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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Didn't come home

396 replies

CinnamonSal · 22/07/2012 09:38

My partner went to the pub yesterday afternoon and as yet is still not home. His phone has been off since around 11pm. Am I being unreasonable to think this is a complete disregard for me and be absolutely livid?

OP posts:
WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 22/07/2012 09:39

Fucking hell that's bad. If it was my dh I would be more worried than livid. Has he done this before?

LindyHemming · 22/07/2012 09:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

savoycabbage · 22/07/2012 09:41

No YANBU. Have you phoned the hospitals?

OHforDUCKScake · 22/07/2012 09:43

I wouldnt be pissed off at this point Id be sick with worry because it'd be so out of character. Has he done this before?

susiegrapevine · 22/07/2012 09:43

Omg I would be worried too. Would not mind dh staying out all night as long as he let me know. I would defo be phoning the hospitals and police stations!

lauraandeve · 22/07/2012 09:43

oh no that is not good! is there anyway you could ring the people he may be with? I know a few men who do this on a regular basis and think nothing of it but to be honest I think its a selfish thing to do and I am not in the slightest bit surprised you are livid! Hope he turns up soon with a decent excuse Hmm

WorraLiberty · 22/07/2012 09:44

Yes does he have a history of this?

Did you argue before he went out?

Pancakeflipper · 22/07/2012 09:44

Has he got form for this?

After checking with friends and A&E, I would then make sure he couldn't get back in the house without having to knock at the door. Just so I could stand on the doorstep with cats bum mouth.

I would be very cross indeed. It's disrespectful to not let you know and cause you lots of worry.

Hope they are safe but a bollocking is in order.

Chubfuddler · 22/07/2012 09:44

The fact you're livid rather than worried suggests this is not out of character. Is that true?

Original poster
CinnamonSal · 22/07/2012 09:46

I am starting to worry. He has done it once early on but never to this time. The phone keeps going on to answer machine so it's either off or on divert. I don't even know who he was out with.

OP posts:
gymboywalton · 22/07/2012 09:47

if it was me-i would have phoned the police and all the hospitals and would have a friend or a family member with me while i waited for the police to find his body.

but my dh isn't an inconsiderate nobber and i suspect, by your anger, that yours ma be.

pumpkinsweetie · 22/07/2012 09:47

I would be more worried if this behaviour is out of character, he could be hurt for example?
If he has done this before i can see why you are livid, has he done this before?

KissMyEmbroideryHoop · 22/07/2012 09:48

Call his friends?

Original poster
CinnamonSal · 22/07/2012 09:48

I am erring on the realistic side and assuming he is drunk and at a party or something. We didn't argue it was our second night in new home so I thought he might have liked to stay in with me or at least come home at a reasonable time.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 22/07/2012 09:49

When you say he did it once early on, how long ago was that?

OHforDUCKScake · 22/07/2012 09:49

'does he have form'
'does he have form for this'

Ive never heard the above before. Ever. Form? What?

Original poster
CinnamonSal · 22/07/2012 09:50

I don't have any of his friends numbers.

OP posts:
Dprince · 22/07/2012 09:50

I would be worried not pissed off. If its not a regular occurrence why would you assume he is just pissed somewhere?

Original poster
CinnamonSal · 22/07/2012 09:50

worra about 1.5 yr ago

OP posts:
BigHairyFlowers · 22/07/2012 09:51

I agree with maybe phone his friends

Would he get so drunk that he is curled up asleep on the doorstep of your old house wondering why no one will let him in?

BigHairyFlowers · 22/07/2012 09:52

Oops phone friends x post there, sorry!

Original poster
CinnamonSal · 22/07/2012 09:53

That was staying out til next morning - he has on a number of occasions stayed out to 3,4,5am putting phone off and that's when he had said he'd be home in 20 mins around 11pm.

OP posts:
SoozyWoozy · 22/07/2012 09:53

I would be worried rather than angry... especially if this isn't something he would do.

Dprince · 22/07/2012 09:54

Bighairy could be right. When me and dh first moved in, he finished work at about 2 am. He went to his parents, let himself in and didn't realise he didn't live there until his dad went to see what was going on.
He wasn't drunk just knackered and not thinking.

Sighingagain · 22/07/2012 09:55

I remember him, was this a few weeks ago, isnt he the one with alcohol issues, this isnt really out of character if I have right thread and I am sure you were advised to walk away on the last thread.

Apologies if I have confused you with another poster.