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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To suggest paying less rent to DP?

240 replies

violetbunny · 11/07/2012 18:52

Be kind, this is my first post in AIBU! I'm moving in with DP and can't decide what is a fair amount of rent to pay him.

Background:
DP owns a 3-bedroom house. He occupies 1 bedroom, and rents the other 2 rooms to lodgers at £500pcm each (inc. utilities). The lodgers will remain for now. All bedrooms are of equal size and the rest of the house is a shared area.

The issue:
The plan is for DP and I to share a room when I move in, and we need to agree how much rent I should pay. As DP owns the house, it's not like there is a fixed amount of rent owed on the property which we need to divide up. He has a mortgage, though this is already covered by the rent from the existing lodgers. He has suggested that I pay £400pcm, but given I think I could rent a similar sized room in the area on my own for around £450-500pcm, I think this seems a bit high. His reasoning for it being so much is that he thinks he's undercharging the lodgers. I've searched online for room rentals in the area and so far the evidence suggests the lodgers are paying about the market rate, but I could be wrong.

My suggestion is to ask DP to work out the cost of his room (based on what the lodgers pay, I'd say it's £500pcm minus utilities), and I will pay half of that. Plus I'll pay some extra on top as well to cover my share of the utilities (total utilities divided by 4 people). I'm fairly sure the total amount will be less than £400pcm, so I want to be sure that my reasoning is fair before I suggest it. So, please tell me, is this a fair approach or AIBU?

Note: Before you all tell me to "leave the bastard", I should mention DP is generally quite kind-hearted and generous, but is the first to admit he doesn't have a head for figures. He has most likely plucked a number out of the air without giving it any proper analysis, IYSWIM.

OP posts:
OldGreyWiffleTest · 11/07/2012 18:55

He is not being fair to you at all. The most you should be paying is £250 if you are sharing a room with him.

50ShadesOfGreggs · 11/07/2012 18:56

Half of the actual cost of the room sounds fair to me.

WorraLiberty · 11/07/2012 18:57

It all sounds so romantic Grin

Are you likely to be doing any cooking/washing/ironing or housework for him?

50ShadesOfGreggs · 11/07/2012 18:57

That is, £250, just to clarify :)

attheendoftheday · 11/07/2012 18:59

What you're suggesting sounds fair to me, I would expect to pay no more than half the lodger's rate plus utilities.

But I would have a few concerns about how vulnerable you'd be if your relationship broke down, you would have no where to go. If your dp is charging you rent, make sure you have a contract and know about tenant's rights.

violetbunny · 11/07/2012 18:59

WorraLiberty - no, that will all be shared equally as far as I'm concerned!

OP posts:
HecateHarshPants · 11/07/2012 19:00

surely £250 would be fair. The other occupants get a whole room to themselves for £500. You have to share with another person. So it should be half each.

violetbunny · 11/07/2012 19:01

attheendoftheday - yes, I agree that a written tenancy agreement would be wise and have suggested this already.

OP posts:
dottygirl1 · 11/07/2012 19:01

If a room with utilities is 500 per month then you should pay 250 for sharing a room. Simple as that.

Good Luck!!

Bunbaker · 11/07/2012 19:01

Round here you can rent a three bedroom house for £500 pcm, not half a bedroom!!!!!

ENormaSnob · 11/07/2012 19:02

Half the room cost would be fair.

McHappyPants2012 · 11/07/2012 19:03

To me it seems wrong handing money over to a partner as rent money. I would be happy to take on some bills but for some reason wouldn't want to pay rent to my husband

DublinMammy · 11/07/2012 19:03

£250 as you will be sharing with him. Agree on the contract point mentioned by others.

OhTheConfusion · 11/07/2012 19:04

I would agree that £250 sounds fair as until the lodger leave the mortgage is covered so if your not going to be using £400 worth of extra utilities then your bf would be making a profit from you moving in!

£250 is half the cost of the room and that seems more than fair.

LaurieFairyCake · 11/07/2012 19:04

Agree that half the room cost is fair.

WorraLiberty · 11/07/2012 19:05

A 3 bed house here is around £1,300 per month (London Borough)

What ever you decide upon, I agree a contract is a definite must have.

violetbunny · 11/07/2012 19:06

McHappyPants - we are not married (no kids either) and so currently keep our finances separate. We both earn about the same amount anyway so for now I feel it works best for us.

OP posts:
BackforGood · 11/07/2012 19:07

I would be wondewring if the lodgers are going to get a reduction.
At present, they are paying £500 to share a house with 2 others, not unreasonable for them to either think "it's getting a bit crowded around here" or for them to want a reduction in their rent if there's a longer wait for the bathroom / washing machine / etc.

McHappyPants2012 · 11/07/2012 19:08

A contact to move in with a loving partner are you all serious.

DunkyWhorey · 11/07/2012 19:08

Yep, definitely half.

And don't let him, or any of the other lodgers treat you like the hired help. Pull your weight re cooking, cleaning, gardening etc but do your own washing and ironing, and start as you mean to go on.

ginmakesitallok · 11/07/2012 19:08

But why on earth should you pay him any rent if he is not incurring any additional cost because of you moving in??? (I do think you should pay towards utilities). If you pay him rent then he's just profiting from you moving in/?

WetAugust · 11/07/2012 19:09

This sounds more like a business arrangement than a loving partnership Sad

fedupofnamechanging · 11/07/2012 19:09

I don't think you should be paying any rent at all, tbh. His mortgage is covered by the tenants, so he is making a profit out of you being there. You are essentially paying for the privilege of being his on tap shag.

Contributing towards bills is fair enough, but this sounds more like a business proposition than a romantic relationship.

SauvignonBlanche · 11/07/2012 19:10

Lodgers with benefits, that's a new one for me. Hmm

fedupofnamechanging · 11/07/2012 19:11

X posted with some of you, there.