Aibu to be really pissed off by my friend's comment to my son?

[Cathycomehome]

I have looked after my friend's two kids for the last academic year until just this week in the mornings and taken them to school with me so that she can get to work. This is unpaid, I don't know if that's relevant. The kids are in year 4 and year 6 and are both nice enough children; my son is in year seven.

The little girl is quite immature for her age , and will cry/ whine at fairly minor provocation, such as taking her glove off her on one occasion I can remember for example. My son and her brother are both guilty of this kind of thing,occasionally, it's not often just winding her up sometimes, and also of saying things like "don't be such a baby"when she reacts. I have always told the boys off, or whichever boy if it was just one of them, but she tells her mum that my son and just my son is constantly bullying her, constantly being nasty to her and on one occasion that he pushed her over six times (this was untrue, I was in the room at the time, he pushed past her on the way out and I told him off for being rude).

Anyway.....my friend has just popped round and said to my son, "you'd better stay away from X ( her husband) for your own safety, he's out to get you, I'm not joking". This is after my son said her daughter was acting like a baby on Monday, for which I told him off, also her brother said the same, but she has told her mum that just my son was saying cruel things to her all morning, and
He is a nasty bully.

I appreciate that there have been times when unkind things have been said, but Aibu to be seriously pissed off that she has basically threatened my eleven year old?

Sorry for length and also typos, I'm not too good with this iPad thing!

YANBU and I would call her out on it.

Wow, don't do her anymore favours. What a nutty family!

I would be fuming, I would have told her that regardless of the behaviour you do not want threatening language towards your son.

No it doesn't really sound as though you are BU but it's hard to deal with.

If it was me I think I'd ring your "friend" and say something along the lines of "X and Y seem to rub each other up the wrong way, I'd completely understand if you'd prefer to make alternative arrangements for the children in the mornings". I'd hazard a guess that it suddenly stops being an issue..

Did you pull up your friend for this? I would most definitely have asked if a) she was aware that it's her son whose involved too, and b) was she aware that her comment did indeed sound like a threat?

I would say that is a complete inappropriate thing to say to your DS. If I were you I would say this to the mum. I would also say if that's how her DH feels maybe they should look elsewhere for free childcare.

How did your DS react?

Looks like she'll be needing a new unpaid helper.

Well,she would if it were me.

So you won't be giving her any more free child care then?

YANBU. What kind of person threatens a child??

That would be the end of the free childcare as far as I was concerned. She needs to make alternative arrangements and pay a childminder.

What did you say to her when she said that to your son? He is probably feeling quite worried and a bit frightened now.

wow she would be out of my life so fast her feet wouldn't touch the ground.

I take it you aren't looking after the kids now? If you are then stop.

I would call her and say that you don't appreciate your son being threatened and that he deserves an apology.

Her adult (?) husband, is out to get a child
I think i would be telling them that the police would be out to get him if he so much as looked at my child the wrong way after a threat like that.
WTAF?
Tell her what really is going on, (her daughter is being a nasty little brat ) and then dump the bitch.

I hope you said something to her and I really hope you're not looking after her children any more.

You need to tell your friend she was totally out of order and that her DD doesn't always tell the truth.

Thanks for replies. I spoke to her on tuesday night and said that I thought both boys hadn't been too kind to the little girl on occasion, but today she told me that no, it's just my son as she has asked her kids. I know this is not true, as I am there when it happens, if not in same room then in hearing distance. She told me that x is really angry and as he is "very protective over his little girl" and my son had better watch it and stay out of his way. Anyway, she has now arranged for another person to have the kids this week which is an absolute relief, tbh.

I missed some replies there - glad it's not just me, I feel so pissed off but am heavily pregnant and wondered if I was over reacting a bit.

Presumably if she asked her own son what goes on while you do her this massive favour, he would tell his mother the truth? If so, it makes the way she has chosen to deal with it even more annoying.

Time to end the taking to school arrangement, I think. It's not working, and she is reacting to minor problems in a completely inappropriate way.

Wow. You are definitely NBU. You need to call her out on this. She has threatened your son.

It sounds as though she doesn't trust you to keep her DD safe, but is willing to continue with the arrangement regardless. Nutter.

None of them would darken my doorstep again.

Where were you whilst this was said op?

Good riddance to bad rubbish i'd say. She's done you a favour. In the meanwhile I'd report her comments to the police as harrassment.

Well it does sound like she is being bullied (by them both), but I hope your friend has alternate childcare lined up because threatening a child is not acceptable.

I would hit the roof tbh.