant wrap them in cotton wool forever and the wall climbing stage is just horrible, the fresh air and change of scenery will do you both good.

topknob · 30/07/2012 21:23

My ds3 was 4lb 12 when we finally got to take him home..I took him out, just made sure he was super wrapped up and warm :) baby will be fine, probably won't even wake knowing what ds was like for waking up.

IceCubes · 30/07/2012 21:23

My 4lb twins went to Nandos before they'd even been home! (Class!)

Go, be human!

Original poster

dashoflime · 30/07/2012 21:24

Thanks for all the replies :) Baby is 10 days. Born at term but by emergency cesarian as not getting enough food from the placenta: hence very small. He had a few days in the SCBU followed by a few days with me in transitional care which I suspect is why they are both so nervy. No real medical issues though: just low birth weight and trouble with blood sugar levels.

OP posts:

FlamingoBingo · 30/07/2012 21:24

Far safer for you and baby to go together than for you to go alone and leave baby without his/her mum. Young babies should be kept close to their mum as much as feasibly possible in the early months, and that is far likely to keep her calm and thriving and growing than separating you will...and as long as you keep her close to you while you're out, she'll be fine. Young babies are very portable

ClaireRacing · 30/07/2012 21:25

Have you asked the midwife for her opinion? IME midwives are very good at persuading and reassuring husbands.

I would suggest committing to 30 minutes at your friend's house, and then reassess at the time. You do need to get out.

It is too early to start messing about with milk.

Moominsarescary · 30/07/2012 21:27

Mine was 4lb when we took him home from hospital at 10 days old, I has to take ds2 to school, go shopping etc. He was fine.

It's only a 5 min drive away

DontmindifIdo · 30/07/2012 21:28

Keep baby with you, not at home - if he needs feeds then it's best boobs are close by.

Armi · 30/07/2012 21:28

Go, with baby, even if it's only for a few minutes. It sounds like a good first outing - close to home and somewhere 'safe'. Have a good time.

Moominsarescary · 30/07/2012 21:29

Mine was 8 weeks early

NellyBluth · 30/07/2012 21:29

Dash, my DD was also full term but discovered to be v poorly, so 5 days in SCBU with similar blood sugar, potassium, sodium issues etc so feeding when we left was an issue. I didn't get her out of the house properly for a week or so - but only because it was in the middle of that snow earlier this year! By the time she was 3 weeks old we were at baby groups (I hated being the house all day)! I would definitely go if I were you, especially as its such an easy drive home if he gets unsettled.

IsLovingAndGiving · 30/07/2012 21:30

So long as you're feeling up to it, you should definitely go! I would definitely take baby & show him off to everyone!

Dc3 was at her big brother's birthday party the day after she was born (at home). Then out to toddler group the next day & school run the day after that - absolutely fine of course.

missorinoco · 30/07/2012 21:31

Dash - mine spent time in TC with low sugars and an NG tube. Keep him with you, he can latch on to his little heart's content.

PacificDogwood · 30/07/2012 21:32

Right, so he is mature, just small.

No need to treat him any different than any other 10 day old baby.
Get thee out of the house and have fun.

eurochick · 30/07/2012 21:33

With such a young baby isn't nipple confusion from expressed or formula milk a concern?

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