Didn't come home

[CinnamonSal]

My partner went to the pub yesterday afternoon and as yet is still not home. His phone has been off since around 11pm. Am I being unreasonable to think this is a complete disregard for me and be absolutely livid?

We can't be 100 percent sure police time is being wasted when no one knows where he is though.

It does sound a bit like this is a selfish man who is demonstrating to his partner that he is going to continue doing whatever he likes, when he likes and she will just have to suck it up - that the OP is angry rather than frightened makes it obvious that it; not particularly out of character for him to please himself without thinking about her.
Either that or he really doesn't want to be a father and is behaving badly in order to provoke the OP into dumping him, so he can then wander round looking tragic at new women and pull the old 'Bitch won't let me see my kid, boohoo' story for sympathy shags.

My ex used to do this. He started when I was pregnant too. The worst thing he ever did was leave me alone with a 3 year old ds and new born dd, a week post section, while he went on a three day bender. My family were miles away and I was too embarrassed to tell anyone anyway.

My advice would be get rid now. This kind of behaviour tends to worsen and who needs the stress?

SGB

OP how did he get to the pub? Did he drive, walk, taxi, get a life, cycle?

Sorry, that should read get a lift, not life

Sorry you are in this situation CinnamonSal.
Has he come home yet?

He should get a life haha. My brother dropped him off at pub.

Did your brother stay for a drink with him, or see who he met there?

like that SGB

Keep yourself occupied Cinnamon, or the rage will just keep building. I hope he gets in contact soon because this sort of thing is so infuriating.

My SIL's ex-husband used to do this sort of thing all the time. It got to the point where she was so frustrated by it that whenever it happened (phone turned off, gone all night, no word until the afternoon) she just instantly when from 0 to 100 on the rage scale. One time he did on a friday night and she called someone to change the locks on their flat on Sat and went to her mum's for the rest of the weekend. They split soon after.

went out got drunk, fell asleep somewhere.
went out got drunk, pulled, now guilty.
went out got drunk, slept on his mate's sofa, now drinking again..

went out got drunk, met with an accident.
didn't know how to say he was leaving so said he was going to the pub.

while he's out, pack his stuff. unless he's had a genuine accident and can't contact you, his behaviour is unacceptable.

My ex used to do this stupid bastard said he believed in serendipity ffs

I agree with those who said go out or stay at friends with no note. Go shopping for your baby just don't sit dwelling on him. I would be so angry!!

My brother didn't stay for a drink. He doesn't have a facebook either. I feel physically sick.

d I used to do this all the time. Go out for a few drinks, end up sleeping on someones floor. I was single. I've gone for one or two extended drinking sessions since getting married, but with agreement. I'd never turn my phone off, thats rude and incredibly inconsiderate. Even if i was running low on battery I'd check in. As a family you have a tacit agreement of responsible behaviour. That doesn't mean sponteneity goes out of the window but you have to be fair.

He needs to be aware that his behaviour isn't particularly compatible with family life. Ask him straight if thats what he wants. As others have said, having a child places a lot of stress on both parents whilst the responsibility levels go through the roof. If he can't be responsible then you will find it hard. You need to talk, I hope for your sake that he can change.

It's disgraceful that he's stayed out this late without letting you know.

If you do sleep at someone's house due to drinking you usually wake earlier, don't you, because it's not as comfortable crashing out on a sofa.

I would be very reluctant to believe what he says when he does come home.

Completely unacceptable unless he has had an accident. He should have been able to get to a phone by now. It doesn't look good TBH and doesn't bode well that he will be a sensible reliable father. I would be extremely disappointed.

And yes, don't sit in stewing. It's lovely outside! Go for a nice walk, meet up with a friend and enjoy yourself. I don't think that building up into a furious rage will help. If you go off on one he'll just get defensive and you've no chance of making him admit his selfishness. Go out, have a nice time. Then be firm that you will discuss the issue later but in a constructive manner.

OP, I know you are pregnant now. Do you have any other children?

He's still not home? Bloody hell. If he's not ill/injured then his behaviour is shocking :(

My advice would be to take yourself out for lunch and then have some fun time baby shopping. You need to keep busy and not wait around for him to roll up. He isn't in hospital so the chances are he is safe and well somewhere.

In terms of your new house, have you rented/bought together?

What a prick.

Is your gut saying he's hurt or a twat?

I would call his Mum and Dad and tell them he is missig. Let them find him. How old is he?