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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband problem-Wedding photography

209 replies

Moony33 · 19/07/2012 15:54

We've just got married and the whole thing had been a total nightmare. I've done virtually all the planning(though 90% of the cost was paid for by hubby) My husband has a brother who's a very experienced wedding photographer, but whom hubby also wanted as best man. My husbands brother has had a bad time of it lately so he thought it a good idea for him to do both roles and was told by a close family member that it "would break his heart" if he couldn't do both. I thought this was a terrible idea. When the photos arrived, despite a few good images, the quality was nowhere as near as good as I expected with a lot of the classic images missing and some bad quality shots I've now gone absolutly ape for days at my husband blaming him completly and have said the "marriage is deteriorating before our eyes". I've more or less demanded that he pay to get additional photos done and how he should have hired an external photographer but what makes me the most upset is that he took his brothers feelings over mine. I'm not sure I can forgive and forget until he pays for another photoshot. The photography was a wedding present but i'm so very upset.

OP posts:
TheBigJessie · 19/07/2012 21:29

What about something about seeing a red flag, i.e. that new husband can't do one simple job without messing it up, and she's suddenly realised that there's been a pattern of this long before they got married? I'm sure someone can do something with that angle.

Maryz · 19/07/2012 21:37

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheBigJessie · 19/07/2012 21:39

Red Dwarf character.

tinkertitonk · 19/07/2012 21:46

Jessie, not as good as the one about whether it was OK to give Earl Grey to the builders. The great thing about that was that the OP had the balls to stick around. Not sure I would have done, hats off to her.

TheBigJessie · 19/07/2012 21:46

"I feel totally let down. This has suddenly shone a harsh light on our relationship, and I've come to realise he never puts the effort in to get something done, unless he's at work. I'm don't think our marriage can last, if he isn't willing to make a show of making an effort now, by organising a reprise. I think that if I let him get away without making it up to me, he'll carry on with it for the rest of our lives. If he organises a reprise, perhaps he'll learn not to be careless the first time. AIBU?"

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 19/07/2012 21:47

Love this thread but I miss the OP - Come back Moony33 please!

I am torn between writing my job application or writing another pastiche.

SlightlyJaded · 19/07/2012 21:49

I honestly honestly thought that the OP was going to tell us that there was a damning picture of her groom (slightly out of focus perhaps) in amongst the wedding photos.

This has actually surpassed all my expectations

My very first Biscuit

Maryz · 19/07/2012 21:49

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tinkertitonk · 19/07/2012 21:52

Maryz, can't remember, sorry. But I have just remembered that it wasn't builders (banal), it was tree surgeons.

Priceless.

TheBigJessie · 19/07/2012 21:55

There was a thread about tea? How? I can't quite work that one out.

BoulevardOfBrokenSleep · 19/07/2012 21:57

Not a bad rephrasing, BigJessie, but I bet you can't incorporate "the marriage is deteriorating before our eyes" and "ape for days" and keep it reasonable...?

tallslutnopanties · 19/07/2012 22:00

How about asking family and friends for there photos and making an album out if those? We got everyone to upload to snapfish and chose from there. Better than the professional photos IMO. I hate the staged look.

Sorry if someone has already suggested this but I couldn't be bothered to read the whole thread. Wedding worries bore me to tears.

YvonneMcGruder · 19/07/2012 22:04

BoulevardOfBrokenSleep and a full Rimmer salute back to you too! Grin
Wanted to be Kristine Kochanski, but apparently that's already taken as a nickname on here! So I'm Yvonne Mcgruder.
To those asking, she's Rimmer's one and only time. Smile

TheBigJessie · 19/07/2012 22:05

I could get a reference to deterioration in, I think. The bit about going ape is practically impossible, so far.

Maryz · 19/07/2012 22:09

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ifeelloved · 19/07/2012 22:10

Wow. Can't wait I hear your pub antics if you decide to get over he photos!

YvonneMcGruder · 19/07/2012 22:10

Maryz Shock Rimmer from Red Dwarf, of course! yes I'm a nerd

TheBigJessie · 19/07/2012 22:14

"My husband's unwillingness to even admit he made a mistake has really hurt me. I think I'm justified, but he said I'd gone ape when I thought I was just trying to explain how I felt.

We're at an impasse, and I can see our marriage deterioring before my eyes"

Olympicnmix · 19/07/2012 22:15

You meanies, she has a point about the <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=terrible+wedding+photos&hl=en&sa=X&rlz=1T4GGHP_en-GBGB466GB466&biw=1366&bih=589&tbm=isch&prmd=imvns&tbnid=xodl8M6E15y7bM:&imgrefurl=www.warriorforum.com/copywriting-forum/527267-critique-advice-please-sales-letter.html&docid=KtUQkehZmDBLLM&imgurl=1.bp.blogspot.com/--udu1mKgFoQ/TbolIKOEqmI/AAAAAAAAA6g/8tsx8cYVqAs/s1600/Royal%252BWedding%252BPicture.jpg&w=700&h=466&ei=RXgIUMC5O4fX0QWVxK3GBA&zoom=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">photos

Maryz · 19/07/2012 22:16

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Olympicnmix · 19/07/2012 22:17

Got the angle all wrong in <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=terrible+wedding+photos&hl=en&sa=X&rlz=1T4GGHP_en-GBGB466GB466&biw=1366&bih=589&tbm=isch&prmd=imvns&tbnid=-eB1xi4c999U5M:&imgrefurl=1000terriblethings.com/%3Fp%3D85&docid=ckN3_K5GKJOCaM&imgurl=1000terriblethings.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/bad-wedding-dress.jpg&w=450&h=344&ei=RXgIUMC5O4fX0QWVxK3GBA&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=615&vpy=244&dur=38&hovh=196&hovw=257&tx=152&ty=112&sig=103644459512886654747&page=1&tbnh=123&tbnw=144&start=0&ndsp=23&ved=1t:429,r:19,s:0,i:132" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this one

Maryz · 19/07/2012 22:17

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TheBigJessie · 19/07/2012 22:17

*deteriorating.

TheBigJessie · 19/07/2012 22:23

What about: "to be fair to my husband, I did go ape when I first saw the photos. I could have reacted better, but it was so much worse than I ever feared beforehand. Since then, he just treats me like I'm being hysterical"

BoulevardOfBrokenSleep · 19/07/2012 22:23

Blimey, I've seen a photo of that dress with the free-range boobs before, but on a blonde lady. Perhaps it's a popular style?