To make 20yo DD and her boyfriend sleep in different rooms in my house?

[wishinonastar]

DD (20) and her boyfriend (19) are at the same uni and have been together for 18 months. He lives at the opposite end of the country to us so whenever he visits during the holidays he stays for a least a few nights, and right from his first visit we put him in the spare room. Since I am sure that they are sleeping together at uni, am I being ridiculously old fashioned by not letting them share a room now they've been together for a substantial amount of time?

Krumbum this will go nowhere if you think the Bible is not true. I believe it is true.

The whole discussion is worthless if we do not have a common set of principles from which to argue. If you're arguing from the harm principle and sec-hum values, you will not meet me halfway when I argue from faith.

Please, everyone. I have done serious debates with serious and respectful Christians, some who I would count as friends, who disagree that the moral requirement for sex to be within a heterosexual marriage a)ever existed or b)still applies today. I will NOT get into the "same old, same old" questions about Leviticus and putting-to-death and why not mixed fibres or shellfish and "Jesus taught love" and "don't judge" and people asking me to prove "my" "god".

I have better things to do with my time than answer these sort of questions. Read theology if you want to know why the Bible is accepted by a huge swathe of theologians across the Church to condemn acts of sex between two men or two women.
Or if you're an atheist then don't bother. But I am a Christian, and I have heard it all before about "prove it" etc. Repeating myself on these issues is tiresome.

Finally, I do not consider it disrespectful to call a relationship "immoral" when it is according to Scripture, or to block "adults" sleeping together. Being an adult does not give you ANY moral right to share anyone's bed on their private residential property. It is as simple as that. If you want discrimination-free rooms to have sex in, try a hotel or B&B, now our meddling government has barred all owners of such establishments from making up their own minds on whether to admit gays. Personally I don't believe that a hotel/B&B owner should raise moral objections to what is being done in the rooms people have paid for; he is providing a service. Yet I am dismayed that Cameron and his "conservative" government have not overturned the Equality Act so people who think differently on this can run their businesses in accordance with principle.

The problem with the Bible is that you can use it to say whatever you want it to say. My father had someone who would always write a Bible quote to prove their point and he could always write back-having found one that said the opposite.

I wonder if you'd think differently if it was seen as immoral to love who you love.

It really does disgust me how homosexual people still face this sort of attitude, all because of a story in a book.

All I'm reading is blah blah hypocrisy blah blah yadah yada more hypocrisy blah blah homophobic

47, I have a degree of sympathy with the idea that people should be able to supply a service, or not, to whoever they want, if they own their own business. The danger with this though, is that we will return to a society where certain people will refuse to serve black people and gay people and whoever else they fancy discriminating against.

In the end, I think most people would conclude that protecting true equality is more important than protecting someone's right to act on their bigoted views.

While I believe in the freedom to say anything you like, I don't believe in the freedom to act in a way that inhibits other people's freedom.

So your homophobic B&B owners will just have to accept that this is the way it is.

What your saying is part of the reason why gay people are beaten on the streets, get so depressed they kill themselves and lose all contact with friends and family, you can pretend your not homophobic but treating certain people as second class citizens is and does cause destruction.
Your selfish, narrow minded views are even worse than those already written in the bible. Your religion is not at fault, you are.
And yeah I don't have faith cos I'm not a gullible idiot.
I do not judge people for not being just like me I only judge people when they act like arseholes...

47 are all the people you just mentioned, on this thread? If not, then I don't think it's fair to discuss them in their absence and to drag things from one thread to another, when we can't even see the thread you are talking about, due to its deletion. It's bad form imo

Sounds a fascinating thread of which I have no memory whatsoever!

DD 17 has her boyfriend to stay in her room and she stays at his house, in his room. She has no younger siblings, he has three. His parents and I have never discussed the matter.

My parents were exceedingly strict and I had hang-ups for years. I simply have no problem with them doing what comes naturally. They are quiet and discreet and whether or not they actually have sex when I am in the house I simply do not know. The only discussion I have had with DD is about the absolute necessity for contraception.

My family are Jewish. You do know gay people were targetted for concentration camps as well?

I don't really get why you brought up abortion, completely irrelevant. So is the fact that you know some Jewish people.
You are part of the problem, there is EVIDENCE for that.
Your selfish because you think your views and how you Choose to live your life should mean you have control over other peoples lives, even though it will affect them negatively.
You can consider all you want but a rational person can see that fairy stories arnt reality.
I don't believe anything goes. Some things that don't 'go' for me are sexism, racism, homophobia and many other things that actually hurt people and make their lives painful. I will fight against these things as much as I can because I care about those who are oppressed within society when they have done nothing wrong. Not very gullible, seeing as most people are quite sexist, but that doesn't make it right because it hurts people.
Very aggressive behaviour won't help your cause so maybe try not doing that?

Mutual masturbation is fine between married couples? But I though the bible condemned masturbation?

To oshuk. If you apply a different standard to your daughter than you do for your son you will end up storing up a lot of resentment inside your daughter.

47

I'm bisexual. My mother accepted my previous female partner with open arms.

When I was a CHILD I had to have an abortion due to falling pregnant to an internet predator.

Oh, and I am a devout Catholic. You know who Jesus spent his time with? Whores, gays, lepers. He condemned people with your 'morals.'

Do you wear mixed fabrics? Eat shellfish? Own slaves? Marry a man who raped you?

Because the bible also says those things are acceptable if not obeyed you will go to Hell. I (hope) you think owning slaves and forced marriages to rapists is ludicrous. In fact, having studied philosophy of the bible it is widely believed now that the reference in Leviticus is actually about adultery, not homosexuality.

So you're just as much a 'sinner' as I am. Yes, before you jump in; I know we are all sinners. But you're just a hypocrite if you don't follow every 'sin' in the bible.

I will pray for you, because you are no Catholic/Christian.

In fact, the Atheists here are following the word of The Lord far more than you are.

No offence to Atheists, NOT saying you have faith; just saying you have wonderful morals and values!

Ok 47 if you're not part of the problem causing gay people (especially teenagers recently) to commit suicide, what does make them do it? Who do you think is responsible for making them feel so worthless, frightened and alone? Because I can't imagine being told that you're unnatural and perverted to fancy and love your own sex will make anyone feel good. But you don't think it contributes to gay suicide rates?

47 That's the beauty of the internet, if you express a view you can be challenged on it, just like you're challenging my post. You don't get to decide how people can respond, just as I can't.

So I stand by my opinion that you are no Catholic. Not even close.

Oh and I didn't need any therapy after my termination. I was just glad that parasite was out of my body and I could continue to be a regular child. Personally, I think people should be more disgusted I was raped than that I had an abortion. But as I said, we're all entitled to our opinions.

Oh I apologise. You're no CHRISTIAN, not no Catholic. My mistake. :)

Well many of us don't want to hear the 'same old shit' homophobic arguments that you are spouting either. It's both wearing and depressing. Luckily such views are becoming very much in the minority as people slowly learn to listen to their own hearts and think through their own ethical positions, which has nothing to do with 'anything goes', but about recognising our common humanity over rules written and edited over a long period of time for a whole variety of reasons, some of which have been conveniently forgotten and other raised above all significance.

You introduced your homophobic views to this thread so I'm afraid you'll have to observe, even if you don't wish to read the responses.

Oh and there is plenty of evidence that children who are gay or bisexual are subject to a much higher rate of bullying, indeed just recently UNESCO produced a report showing that this is a significant problem worldwide. As for the Christian response, well you just have to see the almighty fuss that the Catholic school board in Ontario, Canada made when the provincial government wanted to require them to allow secondary school children to be able to organise anti-homophobic bullying clubs, and call them 'gay-straight alliances' if they so chose (the name chosen by children at many schools) and the lovely support guidance produced that includes words about being 'disordered'. Suicide rates for lesbian, gay and bisexual teens are already high, but they are even higher in conservative unsupportive environments so please don't kid yourself that your attitude does not cause harm.

YANBU
although they have been together 18months you haven't spent all that time with him, you barely know him. Fair enough they do what they like outside of your house, but I think it is important that you get to a point of allowing him to share the room with her at a pace you are comfortable with. He has to earn your trust and respect.
My husband and I got together at school and it took a few years before we were allowed to share a room at his parent's house but I expected it and it made it nicer when were then WERE allowed to. At my parent's house we were all allowed to have partners around from the word go and sometimes it felt a bit like a hotel; my brothers bringing around about 5 of different girlfriends was not a positive image for me as a 14-18 year old. I still much prefer MIL's system, where you earn the right to do that. Also, I think it makes them realise that sex is a massive deal.