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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband problem-Wedding photography

209 replies

Moony33 · 19/07/2012 15:54

We've just got married and the whole thing had been a total nightmare. I've done virtually all the planning(though 90% of the cost was paid for by hubby) My husband has a brother who's a very experienced wedding photographer, but whom hubby also wanted as best man. My husbands brother has had a bad time of it lately so he thought it a good idea for him to do both roles and was told by a close family member that it "would break his heart" if he couldn't do both. I thought this was a terrible idea. When the photos arrived, despite a few good images, the quality was nowhere as near as good as I expected with a lot of the classic images missing and some bad quality shots I've now gone absolutly ape for days at my husband blaming him completly and have said the "marriage is deteriorating before our eyes". I've more or less demanded that he pay to get additional photos done and how he should have hired an external photographer but what makes me the most upset is that he took his brothers feelings over mine. I'm not sure I can forgive and forget until he pays for another photoshot. The photography was a wedding present but i'm so very upset.

OP posts:
DreamingofSummer · 19/07/2012 15:56
cocolepew · 19/07/2012 15:56

Its only photos, my wedding album has been in the loft since we got married. I think a grip is needed tbh.

Alurkatsoftplay · 19/07/2012 15:57

Umm, which was more important the wedding or the wedding photos?

Dprince · 19/07/2012 15:57

Is this a reverse thread?.
I get the photos are not great, but yabu. That's if its not a reverse thread.

cocolepew · 19/07/2012 15:58

His brother had had a hard time, it was nice of your DH to take his feelings into consideration. You, on the other hand, sound a bit of a nightmare.

littlebluechair · 19/07/2012 15:58

I think this is about much more than the photos. My photos are utterly shit, a friend let me down badly, but I don't care much.

Is this the photos or the fact your BIL dictated having two roles or the fact your husband left you to organise the whole wedding?

Alurkatsoftplay · 19/07/2012 15:58

Im struggling to be sympathetic, but how about asking your brother in law to take some nice shots of you both at home. Would that cheer you up?

mamalovebird · 19/07/2012 15:58

You'll laugh about this in time. Aside from one or two you may get blown up and framed how often will you look at them?

We had a friend do ours and whilst it sounds like we got a few more decent shots than you may have done, I didn't get the more traditional shots that I imagine I'd get. But we're still married and still haven't got round to putting together an album. It seems massive now but once it settles, you'll calm down. Not everything goes 100% perfect to plan. Doesn't mean you can't salvage the shots you've got and do something nice with them :)

sugarice · 19/07/2012 15:58

It seems a bit harsh to say the marriage is deteriorating over photographs, wouldn't you say.

MrsCarriePooter · 19/07/2012 15:59

I'm sorry you're upset but I don't get the point of additional photoshoots - surely the point is capturing the day itself not dressing up afterwards?

"Absolutely ape for days" = YABU I'm afraid.

paradisechick · 19/07/2012 16:00

It's done and over with. You can't recreate your day. In the real world, once you come down of your wedding high, people don't look at their wedding pictures that often. Pick the best for an album, ask guests to pass on any they took, pick one for a frame and move on.

TrudiRed · 19/07/2012 16:00

I have to agree with the others - photos are a lovely thing to have to look back on (very occasionally!) but they shouldn't be a make or break thing. Be disappointed if you have to but don't make it the be all and end all. If you do another shoot they won't be photos of your wedding so bear in mind that they may not make you feel any better. The photos should create memories of the first day of your marriage - and its the marriage that counts, not the wedding.

LentillyFart · 19/07/2012 16:00

Perhaps the brother could do the divorce photos? Grin

DuelingFanjo · 19/07/2012 16:01

Sounds like a reverse thread to me.

sugarice · 19/07/2012 16:02

Is there more to it than just the photo's OP? You've mentioned it being a total nightmare which implies other issues.

WorraLiberty · 19/07/2012 16:02

Ahh a 'Post Bridezilla'. I've never seen one of these before.

susiedaisy · 19/07/2012 16:02

I can understand your disappointment but I do think Yabu to go ape at your husband for days!

Ephiny · 19/07/2012 16:03

I can understand you being disappointed about the photos, but surely you are over-reacting a bit. It's really not worth getting so upset over, and falling out with your new husband!

Ephiny · 19/07/2012 16:04

(I don't see the problem with getting dressed up and having a photo-shoot later if you want to - not something I can imagine I'd bother doing, but for some people that kind of thing is fun!)

OneHandFlapping · 19/07/2012 16:04

Ask all your guests to send you copies of their photos. Overall you will probably get some good ones. Don't make a massive row with your DH over nothing. It sounds like your DH felt obliged to have his brother as the photographer, and it would have caused a family rift if he'd gone to a professional.

(another one whose wedding album hasn't been opened since we got it)

Maryz · 19/07/2012 16:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thixotropic · 19/07/2012 16:04

Email all your guests asking for some pics. We did this instead of hiring a photographer, because I have always hated the way photishoots dominate the wedding at the expense of having a nice day.

I think a good sort through of other people's pics should give you enough
nice photos and a few quirky ones.

susiedaisy · 19/07/2012 16:04

Sugar is right, you mentioned other issues op maybe the photos were the last straw as it were? if you have kids in the future the wedding photos will get shoved to one side pretty quickly and new babe ones will take pride of place Smile

fanoftheinvisibleman · 19/07/2012 16:06

And I really thought 'Bridezillas' got over it once they'd walked up the aisle.

fanoftheinvisibleman · 19/07/2012 16:06

And I really thought 'Bridezillas' got over it once they'd walked up the aisle.

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