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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make 20yo DD and her boyfriend sleep in different rooms in my house?

373 replies

wishinonastar · 15/06/2012 23:32

DD (20) and her boyfriend (19) are at the same uni and have been together for 18 months. He lives at the opposite end of the country to us so whenever he visits during the holidays he stays for a least a few nights, and right from his first visit we put him in the spare room. Since I am sure that they are sleeping together at uni, am I being ridiculously old fashioned by not letting them share a room now they've been together for a substantial amount of time?

OP posts:
HorraceTheOtter · 15/06/2012 23:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty · 15/06/2012 23:35

What Horrace said.

Rabbitee · 15/06/2012 23:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DilysPrice · 15/06/2012 23:36

Yes, YABU. And since you clearly know it, why are you doing it?

Noqontrol · 15/06/2012 23:36

Probably a bit, yes.

flexybex · 15/06/2012 23:36

In a way. But the layout of your house may be affecting your decision . My ds is way away from us just because of the layout (not the size) of our house, so there are no embarrassing situations!

NeverFearWonderWomanIsHere · 15/06/2012 23:37

YABU sorry, my DSD's boyfriend has been sleeping in her bed for over a year (and she's right next to my young dds bedroom) and she's 19.

OfCourseImAlwaysRight · 15/06/2012 23:38

If it was a new relationship then yes, seperate rooms, but after 18months i think naybe now should be the time that they are deemed long term enough to stay in the same room when together, however..as above it is your house so your rules.

rollingfog143 · 15/06/2012 23:38

yabu.

Magneto · 15/06/2012 23:38

YABU but as others have said it's your house, your rules.

They will find a way to sleep together under your roof anyway.

Hownoobrooncoo · 15/06/2012 23:39

Probably old fashioned considering how long they have been together but you have to be comfortable in your own house. I was living with my husband to be, my mum would come to stay with us but when we went home to visit we had to sleep separately. It never bothered me, it was just bizarre.

NatashaBee · 15/06/2012 23:39

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Solo · 15/06/2012 23:39

YANBU, your house, your rules.

oshuk · 15/06/2012 23:41

My mum and dad made me do this and it doesn't stop anything happening! I allowed ds to have his g/f over to stay in his room, but not sure if I would feel the same about dd.

Not sure if you are BU or not really.

larks35 · 15/06/2012 23:41

Yes, yabu, but I can sort of understand why you do it my parents were the same. I used to sneak down to the guest bedroom once my parents were in bed, I'm sure they didn't know Wink

BarredfromhavingStella · 15/06/2012 23:42

Your house your rules but she is old enough to decide who she wants to shag & if not in your house where do you suppose they are going to do it..........Hmm

marriedinwhite · 15/06/2012 23:42

You put him in the spare room. I would do the same but I'm not sure I would be too fussed about where my dd slept so long as she was discreet. DH and I still couldn't contemplate hanky panky at my mother's and we have been married for 21 years.

MammaTJ · 15/06/2012 23:42

Kinda YHYR, but, they are old enough, they are sensible enough, get over it!! That is if you want to!

FidgetPie · 15/06/2012 23:43

Yes.
If you decide they can share a room, let them know in advance - to save the awkward conversation/ moment when you are all about to go to bed.

BellaOfTheBalls · 15/06/2012 23:43

Your house your rules, but YABU. And they will probably sneak in together after you've gone to bed anyway.

They need to respect your home and your position on the matter. But also they are adults and in a long term relationship so maybe that deserves a little respect too?

Belmo · 15/06/2012 23:44

My mum did that so we snuck downstairs during the night and shagged on the sofa. I'd let them have the bed if I were you! Grin

EdithWeston · 15/06/2012 23:44

Keep them apart, but do not police any nocturnal corridor creeping. The added frisson of sneaking behind parent's backs should not be under-rated.

BeautifulBlondePineapple · 15/06/2012 23:45

Your house your rules, but I think you are being a bit unreasonable. DH and I have been together since we met 20 yrs ago at uni aged 18. My parents put us in separate rooms from the first visit, but the problem is....when do you suddenly decide it is acceptable for them to share a room?

We were actually living together and practically engaged before it was deemed acceptable to share a room (and that was only because there were too many people staying in the house!). I love my parents and DH gets on with them very well, but it was really not very welcoming and rather stressful going there while we weren't allowed to share a room...even when we had been together 5 years.

We respected my parents and didn't creep around at night, but I felt a lot more relaxed at DH's parent's place where we shared a room from day 1.

Latara · 15/06/2012 23:46

YABU. They are adults in an adult relationship.

When my parents got married (aged 18 & 20) after an engagement lasting approx 18 months - they moved into my Mum's parents' spare bedroom as they had no money for their own place.
Same with my best mate's parents - in fact 2 of their 3 children were conceived in their parents' small house when they lived there for a few years after the wedding.
Get them a lock for the bedroom door - they are likely to be discreet anyway.
If there are younger kids around then they will know that adult couples share bedrooms.

Mrbojangles1 · 15/06/2012 23:46

Sorry your house your rules my oh said the only person who is gonna be shaging in our house is us

Let them shag at his house Its about repsect

If you dont want the emanrassemnt of hearing them or walking in on them also if their doing it at uni i am sure they can refrain from it for a few days visit