To suggest paying less rent to DP?

[violetbunny]

Be kind, this is my first post in AIBU! I'm moving in with DP and can't decide what is a fair amount of rent to pay him.

Background:
DP owns a 3-bedroom house. He occupies 1 bedroom, and rents the other 2 rooms to lodgers at £500pcm each (inc. utilities). The lodgers will remain for now. All bedrooms are of equal size and the rest of the house is a shared area.

The issue:
The plan is for DP and I to share a room when I move in, and we need to agree how much rent I should pay. As DP owns the house, it's not like there is a fixed amount of rent owed on the property which we need to divide up. He has a mortgage, though this is already covered by the rent from the existing lodgers. He has suggested that I pay £400pcm, but given I think I could rent a similar sized room in the area on my own for around £450-500pcm, I think this seems a bit high. His reasoning for it being so much is that he thinks he's undercharging the lodgers. I've searched online for room rentals in the area and so far the evidence suggests the lodgers are paying about the market rate, but I could be wrong.

My suggestion is to ask DP to work out the cost of his room (based on what the lodgers pay, I'd say it's £500pcm minus utilities), and I will pay half of that. Plus I'll pay some extra on top as well to cover my share of the utilities (total utilities divided by 4 people). I'm fairly sure the total amount will be less than £400pcm, so I want to be sure that my reasoning is fair before I suggest it. So, please tell me, is this a fair approach or AIBU?

Note: Before you all tell me to "leave the bastard", I should mention DP is generally quite kind-hearted and generous, but is the first to admit he doesn't have a head for figures. He has most likely plucked a number out of the air without giving it any proper analysis, IYSWIM.

BackforGood - I've wondered the same thing actually. Apparently they are fine with me moving in (they all get along fairly well together) but if I was in their position I'd definitely be asking for a reduction!

If you were on the game, how much a shag would you get?

Are you to be deducting that?

As an after thought, arangements are either business or personal, the two don't mix.

I think he should be paying you - after all you will be fabulous company and keep his feet warm at night - so get him to pay you 100 quid a week

If his mortgage is completely covered by tenants then you should pay £0 rent, and half the costs. If he pays £200 for eg you should half it. Remember if you pay part of his mortgage you could argue you have a share in the house! so it all needs to be above board and clear for him as well as you.

By costs I mean utilities and food

when i moved in with my now-DH we decided we should both be better off by the same amount so we took the amount i was saving by not living in my own flat and divided that in two and i paid him half... that way we were both better off by the same amount.

He should charge you half of whatever the mortgage he had to pay is, after the contributions from the other tenants. You are not a tenant you are his partner. Her should not be making money from your relationship. So, if he has his entire mortgage covered in lodger rent, then why should you pay anything towards rent? You should pay your fair share of all outgoings, of course, and contribute to the upkeep of the property.

Err he is trying to shaft you.

Pay half of what the lodgers are paying.

Just what gin says. He is benefiting from you moving in with him. You are helping him to pay his mortgage. If you stay a year he's made nearly £5000 out of you!

You earn the same amount of money, you say. Is there any way you could buy a house for yourself, that you could rent out? I am really worried that you could live with him for ten years, pay him £50,000 and be left with nothing.

And I know people can say well, that's what happens with rent. It just seems wrong, though, that he has asked her to move in and then asks for rent when it's not costing him any more.

btw. i think some posters are being cruel - why not pay some rent? i wouldn't be comfortable living in a newish partners house for free, i would always pay my own way until any joint decision otherwise.

karmabeliever - I do think I should at least be paying something towards living there beyond the utilities. I'm trying to be fair by treating the situation objectively (i.e. if the house was owned by someone else, what would I suggest paying?).

Leave the bastard, he might be kind and generous, but is also tight or stupid and trying to take advantage of you.

It doesn't take much brains to know that if rooms at his house are rented at £500 per month, £400 is not half of it.

Frankly, if you are having to solve these kind of problems begore moving in, what can you expect once you both are used to each other's company?
I can assure you that it will descend into a flatmateship rather than a proper relationship where you both can rely on each other.

He will be profiting by your moving in. I agree with paying your way and not getting a free ride, but this should be beneficial to you both.

Hold on - she should pay something! If it was the other way round paying nothing except utilities everyone would be crying "cocklodger"

Presumably the OP is NOW NOT having to pay retn somewhere else or is renting out her place in lieu of her moving in. So if he were charging nothing then she'd be the one profiteering?

You've not even moved in and he's looking to screw you over!

Sorry - not sure why you would pay him rent if his mortgage is covered, assuming you are in a ltr with him. Weird that he would expect it and that you would want to do it IMHO.

I've been in a similar situation and we contributed equally to the bills, food and housework.

"i think some posters are being cruel - why not pay some rent"

Because he is running an existing business, whilst some money towards the bills may be appropriate, rent wouldn't be.

The OP needs to know exactly where she stands, otherwise this will go per shaped for her and she will not have the funds to rehouse herself.

Unless he is going to draw up a legal contract.

If you're moving in together as a couple, you should split your housing costs down the middle. At the minute he hasn't got any housing costs. Therefore you shouldn't have to pay anything.

This would put me RIGHT off someone.

This isn't a family home that she is moving into, that factor changes everything.

Absolutely feel you should pay your way, BTW, but he's just taking the piss. Run. Fast.

The point is that you are about to move in with your dp, when I moved in with dp now dh I put the rent I was paying into savings as a safety net incase the relationship ended, ( this was dp idea )it didn't it got stronger. The money then was used to buy dc1 baby items.

Everything has changed now, I pay all the rent where he pays the everything else.

ImperialBlether - what we've discussed so far is that while the situation stays as it is with the lodgers there, I will pay some amount of rent. Longer term, if living together goes well (as we've not lived together before), we will review the situation. For example, if we decided at some point that we want to have the place to ourselves, I think we'd be looking at a totally different agreement.

I find it is a bit weird that he is charging you rent. If he had a mortgage to pay then i could understand because that would need to be paid. What does he need your money for??

I say you should look for what you can get in the area and show him the market rate. Or just tell him that you will pay your share of the utilities.

He clearly has no head fo figures at all.

If he kicked the single people out of their rooms and brought in some cohabiting couples and charged them 2 x £400 as he is proposing to do with with you then he would be quids in!