Splitting Bill in Restaurant - AIBU / WWYD?

[Shiftinglard]

A couple of weeks ago 9 of us went out for a meal for my birthday. We went to a local restaurant, and had (I thought!) a really good time.

The bill came to £360 including all the drinks, so DH split it so we all paid £40 each leaving a £36 tip. We normally do it this way rather than getting the menu and splitting up the bill, we had said first and everyone was ok with this. We had really good service and food, and a couple of the waiting staff were teens that we know. DH was paying for mine, so whilst the they went to pay, I went off the loo then through to the bar. The others joined us,and we had a really good fun evening.

However, the next day one of my friends said that a guest (a friend I used to work with, I work in the same company but have moved base so still have contact with her) had looked aghast at the bill, literally jaw dropped, and said that as she hadn't had a starter or drank as much as us she thought it was "extortionate" (her husband had drank quite a bit).

I felt really bad at this, the friend in question and her DH had stayed at our house, but had left before we got up the next day (10am) however did send a text saying thanks for a good evening, and will see me soon. I thought about it for a bit, then emailed her and offered to reimburse her £20 as I didn't want her to feel she had been subsidising our food/wine, that I really enjoyed their company and thanked them for coming, and didn't want her to be put off coming again if she found it too expensive. I haven't heard back from her since.

Since then, I saw one of the teens who was on the waiting staff , who I know through my kids. She said we were a "bit miserable not leaving a tip", which I felt upset about. I then realised that the friend who was against paying waited until everyone had paid their £40, then stepped up and made up the difference to the bill, paying £44 for them both, so that no tip was left at all.

Should I just leave it? I find it odd I haven't heard back from her after offering to reimburse her some of the bill. It could also be awkward if I see her at work.

It's a tricky one. I need only pay for a main and a cheap soft drink when on a budget if that is what I ate. We do all chip in sometimes if everyone is agreed. What did the lady eat/drink? Was she paying for your meal/drinks if she paid full price.

I think you need to do the group email thing. Embarrass her in to having to own up. Just say that you have been to the restaurant, you know for a fact that no tip was paid, and play innocent. Ask if anyone has any idea what happened, could they all please double check what they paid in case there was a mistake, and say you are sorry if anyone was unhappy with the service.

Then watch the responses go round as all the innocent people are shocked and worried about it while confirming they paid what they owed.

Outraged's idea is brilliant! Please do that and report back!

Look until you know what the friend did it is all speculation.
Having worked in a restaurant there is so much corruption- waiters nicking tips, restaurant keeping it.
If she did it it is pretty disgraceful but how can you possibly know for sure?

Fun though these revenge ideas are I would leave it.

In the unlikely event of her mentioning your £20 offer just laugh and say something along the lines of the less said the better

I wouldnt want to go out with them again though unless it was for a country walk ( without the pub lunch)

This thread reminds me of one of my more cringe-inducing moments. Went for a meal with friends at the start of a planned big night out; the bloke I was dating at the time had said he would pay for the meal as he'd invited me (the friends were mutual-ish). And he just put down a tenner which was not enough to cover the two of us and someone called him on it and he got all arsey - and I ended up contributing the rest out of the cash I had earmarked for beer money later on. Wasn't pleased...

I think your friend was extremely rude and technically a theif, and also the waiter/ess was extremely rude to point out the lack of tip

Just read this and haven't read all posts but I think it's funny that you have unwittingly called her on it. She may even suspect that you knew what had happened before you wrote the email or if not, she will certainly feel very aware of what she's done now.

I am stunned though skimming through this how many people seem to have a similar tale to tell!! The worst I've had thankfully is other people thinking you shouldn't tip and us putting our tip down whih then looks stingy.

Am also interested in an update when it comes OP.

I also agree it was outrageous behaviour and your friend was technically stealing.