To think my brother and sister in law are bad parents?

[Oxygene]

Please tell me if i'm over reacting.
My BIL has two lads (13 & 14)and when we go to our MILs for Christmas, they do nothing from the minute they get up to the time they go to bed but play violent war games on the xbox. Not only is it totally anti social when your supposed to be visiting family but I don't agree that a 13 year old should be allowed to play violent and aggressive 18+ restricted games. You wouldn't allow your kids to watch porn would you?

They can't see any wrong in this. The only time they stop is to go the loo and have tea and even then they're texting while at the dinner table. The kids are rude and anti social. We went camping with them last year and I was shocked to see the eldest lad knocking back bottles of blue WKDs. The mum said it was ok so long as they drank with the family so it could be monitored and they could do it responsibly. So it's ok to break the law so long as it's done behind closed doors?

Their dad is now pushing the youngest boy into the caddets where he's allowed to vent off aggression and play with rifles. Fine, if you want to join the army when you're older but glamourising war and allowing kids to play with guns is something I can't agree with.

On one hand they are over strict with them but not where it matters. They've sent them to private school so they can get a strict education but they seem to be going off the rails and the parents just can't see where they're going wrong.

Cadets won't make them aggressive.
It will channel their aggression into a more positive way.
My nephew was a very aggressive angry kid (for many reasons), he got expelled from school for fighting so his Dad signed him up to a boxing club. It was a way of channelling and controlling his aggression.

In 6 months he was a different boy - he still had his issues but he also had an outlet and he absolutely loved it.

You sound like you have an axe to grind OP. I really do think you are overreacting even if their upbringing is how you portray it.

YABU

ThePigOn...what makes you think or say i've got a 2 year old? What is it that makes you think that?

Is it just me that feels a 13-year-old playing an 18-rated game is inappropriate then?

Or that it's ok for a 14-year-old to drink an entire box of WKD blue and be staggering around drunk?

Maybe the Xbox games aren't ideal but I can remember Christmas family gatherings and they were pretty dull, I'd have been glad to have had an Xbox or something to escape to, beats 007 films.
I don't see a problem with the alcopops either if the parents are watching properly, least they're in a safe environment and not drinking on street corners, sneaking into clubs or in parks like I was
I intend to let my dc try alcohol when they're old enough.

its not actually illegal for kids to play 18 games. They cant buy alone but there isnt anything illegal about playing them

The post is quite hyperbolic so I'm wondering how precise the details are, nobody should ever drunk a box(crate?) of WKDs but the post doesn't say that. It implies a lot though.

They probably have to work damn hard at their strict private school and the xbox is their well-earned R&R. Kids do grow through a gruff phase at about 13 but come out the other side!

..and it's perfectly legal for over 5s to drink on private premises.

Just a hunch op. So how old are your kids?

So does that mean just because you can give an over 5 alcohol then it's ok to let your 5yo wander about with a Bacardi Breezer just because they're on holiday?

MamMumra, I asked the OP to qualify how many bottles, and she replied with 'an entire box'.

But they're not 5, are they?

Just saw your previous post OP about the box of wkd (4?)
Still think yabu and possibly exaggerating

It's not something I would personally do, Oxygene but it is not my child and therefore not my business.

Tell me, what were you drinking at this shindig? Pepsi? Were you setting a good example or were you quietly getting shitfaced?

Yes saw thatdahlen should have read more carefully

Nobody has let their 5yo wander round with a Bacardi breezer though have they?

So, I'll ask again, how old are your kids?

Just wondering why you'd assume I had a 2yo from what i've said that's all. Wasn't aware of even mentioning my offspring. There must be something I said to make you think that. Is it because you think i've got no experience with teenagers or something?

Mama - just makes a change for it not to be me. I am the queen of skim-reading and missing things.

"ThePigOn...what makes you think or say i've got a 2 year old? What is it that makes you think that?"

Probably just speculation. Your post reads like someone who probably only has experience yet with a baby or toddler rather than a teenager so you can't imagine your cute ickle PFB indulging in anything that many of us would recognize as typical teenage behaviour.

But of course I could be wrong.

Some one up thread did ask how old your DCs are....

You post as if you've got no experience of teenagers, yes. Maybe I'm making an assumption but if you don't tell us, your posting style is all we have to go on

I wouldn't have a problem with a teenager having a small amount to drink with family - depends how much he was drinking, I guess. I do find those computer games horrible and unsociable, but then I'm not a teenage boy so I guess they're not aimed at me!

YABU about the Cadets though. I don't have personal experience, but am pretty sure it's not about aggression and playing with guns!

You can think they're bad parents if you want, though since you asked I do think you're over-reacting, and don't really understand why you're so bothered about what other parents do.

Teenagers will be exactlly that-teenagers: if parents don't allow alchol or games etc, they will rebel and get drunk out of the home and might get involved in gangs etc.
My kids are not teens yet, but i remember being one and yes at 14 i was allowed the odd alcholic beverages and to play resident evil-it didn't do me any harm, infact it stopped me being on the streets with bad kids.
Your sil & bro are doing what they have to do to keep there kids indoors, best place for them considering the way the world is now

You're not really getting it though Oxygene though are you? with respect children don't have alot of freedom now because parents are hysterical and think their is a peado behind every tree and think keeping them locked up is best for them, which leads to parents to sticking them infront of screens to keep occupied, when they should be out playing.

So really its a lack of freedom which is the problem, and don't get me started on kids of today

yes.....there were no anti social moody teenagers before 1970 I have no doubt

Oh wait.....my mum/dads generation were in the pubs and drinking and smoking was much more acceptable

Lots of different issues going on there.

The drinking is not against the law and in theory I tend to think that normalising small amounts of drinking alcohol in the family environment could prevent binge drinking later on. It is also NOT illegal.

The playing video games again wouldn't be my choice but really not your business.

On them being rude and antisocial, I agree this is not good and I don't agree with texting at the dinner table BUT teenage boys can just be 'like this'. I've seen it all with my nephew and they normally outgrow it.

Nothing in your op suggests that they are going off the rails.