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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Didn't come home

396 replies

CinnamonSal · 22/07/2012 09:38

My partner went to the pub yesterday afternoon and as yet is still not home. His phone has been off since around 11pm. Am I being unreasonable to think this is a complete disregard for me and be absolutely livid?

OP posts:
grobagsforever · 22/07/2012 12:16

Wow. Change the locks. What a git. Hope you're ok OP.

GemmaPomPom · 22/07/2012 12:16

Actually, I'd be getting a bit worried by now.

rhondajean · 22/07/2012 12:19

Sal, phone the police, then phone someone to come keep you company. I can't imagine how stressed you are by now.

AnAirOfHope · 22/07/2012 12:19

My sisters ex did the same but it turned out he give a bag of clothes to a friend and picked it up at pub and got on train back to France and left her without letting her know. She got a txt off a friend who had talked to him.

Tee2072 · 22/07/2012 12:22

Wherever he is, whatever happened, unless he's unconscious in a hospital somewhere, he's a prick.

I hope he comes home soon so you can kick him out for good.

Original poster
CinnamonSal · 22/07/2012 12:23

I am starting to worry now. We don't have any kids he is thrilled about pregnancy and I think that's genuine. The house is in my name. Thank god. We have been together 2 years. He has never stayed out like this before. I agree with poster who would have expected him to have woken up early if crashing on couch

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 22/07/2012 12:24

Blimey, AnAirOfHope, that's not much comfort for the OP!

Original poster
CinnamonSal · 22/07/2012 12:26

I agree with all that's said he is a twat etc but right now I don't need to be told he is with another woman or fucked off to France. I have an active enough imagination as it is thanks.

OP posts:
Puremince · 22/07/2012 12:30

How was he getting home from the pub? Walking? Taxi? Train? He couldn't have accidentally got on the wrong train and ended up miles away, could he?

akaemmafrost · 22/07/2012 12:31

He will be back. Honestly he will. I totally agree with SGB's assessment of the situation. He is stepping things up to let you know he is going to carry in doing whatever he wants. Stamp on it now or look forward to a lifetime of this Sad.

Sorry you are going through it. I used to feel ill with dread and fear and then when it became apparent he was safe but just didn't want to come home would be in so much pain from the rejection. It's an awful awful way to treat someone. He has a responsibility to you and your unborn child and he is not respecting that. He's an arsehole Angry.

Tee2072 · 22/07/2012 12:33

I think it's time to call the police.

squeakytoy · 22/07/2012 12:34

Do you not have the numbers for any of his friends, or their girlfriends? Or know where they live?

StuntGirl · 22/07/2012 12:35

Try not to worry cinnamon. The berk is probably safe and sound somewhere, oblivious he's worrying you so much.

Could you contact his parents? Any of his friends (whether they were out last night or not - they might know something/contact details of who was out)? Facebook? If only to put your mind at rest. xx

creamteas · 22/07/2012 12:36

I had a DP like this, life was much better when he became an ex!

The stress of being a single-parent was a lot less that the stress of living with a b

Pickles77 · 22/07/2012 12:36

I think he needs to be reported now op. I think the negative posters are the ones who think you've posted before. If it gives you comfort reprt him missing

Sastra · 22/07/2012 12:37

Does he ever partake in drugs? By that I mean could he still be out partying?

AnAirOfHope · 22/07/2012 12:37

I didnt know your partner know anyone from France!

Have you bothered to call his mum or dad brothers sisters the police the pub he was at taxi companies?

ToothbrushThief · 22/07/2012 12:38

Cinnamon - report him missing. Last thread like this (that I was on) the man was found in a hospital some distance away

grobagsforever · 22/07/2012 12:39

I would call the police now.

squeakytoy · 22/07/2012 12:40

If I were the OP, I would be out knocking on the door of his parents house, finding out where his mates lived, and going looking for him by now.

If it isnt normal behaviour then it must be worrying, but going doing something about it is better than sitting at home posting on here.

ScrambledSmegs · 22/07/2012 12:41

Someone else who thinks you should call the police here.

Sorry you're going through this. I'm sure he's fine and just continued drinking/partying till silly o'clock, and now he's too ashamed to come home still drunk and looking like this --->Envy. Doesn't make it any better though. Twat.

AnAirOfHope · 22/07/2012 12:41

Have you phoned the local radio station and ask them to make an annousment like "would (partners name) call home or anyone who knows his whereabouts"?

NotGeoffVader · 22/07/2012 12:41

Good point, Toothbrush, I remember reading that thread too - at the time, I think the OP's DP was being assessed and so somehow slipped through the radar when she originally rang the hospital. It took a while for them to find his ID etc.

Cinnamon, I think you do need to report him missing/phone the police to check if he's their guest and possibly phone most local hospital. At least that way you know you have done all that you can, and it may stop you worrying so much. Other than that, can you get anyone to keep you company? It would be better for you to be occupied than to sit around waiting for news, I think.

FormerlyTitledUntidy · 22/07/2012 12:42

I think you should leave it until closer to 4 or 5 to report him missing. Dp is in the police and he said it happens all the time, and it's usually just that he is sleeping it off somewhere.

Olympia2012 · 22/07/2012 12:43

Call his parents....,they can call others

Time to start making a bit of a fuss I think