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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want to punch a dolphin?

300 replies

SillyBeardyDaddyman · 27/06/2012 14:08

Right in his smug face.

Bastards the lot of em. Especially flipper. What a dick.

Anyone else want to join me? Or do you have your own brand of animal hatred? Want to kick a meercat? I'm not gonna stop you...

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5madthings · 27/06/2012 15:24

slugs, we have a slug problem in our dining rm, every night without fail they get in under the patio doors somehow, or through the floorboards? i dont know disgusting little fuckers they are, drive me mad, and i am evil and do pour salt on them sometimes!

oh meercats, i used to like them, well i liked what i saw of them on the tv then i saw some real ones at a zoo and was very disappointed in their littleness, and they werent nearly as interesting as they were on the tv, such a let down!

tbh if i could i would just shave all animals, i am allergic to their fur you see, they make me itch and sneeze, cats, dogs, rabbits, guinea pigs i cant go the garden centre withotu turnign into an itchy, wheezy irritable thing, even if i dose up on antihistimines, so just get rid of all the furry animals!

i also agree, swans are scary, i was chased by a swan once, never ran so fast in my life!

SecretSparkle · 27/06/2012 15:25

This reply has been deleted

The OP has privacy concerns about this post and so we've agreed to take it down.

PandaWatch · 27/06/2012 15:26

5madthings were they not wearing smoking jackets and speaking in Russian accents?

Magneto · 27/06/2012 15:27

Does Tigger count as an animal? Stupid bouncy trouncy flouncy pouncy idiot. Thank god there's only one

PandaWatch · 27/06/2012 15:28

But tiggers are wonderful things!

SillyBeardyDaddyman · 27/06/2012 15:28

Did they try to sell you insurance? It's all a scam, not one is a member of the chartered insurance institute!

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SillyBeardyDaddyman · 27/06/2012 15:30

I have a tigger skin rug

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5madthings · 27/06/2012 15:31

no, no clothes at all panda they didnt talk either, they didnt do much at all other than stand and look at us through the glass and they are very small, not that i am sizeist, i am on ly 5 2 myself but i always thought they were bigger and they looked so cool on the tv, such a disappointment.

if we are doing fictional animals what about 'rahh rahh the lion' noisy little fucker, someone give him a kick.

Foshizzle · 27/06/2012 15:32

WTF?

Magneto · 27/06/2012 15:33

We're watching Rah Rah now Grin

Cynner · 27/06/2012 15:42

Chickens..nasty little bitches..trying to peck your eyes out just because you are trying to take their young..do not get me started on bunnies..and hamsters..needed stitches after brawling with both..

TitsalinaBumSquash · 27/06/2012 15:44

I used to have a pet swan as a child so I can't condone Swan punchery.

TitsalinaBumSquash · 27/06/2012 15:45

I'm not overenthusiastic about cows tbh, they seem so stupid, they're lucky (or not in fact) that steak is so damn tasty, at least they have something going for them.

SillyBeardyDaddyman · 27/06/2012 15:46

A pet swan?

Your majesty!
Grin

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SillyBeardyDaddyman · 27/06/2012 15:47

The only reason cows haven't become extinct is because they're made of steak. True fact.

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TitsalinaBumSquash · 27/06/2012 15:50

I am sadly not her maj, there was an injured on in the harbour my family used to care for and live next to so we adopted it, his name was George, nice chap. :)

Petsinmypudenda · 27/06/2012 16:00

You got mugged by a swan?

When Me and my sister were little having a picnic near a river full of swans. My dad went off to get ice creams and left me in charge. I told he to sit down and close her eyes and she would get a present, I t hen put the bread we brought in a circle around her plus some in her hood and on her shoes, as the swans stated to peck I told her to open her eyes. She screamed and got up really fast startling the swans who reared up and flapped their wings scaring her more.

It was brilliant up until my dad came back and caught me. He chucked my Mr whippy in the bin.

20 years on she is still afraid of anything with wings and wont take her own kids to feed swans or ducks

SillyBeardyDaddyman · 27/06/2012 16:09

I was 6, it was bigger than me and it wanted my crisps... :(

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TitsalinaBumSquash · 27/06/2012 16:11

My Dad is terrified of Geese after one bit bit his willy when he was peeing in a bush when he was 5. This story always makes me Grin

maytheoddsbeeverinyourfavour · 27/06/2012 16:18

I would quite like to punch one of those devil dogs English bull terriers in the face, but I would be too scared to

And those weird furless boney evil cats

And posters who come on threads just to tell you how pointless the thread is Wink

SillyBeardyDaddyman · 27/06/2012 16:18

Grin Grin Grin

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cocolepew · 27/06/2012 16:21

I have photographic evidence of DD slapping a chicken when she was 3. It is most excellent.

When I lived in Germany there was a park with the most vicious black swan in it. Nobody ever went into it because of it.

SillyBeardyDaddyman · 27/06/2012 16:21

Now now. We can't go around punching people who've had a sense of humour transplant, that's humorous humorist unkind :)

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cocolepew · 27/06/2012 16:22

Bats! Fuck them being protected by tree huggers. They have to go on the punching list.

Magneto · 27/06/2012 16:22

My dad was attacked by geese once when he was drunk. It was his own fault for falling into their garden and the geese won.