to want to stop breastfeeding just because...

[takingiteasy]

I do? Oh I dunno if I'm making much sense but here goes. Ds2 is almost 5 weeks old. Both he and I took to feeding really well and have had no real problems. He's gained a pound since birth, sleeps well, only gets up once in the night and is very content. I took a bout of mastitis a couple of weeks back but we fed through it and coped.

So in spite of all this I am thinking about stopping. My reasons are so selfish. I feel like I do nothing but feed I swear I'm going to get pressure sores from sitting on the sofa. I haven't spent any decent time with ds1 and miss that. Thinkin forward I would quite like a night off sometime in the next wee while and a gin

In all honesty I wasn't expecting to get this far. I only made it ti day 5 with ds1 and have no guilt. I sais I'd give it another go this time round but really didn't think it would work and here I am looking for an excuse to stop. All the while there are women putting themselves through hell to do it.

I also have zero.sex.drive which is no fun.

OP i haven't read the whole thread so apologies if this has been said already.
YNBU to want to stop to, well basically, have your body back. HOWEVER consider your baby may not tolerate formula as well and/or have an allergic reaction to regular formula. He may not thrive as much on formula. How would you feel then when your milk's gone and you can't go back to breastfeeding him?
Breastmilk is almost always well tolerated, formula is not. Think about it.

Glad most people here are being constructive. BF-ing threads in AIBU rarely end well...

I have breastfed successfully once, and jacked it in very early on once. Both decisions were right for us at the time, and I knew that at the time, but it is such an emotive subject and one which everyone has an opinion on (often a strong opinion) that even if you are sure in your own mind, it is easy to feel the need to justify your decision to others. You don't have to do this, though. It is your body, and this is your baby.

OP, I hope you do whatever you feel instinctively is best. Nobody really knows all the different, complex aspects that make up your situation, and so nobody but you can make the decision to continue with breastfeeding or not. Ignore the nutjobbers

Also, The Writer one above = the type of woman I avoided like the plague at toddler groups.

Worra - that thing that sends a new mother into a downward spiral could also be her baby getting an infection and being unwell, which is more likely to happen if she stops bf. Could also be her baby not doing great on formula and becoming sicky or constipated, also a possibility and very upsetting when it is then too late to change back to breastfeeding. Point being that we shouldn't always assume that switching to ff will reduce the overall burden of anxiety on the mum. Sometimes it just adds another set of problems to the situation. This fact is not always acknowledged when people talk about this issue, despite it being common for babies to experience minor infections, constipation and other feeding problems.

As for bf mums providing a crap weaning diet - well the evidence on this one suggests that children who come from backgrounds where bf is the norm have much better diets than children from social groups where ff is the norm. And significantly less childhood obesity. But if a bf mum does over feed her child or provide a crap weaning diet, well at least that child has had a few months of optimal nutrition. Any breastfeeding is good for a child, no matter what comes after.

Youre at the hard bit but it will get really easy and be really quick with less feeds. Soon it will be a walk in the park and you will be glad to have no bottles to sterilise. Food on tap.

Well..

BF will get quicker. I reckon established BF takes up less time than faffing about with bottles and sterilisers, then feeding. Surely when you have just had a baby you don't want to be freed up too much, your DS1 is old enough to join you and baby for a cuddle, and to understand this is just a temporary scenario. One of the main selling points for me about BF is the lack of hassle .

I am BF DD who is 10 months old and haven't lost my sex drive, apart from when I am tired. 5 weeks is pretty early on to be worrying about that IMO!

If you want to go out/drink, then express.

Having said all that, it is up to you. I just wouldn't rush into anything as I don't understand how anyone thinks FF is easier!

I loved BFing, eating lots of cake and being able to stay slim!

It sounds like he is having a growth spurt by the way and therefore feeds more. Hang on in there as it will get easier.

Rotten post worraliberty? Dont be so silly or so defensive at an opinion different to yours, the op wanted different opinions and had them, she doesn't have a problem with different opinions why do you?!

OP its completly up to you whether you want to stop breastfeeding whatever your reasons are. My sister breastfed miserably for four months,she didnt enjoy it,or feel bonded. She kept feeding because she had no physical ''reason'' to stop. One day she was at my house and her DS started crying and in turn she started crying and told me how she didn't enjoy feeding him. So stop,I said to her. It was like she was looking for permission. She did stop and has come to enjoy her DS much more and looks brighter and less weary.
I was a happy breastfeeder.

Point of the post is that whilst I enjoyed breastfeeding,my sister didn't. Whilst its easy to say that if you can breastfeed,you should,humans are a complex of physical,emotional,and hormonal responses and no woman should be made to feel guilty for however they feed their baby. Motherhood is not a race and there are no winners. We are our own worst enemies,instead of supporting one another we seem intent on undermining and guilting each other.
Paperback you could have made your point without being nasty.

though not tough

Belgo, thank you for that positive spin on my lazy arse ways.

I love you Hun.

'the goodness of breastmilk' oh good grief just eff off will you woman.

Do you go organic too?

I don't know if this helps OP but I experienced some weird hormonal side effects to bf, especially the first 6 months, that really affected my sex drive and ability to have sex (sex was very painful even though I gave birth by CS). My gynea prescribed oestrogen pessaries which kind of helped but I think the real difference was time; things got a lot better at 6 months and have improved steadily since (12 months now).

Have only read the first 3 pages, but thought I'd respond. FWIW, I EBF for almost 6 months, and continued to BF until 15 months when he self-weaned.

He fed constantly during his EBF period. constantly. Sometimes literally constantly, but if I was lucky, I could leave him an hour or two without having to feed again. It was relentless. I was always told it must be a growth spurt, that he'll get over it, and he never did. Couldn't just 'pop him in a sling' and feed as so many people suggested, as he hated the sling.

I also didn't lose a damned bit of weight being sat on the couch all the time didn't help that.

I think when I do it again, I will weaning him sooner. I didn't let myself the first time, because I do feel BFing is important, but I'm not sure that having it take over my life for so long was good for me.

(I'm very well aware of the studies and the statistics, in case anyone feels the need to share them! )

The points above about making up bottles are true. Someone will have to feed, and it will take up time. But, it will be longer between feeds, because the bottles overfeed them.

I'm not a fan of bottle feeding, but I understand your feelings. It's a very personal decision. You have to do what's best for the both of you.

It will be longer between feeds and someone else can do the feeding! It was the being totally chained to DS that drove me up the wall - I could never do anything without being interrupted because he needed feeding. He was a bottle refuser as well, which made going back to work a particularly joyous experience. Really, if I'd known how hard it would be, I'd have stopped after the first few weeks.

I'm going to break the 'rules' and just respond to the OP, because I know there will be pages & pages of debate to read through otherwise!

OP, I remember feeling like breastfeeding was all a bit too much at times when DS2 was younger. He will be ten months old in a couple of days and is still breastfed. He won't even take expressed milk from a bottle so I think we're stuck doing it now but I actually quite like it. It was just tough in the early weeks because I felt like I could hardly do anything with DS1 and it made me feel a bit sad, really. I'm glad I didn't stop though, because it only took a couple more weeks (DS2 was maybe seven or eight weeks when I started to feel better) for us to have a sort of breakthrough. DS2 started feeding more efficiently so I wasn't 'trapped' on the sofa for most of the day, and he started napping a little better so DS1 and I could have some time together.

Breastfeeding is hard. It's hard work, not always fun and can actually be a right PITA for some people, but I think it's worth it. I don't think YABU for thinking about giving up, but I would say just give it a try for a little longer and see how it is when DS2 isn't such a teeny newborn and is able to feed more quickly/go a little longer between feeds

Op, you have done brilliantly, you do whatever suits you. You have carried a baby for nine months, you have breastfeed and now you are considering a change. Good for you, don't let anyone put you on a guilt trip. Your baby will be fine, ignore the self righteous posters and do whatever suits your lifestyle x

I can't believe people are even suggesting you should carry on if you don't want to... Do you think your child is going to get to 6 / 16 /26 and think "wow mum was so selfish, she should have bf me for much longer" - no. You should do what makes you happy, and your other child too.

I tried bfing dd now aged 9 and I didn't like it so I stopped. I hated being chained to the sofa so much, I wanted to get on and do things. So I did and I was happier for it. And my sex drive returned... Incidentally I have a prolactin tumour (macroprolactinoma) and when you bf you secrete more prolactin and iit can reduce your sex drive.

I'm 37 weeks pregnant with dc 2 now and I'm formula feeding from the start. It just works better for me and my family. Everyone can feed the baby too without worrying about expressing it first.

Don't let anyone make you feel bad.

Loonybun people are suggesting she carries on BFing because she posted on an internet forum in AIBU!!! If people want pages and pages of "yes, hun, go ahead, happy mummy, happy baby" they know where to go.

I agree it is of course, her decision. I'm sure, what with having the vote and living in a democracy, she knows that already. However, from societies' POV BFing is good. It is environmentally great, statistically children and mothers are healthier so the NHS has less cost and it is free, therefore less cost to us if people need free formula. So, if you ASK people on a public forum, they are allowed to answer.

To be honest I asked her and got what I expected. A good mix of opinions, experience and advice. I've been lurking in some breastfeeding forums and quickly realised that whilst people there are full of good intentions they are way more passionate and dedicated than me.

I think I've had a really balanced response which has helped me loads. I know its my choice its just nice to discuss the options. Do you know I don't know a breastfeeding mum in real life. Both my mum and sisters have never done it and know nothing about it. None of my close friends have babies. I'm trying to build a support network and will try the support group again.

In the meantime hearing from people with real experiences and balanced advice is priceless to mea

Loony sorry, but your post made me smile as I initially mis-read it as "I tried bfing 9 year old dd..." - and I can see where that would be a shock to the system!

Looking around me, I'm starting to think future health is more tied into the weaning process than breastmilk/formula. Purely anecdotal of course.

It would be very interesting if more research was done on this.

Make whatever decision suits your whole family's needs op. My sis successfully mixed fed for a long time. Good luck.

If you do want to carry on you could express some of the time to give yourself a break. But it's your body, do what feels best.