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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Didn't come home

396 replies

CinnamonSal · 22/07/2012 09:38

My partner went to the pub yesterday afternoon and as yet is still not home. His phone has been off since around 11pm. Am I being unreasonable to think this is a complete disregard for me and be absolutely livid?

OP posts:
WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 22/07/2012 09:55

I would call up a&e and the police. That way when he crawls in you can guilt trip him with how worried you've been (hope he has just fallen asleep / past out at a friends house).

Showmethemhappyfeet · 22/07/2012 09:56

I would be getting a bit worried if he's still not home. Have you checked your old house?

OHforDUCKScake · 22/07/2012 09:57

Why would you go out at 11pm, say you'll be 20 mins then not come up until sparrows fart?

For years my DP would tell me what he wanted to hear then do something different. Not in the form of going out, but in other ways. It took years of me saying 'Just be honest in the first place, Id never have minded. But you lied so Im livid!' before he finally listened and now hes not done it in a long long time.

Anyway, going by what you just said, Id be pissed off because by his track record he went out on the piss, he just had no intention of telling you.

Sighingagain · 22/07/2012 10:00

why would you waste police and ane time like that just to make a point, dont you think they have better things to do?

JugglingWithTangentialOranges · 22/07/2012 10:00

I hope he's OK
Can you get some support while you work out where he's got to ?

KissMyEmbroideryHoop · 22/07/2012 10:00

Ducks it's slang...usually related to prison or criminals...form means past offences.

So a man or woman might have "previous form"....that means they have offended before.

Chubfuddler · 22/07/2012 10:00

If you've never heard of "form" in this context you've obviously never seen any 1970s cop shows ie the sweeney, or watched horse racing.

Chubfuddler · 22/07/2012 10:02

If he's done this lots of times before then he doesn't give a toss how worried the op might be, so ringing A&E for that purpose would be pointless.

PerryCombover · 22/07/2012 10:03

You know what this is

Confront it and accept it

Or move on

There is no halfway house

JugglingWithTangentialOranges · 22/07/2012 10:04

I don't think it's wasting police or hospital time to contact them Sighing - let's just say it has multiple uses ? It's sensible to check up like that as OP is worried.
Her call anyway.

PerryCombover · 22/07/2012 10:06

Also do not call his friends family etc
It's embarrassing to act like a lover's mother

Do not waste police or hospital time either

tabulahrasa · 22/07/2012 10:06

Is it not from horse racing? A horses form is how it's performed previously...

Not that that helps the OP any, lol

TBH if it's not like him, I'd be worried rather than angry as well.

Sighingagain · 22/07/2012 10:09

Its a complete waste of their time and resources when you do it to make a point because someone is on the piss.

I would call them if Dh didn't come home - because it's unheard of and I'd be frantic, I wouldn't have called them for exh - because if he was in a gutter somewhere it would have been from drinking himself senseless.

PerryCombover · 22/07/2012 10:10

The OP has said it is like him. It's exactly like him.
Not returning when he says he will and switching off his phone as though he's a nobbish teenager

ImperialBlether · 22/07/2012 10:14

I'd be looking at whether I could afford that rent/mortgage on my own.

RaisinDEtre · 22/07/2012 10:18

Oh dear

The staying out all night is fairly new, then but the staying out all hours til as-good-as-morning isn't

he's just pushing on another notch, to see if you'll roll over and accept it, then he'll have carte blanche to carry on

You'll be maid, cook, skivvy before you know it. In fact, tell us about your relationship - do you have children, how long have you been together?

Original poster
CinnamonSal · 22/07/2012 10:18

I have phoned hospitals locally he is not there and no unknown people admitted.
I am also pregnant and don't need this shit.

OP posts:
FormerlyTitledUntidy · 22/07/2012 10:19

Don't call the police.
I'm afraid you have to wait it out, but I would be worried until he comes home, then livid if all was ok and he was just being a prick
Does he have an alcohol problem?

GemmaPomPom · 22/07/2012 10:20

I am also pregnant and don't need this shit.

You most certainly don't. Do you have any idea where he was going? Or who with?

lauraandeve · 22/07/2012 10:22

Is there somewhere you can go to? I would be tempted to go out for some lunch with family or friends or just go and sit on someone elses sofa either way just don't sit and wait for him! Angry

ImperialBlether · 22/07/2012 10:24

Yes, good idea. Don't be there when he gets home.

In fact I'd be tempted to go away for a few days without a note and with my phone turned off.

rhondajean · 22/07/2012 10:24

Oh sal.

You really don't need this.

I don't know what to say, but if you feel you do need to phone the police, then do it. If he has got himself into a state, he could have been picked up by them. But please, try not to worry or work yourself up, easier said than done I know.

RaisinDEtre · 22/07/2012 10:25

ah, you're pregnant

ok so let's do a quick recap:

you've just moved house
you are pg
your partner went out yesterday afternoon, to the pub with his mates
you don't know his mates; your partner told you at 11 pm that he was on his way home
he's still not arrived
not at hospitals

Is there any where you can go for the day - parents/friends/family? no need for you to waste this glorious day waiting to him to roll home

RaisinDEtre · 22/07/2012 10:25

massive x posts

Original poster
CinnamonSal · 22/07/2012 10:26

He doesn't have an alcohol problem just a selfish bastard problem. I know what pub he was at don't know who with.

OP posts: