Splitting Bill in Restaurant - AIBU / WWYD?

[Shiftinglard]

A couple of weeks ago 9 of us went out for a meal for my birthday. We went to a local restaurant, and had (I thought!) a really good time.

The bill came to £360 including all the drinks, so DH split it so we all paid £40 each leaving a £36 tip. We normally do it this way rather than getting the menu and splitting up the bill, we had said first and everyone was ok with this. We had really good service and food, and a couple of the waiting staff were teens that we know. DH was paying for mine, so whilst the they went to pay, I went off the loo then through to the bar. The others joined us,and we had a really good fun evening.

However, the next day one of my friends said that a guest (a friend I used to work with, I work in the same company but have moved base so still have contact with her) had looked aghast at the bill, literally jaw dropped, and said that as she hadn't had a starter or drank as much as us she thought it was "extortionate" (her husband had drank quite a bit).

I felt really bad at this, the friend in question and her DH had stayed at our house, but had left before we got up the next day (10am) however did send a text saying thanks for a good evening, and will see me soon. I thought about it for a bit, then emailed her and offered to reimburse her £20 as I didn't want her to feel she had been subsidising our food/wine, that I really enjoyed their company and thanked them for coming, and didn't want her to be put off coming again if she found it too expensive. I haven't heard back from her since.

Since then, I saw one of the teens who was on the waiting staff , who I know through my kids. She said we were a "bit miserable not leaving a tip", which I felt upset about. I then realised that the friend who was against paying waited until everyone had paid their £40, then stepped up and made up the difference to the bill, paying £44 for them both, so that no tip was left at all.

Should I just leave it? I find it odd I haven't heard back from her after offering to reimburse her some of the bill. It could also be awkward if I see her at work.

Tear her a new one.

You've not heard back from her because she doesn't want to admit that she was such a tightwad, taking money from the waiting staff.

If you know the teens outside of their work, maybe you could offer them something to make up the money that was taken from them, or tip them extra next time you go to the restaurant.

I would be polite to the 'friend' but leave it at that. She should be the one who feels awkward.

That is really disgraceful.

But didn't you say that your husband went up to pay?

She should feel awkward not you, I find it childish when people insist on working out exactly what they had & therefore how much they owe....kinda goes against the spirit of sharing a meal.

I'd give the £20 to the wait staff and if and when she gets in touch tell her what you've done.

I'm willing to bet you never hear from her again.

That's awful behaviour! What a tightwad.

Always a tricky area eating out with friends.

We recently ate out with a lovely couple that we know, DH put in our share including 10% tip on our half only to find that this was the full tip so the staff were getting 5%. I was really embarassed as the service had been great, but didn't want to put the extra in as a) its already expensive enough going out for a meal and b) didn't want to embarass them.

I would just leave it, but if you see her again and she mentions something about getting money back I would mention what you had heard about the tip and say that you are quits.

I wouldn't go out with them again or if you must then make it very clear at the start of the meal that it will be split and if they don't want to do that then they should get a separate bill and their own drink. People often don't realise that wine/drinks add so much to the overall bill, I find it slightly annoying as I drink one glass tops, but overall I don't mind as its worth being out with friends.

Yes my husband went up to pay for me and him, they all went up to the cash desk and put took it in turns to pay, either cash or put their cards in the machine as the total went down, she went last and the bill was then at £44, she should have paid £80 which would allow the £36 tip, but she paid £44.

I think with larger groups it's really hard as some people drink, some don't, some like steak , some have pizza. If we go out in a large group we always try to aim for places where you order food and drinks at the bar that way you all pay for your own and that's that.
Your friend was cheeky and dishonest, in fact I'd go as far as to call it theft.

9 x 40 comes to 360... where is the tip then?

Give the £20 to the waiters,

You apologise to the teens who waited at your table and give them the tip they should have had. The rest you write down to experience.

Personally, I think if you invite people for a celebration you should pay for some of it and would have paid for the wine if I were you or would have said we don't want anyone to pay more than £25 and paid the balance.

Your friend shouldn't have discussed the reaction of the other friend with you. That was gossip and was something that has clearly spoilt your evening.

Its difficult when people are tight especially if you suspect they were a bit underhand about it.

This happened to us when we went out for a meal with another couple (parents of one of the DCs friend). When it came to the bill we agreed to split down the middle and leave a tip (as the food and service were excellent) but the husband of this couple said he didn't agree with leaving a tip as "thats what minimum wage is for" .

We put our half including tip on the table in cash, the husband picked it up and went to the bar to pay by card despite the fact that the waiters come to your table with the portable Visa machines. We strongly suspect that he paid the balance of the bill after out money and tip had been deducted from it and therefore left no tip.

We didn't confront him as we had no proof but he's since shown himself to be tighter than a gnats chuff in other situations too so I think our hunch was right.

Jesus, I'd like to say I hadn't heard of that before but we had a few people do similar when I was waitressing last year. What a tightwadded bitch. Definitely don't invite her out again and make it clear just why you won't. I'd probably drop contact with somebody who did that, but I feel very strongly about leaving tips for waiting staff.

Sorry the bill was £324, my DH made it up to £360 - getting a bit confused with the maths! Our bill should have been £36 each without a tip.

I'd tell her that you had spoken to the wait staff and that you are appalled that she would steal the tip from a pair of kids waiting on.

then explain that you do not expect such behaviour from an adult and a friend, and that she should have spoken to you at the time when you were splitting the bill.

did no-one count out the money before handing it to the waitress to check it was all there? Hate tightness like that.

The scabby cow!

Do you mean she used the tip to pay her share of the bill ?

That's outrageous, no wonder she left in a hurry the next day. She should be ashamed of herself. If she couldn't afford it she shouldn't have come at all. Wow.

That's awful.

I don't like to think people behave like that either, but unfortunately we used to have a friend (note the used) exactly the same.

He was so tight he squeaked and we all got so fed up with him that we'd make him order seperately, on his own bill, and then split the rest.

Some paid with cards, a couple with cash. I think I will do what another poster said and give the £20 to the staff, I know the owner so will explain what happened.

She doesn't sound like a person I'd want to go out with tbh- the way she did that was really underhand and sleek'ed. She was effectively stealing from her friends (who subsidised her and her husband's meals) not the waiting staff. if she had a problem she should've spoken up when the bill was being divided, not sat on it to save herself £36.

Is your friend very skint?
You said they stayed with you, were they trying to save money on a hotel?

Give the £20 to the wait staff.

Tell your 'friend' that you know that she stole the tip and suggest that she gives them the extra £16 to make the tip up to what the group originally agreed it should be before she stole it.

Bloody hell. What a horrible person your friend is.

I would send her another text playing dumb, telling her you have spoken to the waitress and you're a bit confused as to why there was no tip, and could she shed any light on it since she was the last one up there to pay? Don't be accusatory at all, just see what she has to say for herself.

Whether she's skint or not is not the point. If you're that skint you make your excuses and don't attend. You don't go anyway and then steal your friends money!